Part 35: The D-mail phenomenon is finally reproduced

"Because the path of the ring singularity opens. I've said so before, right?"

"We haven't confirmed whether or not black holes are formed. It could simply resemble SERN's time machine by coincidence, and be some entirely different phenomenon. It's dangerous to rush to conclusions."

"What are you saying? Don't you want us to make our own time machine? That's why we so bravely hacked into SERN. What we should be talking about is how we can make the Microwave Ophone (Temp) usable as a time machine."

"Do you think we can do it?"

"I don't think we can do it. We will do it!"

"What's with that spiritual supremacy doctrine? Are you an incompetent boss or something?

"Tch, damn you... You dare make those remarks about the insane mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma..."

"Well, it's not like Okarin's a boss, anyway."

"Indeed. I am the symbol of this lab, not a boss."

"I don't know what you mean by symbol, but how are you going to use the Microwave Ophone as a time machine? Tell me your concrete solution."

"Solution, huh... Right, there is one thing. We've been thinking it's random whether or not the discharge phenomenon occurs, but I have a hypothesis."

"What do you mean?"

I look at my watch. It's past noon.

"Reproduce the occurrence conditions, Cristina. Last night, we did a lot of investigation, and we overlooked the simplest, most concrete condition."



"...Ah."

"I checked the times of the two occurrences of the discharge phenomenon. When I accidentally sent the first D-mail, to Daru's phone, it was somewhere around 12 or 1 o'clock. The second time, when all four of us observed the D-mail, it was 6 o'clock. So basically, if we experiment within those two times, we can possibly reproduce the effect.

"Let's try immediately...!"

Assistant's eye color changes completely as she rushes into the development room.

"This assistant sure is in high spirits."



Only one safe banana remains. We ate the rest after the other experiment. Not a single gelified banana remains on the bunch.

"Sorry, Mayuri. I'll go buy you some new bananas later."

"Really? That makes me happy♪"
"You know, Okarin and Daru just eat my bananas, but they never pay for them."

I'll be sure to amend that in the future. If it's to bring chaos to the world, a bunch of bananas is a small price to pay.



"First, let's see if it'll become a jellyman... agh!"

She tries to get up and gloriously bangs her head underneath the table.

"Quit the clumsy girl appeal."

"It was an accident!"

Blushing in embarrassment, Kurisu gets up. She appeals with teary eyes.

"Do something about the microwaves placement. It's dangerous, and annoying."

"It made a hole in the floor, so we can't."



Mayuri pats the back of Kurisu's head, grandly waving her hand to the sky.

"Thanks, Mayuri."

Kurisu pulls herself together, types on the phone, and activates the Microwave Ophone (Temp). The banana inside the microwave slowly begins to spin in reverse. The 120 on the timer's display gradually decreases.

"Ah...!"

Peeping into the microwave, Kurisu raises her voice in surprise. The banana teleported.



"Ohh!"

"It became a gelbana, huh..."

"Heh, heheheh... fuhahaha, fuuhahahahaha! Just as I suspected, the occurrence condition was time!"

I was half-anxious in my innermost thoughts, but I'm relieved things went well. I gloriously outwitted the impertinent genius girl. With this, I've secured my position in the lab as its symbol.

"W-Way to go, Okabe. It was so simple, I didn't notice it."

"Is it vexing? But still, I appreciate your words of praise. Fuhahahaha!"

"More importantly, let's see if we can reproduce D-mail."



"Tch, Hououin Kyouma's dignity is dropping thanks to Cristina..."

"I don't think you had any dignity to begin with."

"Whatever, just help me, you two. Okabe, I'm sending a mail to your phone."

It's like she's pushing us around... While grinding my teeth, I insert my phone into the Microwave Ophone (Temp)'s slot.

"Hey, hey, Cris, what are you sending?"

Mayuri peeks at Kurisu's phone, almost hugging her.

"It doesn't really have to mean anything. We just need to confirm whether or not we can send it."

"Hmm? Lemme see here... Okabe wazu un airhe...?"

"Wait! Assistant over there, what are you typing?"

"Who knows? Ready? I'm sending it."

Daru already operated the microwave's timer through the X68000. Nothing's inside, but the microwave still operates. The countdown starts from 120.

Now's where the timing counts. We have to suddenly open the microwave door while it's operating, but we've yet to verify the timing of sending the mail. With that said, we'll do them simultaneously for now. Kurisu readies her finger on her phone's send button. I firmly grasp the microwave door's handle. Mayuri seeks cover.

"I'm starting the countdown!"

The microwave timer soon indicates 70.

"3... 2... 1... 0."

Almost simultaneously, Kurisu sends the mail, and I open the microwave door.



"Fuuhahahahaha! It's coming...! It's coming, you guys!"

Light flashes across the room. The cushioning underneath the Microwave Ophone (Temp) collapses under the weight. The floor starts creaking. Exactly like the discharge phenomenon that occurred before!



Everybody looks at the Microwave Ophone (Temp) underneath the table with bated breath. Luckily, it didn't break through the floor.

"...Did the mail arrive?"

I disconnect my phone from the Microwave Ophone (Temp) and check my mail. Kurisu peeks at my phone screen from the side.




Two mails. The timestamp was five days ago.

"Pfft..."

Kurisu wrote that mail herself, yet she starts laughing when she sees it. The "Okabe" in the first one is clearly my name. But what does "airhead" in the second one mean? Atmospheric skull? I don't quite understand what it means, but I do understand this:

My assistant is making fun of me.

No, that doesn't matter right now.

"Cristina, did you send two mails?"

"Eh? No. I only sent one."

"Mayushii saw too. She only sent one."

"But I received two of them."

"That's true... it was one sentence, but it got divided."

"By the way, what does this sentence mean?"

"Why don't you look it up yourself?"

Doesn't look like she wants to answer.



"It certainly is cut in two as well."

"I wonder what the cause could be."

"It could be related to jellymen."

"But you know, Mayushii's more concerned about why it arrived five days ago."

"That's true. Last time we sent one, it arrived five days ago too, right?"

"Yeah, it did."

"Is it some sort of rule?"

"Then then, let's try sending even more!"

It's just like Mayuri said. Now that we've reproduced the discharge phenomenon and D-mail, we should keep experimenting and get as much experimental data as we can.



"He's at it again..."

"Henceforth, we shall continue D-mail experiments for as long as possible! Daru, use the X68000 to observe, adjust, and gather information on the Microwave Ophone (Temp). Assistant, keep pumping out mail. Try out various patterns of text. Japanese, English, full-width, half-width, emoticons. The contents don't matter."

Masseuse is more qualified to type out mail, but since she's not a lab mem, I'll leave this role to Kurisu.

"What about Mayushii?"

"Mayuri, I order you to go shopping. For now, buy some bananas. I, Hououin Kyouma, shall fund you!"

"Wah, Okarin's so generous♪"

"Then Okabe gets to open and close the microwave door."

"Isn't that job as simple as putting the dandelion on sashimi?"

"Hmph, no, Assistant's judgment is accurate. Most likely, the key to a successful D-mail is the timing of opening the microwave door!"

"No, I was just kidding..."



"Wah, Okarin, naughty..."

"Furthermore, the current operation is top secret. You must not leak it to anyone. Got it?"

Mayuri nods steadily.

"Now, I shall announce the operation name--"

"Don't need one. Let's start."

"What did... you say...?"

You ruined my climax scene...