Part 90: More Like Bahram Loser
So last time someone made a... small blunder.
Heads will roll for this.
Different heads!
Very well. Childerich's forces have joined with General Novum's unit and General Luger's Fleet. Since they may mount a rather stubborn defense, I'd like the Dragon Cavalry to accompany His Highness.No surprises here, the people who were plot-forced on us in the Jidan battle are absent here, the ones who were plot-absent then are plot-forced here.
it shall be as you wish, Lady Merces. Admiral Raja, I'd like you to take care of Luger's Fleet.
Sure thing.It's a good trade; Craig and Raja are a pretty significant step up over Boz and Dinn.
Boz, Dinn, I'll leave the pursuit of the Armes Southern Mountain Corps to you two.
Dinn, seeing how Sable's your home town and all, how about you lead the pack on this one? Me, I'll just watch your back and play second fiddle!With all our useful characters over by Doraat, maybe those two jokers will get to accomplish something for once.
I am indebted to your altruism, Lord Wilde. Well, then... Shall we go to battle now, Your Highness?No, I don't feel like it. I need to, like, iron my shoe laces or something.
Okay so I forgot I was wearing sandals, let's just get on with it.
We've let them walk all over us, but that ends now! Come on! Let's go teach 'em a lesson they'll never forget!! We shall have our REVENGE!Everybody: *cheering*
Marginally better effort made this time, 4/10.
They were going to play that old war theme again, but it got interrupted.
I want his head! Failing that, other parts will suffice!
It's really the same battle we've already fought. Same conditions apply; pretty much the same strategy, too.
Using worthless townspeople to turn against us... Hmph! We won't fall for that stupid trick again!! We've shown the fools in this town what happens to those who help the enemy... Ga heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!It's not gonna be any tougher, either. I guess the enemy is a bit tougher, but so are we.
...I'll bite my tongue.Dilber's unit is the one right in front of the bridge; you can see him inside Childerich's name tag. We're gonna smack him.
That fool... That damn fool!Bahram commands the second ship from the right. It's mostly notable for its two charges of Barrage, and he's actually going to use them too, which makes him more or less the most annoying unit we've faced so far.
Lure the enemy away from town so that we can minimize the danger to the townspeople.
Your plan sucks, I'm going to charge straight in and kill everything. That's what I call a plan.
Admiral Raja, I'd like you to take care of Luger's Fleet.
Raja won't be doing a lot in this fight. We've two beaver units and dragon cavalry. Sadly they stick Roog and Rahal in with Craig, so we can't get a second one (Nick is too young to lead one all by himself) but it's gonna be more than enough.
Bahram... I've finally got you now!
March!
If you want a picture of the future of naval warfare, imagine a beaver stamping on a Nazi's face -- forever... And remember that it is forever.
Just as soon as the Nazi runs out of fucking arrows.
...goddammit Egbert, stop reminding me why I benched you.
If I had the patience I'd take this opportunity to kill off Ernst for Norma's reaction, but this is supposed to be a canon run so you can just go stand in a corner while units that don't suck take care of this mess.
And they will, quite handily.
Frey isn't quite good enough to tangle with Dilbert's unit without skills.
But we have skills.
"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance!"
Sure took you long enough to join the
The ship proceeds to heal up.
And get stuck on fucking nothing.
And keeps attacking Craig until it dies.
And this is why Suikoden V's major battle system is ass.
Bye Dilber, thanks for the loot, no one loves you.
Just gotta do some cleaning up. Bahram got knocked down to 8 HP, so I let Raja take the last shot.
We don't get anything for it, dialogue or items. Fuck Bahram.
I'd have murdered Childerich in the face while I was at it,
but he's plot invincible,
so all we can do is charge Frey at the bridge.
Like so.
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Bahram! Dilber! You worthless fools!! Fortify the gate! Don't let the rebel scum in!! KILL THEM ALL!!!Soldier: S-Sir! Civilians have swarmed our gate garrison. There's a struggle underway there right now!
WHAT?!I got this strange sense of deja phew, which is defined as the feeling that you've rolled your eyes at this kind of thing before.
Civilian: Damn those Queen's Knights! Damn that stupid Godwin! Nobody tells us what we can or can't do!
Civilian: Oh, Prince!! Those animals killed my son! Avenge his death! I beg you!
Civilian: Open the gate! Let the Prince in!
Officer: We can't hold the civilians back! The gate's gonna break!
ARGH!! Damn them! Damn them all!! All troops, back to the castle! Now!! Their gate defenses have weakened. Now, Your Highness! Storm the gate!What does it fucking look like I'm doing?!
Also
Smaller losses than last time, more dead Nazis, I call this a good day!
Childerich paces back and forth for a bit because he's dumb and we're much better than him at everything. (music)
You!
If the rebel army gets in, set the town ablaze!I've heard that people who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it, but this is ridiculous.
Officer: B-B-But...!
Gah heh heh heh heh... Those rebels and worthless townspeople! I'm gonna kill every last one of 'em!! Gah heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh! Gah heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh! Gah heh heh heh heh-
How dare you! We've lost the people's trust because of your wretched antics! No wonder we've been backed against the wall like this! Don't you understand?! Hmm... You disappoint me, Bahram. Are you saying that I'm wrong and the rebel army is right?Yes.
Now hold on! I never meant--Well okay so he's not saying it, but he should.
Now that I think of it, you once served under that old hag, Raja, didn't you? 
Of course! Now I get it! Our naval leader was secretly conspiring with the rebel army!Holy fuck, I've seen some incompetent leaders in my days, but very few get close to this level of retardation.
What?! That's why we keep losing all these battles! There is a... TRAITOR in our midst! How dare you call me a traitor!
If it's such "nonsense," then why doesn't the TRAITOR prove his innocence...? Hmph... Fine. If that's what it takes, I will! Bahram?! No, it's okay. Dilber, take over here. B-But...Stop talking and let me kill you okay thanks.
(music)
Townsman: The Prince has come! We're saved!
Town Child: The Prince! THE PRINCE!!!
The battle's not over just yet. Tell the people that they must wait in their homes until it's completely safe.
Understood, my Lady!Lelei runs off.
Childerich's main force has fled into the castle?
They're gonna use the wharf in the back to escape again!
Need a hand, prince? C'mon, let's go! Please choose who will accompany you, Your Highness.We'll go with something different this time. (music)
The enemy is cornered now. They will be desperate. Proceed with extreme caution.No. I don't want to, and you can't make me.
The enemies in here are more boring than Jidan's, but our party is quite entertaining, if not as ludicrously powerful as the last one. The Dragon Cavalry people have a bunch of unites - one between the three humans, one between the three dwag - sorry, dragon horses, and each rider has a unite with his mount. That's a lot of unites! Also dragon horses don't really do much damage, but they don't take much either. Lance and Flail tank about as well as Galleon.
Anyway, we're heading for the castle this time, too. However, we get stopped before we can head inside.
Soldier: Most of the enemy troops are trying to escape with Luger's Fleet! Raftfleet is on their way to intercept!
Sounds good! Let's join 'em, Prince! Hop on! I'll take ya to the Dahak!Dragon horse ride!
That's not gonna work, and you know it. (music)
All ships, break through their blockade so we can escape! My ship will clear the way!Also I distinctly remember sinking your ship like five minutes ago.
With this very ship.
Don't let him get any closer! Use flaming arrows! It's not over yet! Don't let them through! Stop them with the side of the ship! Admiral?! You can do it, can't you?
Of course!
The hell are you laughing at? You're stuck!
Ack!
Bahram... Forgive me!Worry not. You'll join him ere long!
She leaves me no choice!
So Bahram wants some hand-to-hand, does he?
I've come for your head!
Suddenly dragon horse!
...They could have put Frey's model on top.
He just kind of materializes instead.
Your Highness, I see you've taken after your father in my ways. Gathering the support of the townspeople... It would seem that the people have rejected us in favor of your side. Nevertheless! We must think of the future, even if the people themselves are against us. We must preserve our right to power and maintain order so that Falena may continue to prosper. I believe with all my heart that Lord Godwin is the one who will make that happen. He alone will save Falena! For Lord Godwin!!For fuck's sake!
Bahram is going to last slightly longer because I don't cheese the fight by throwing all Queen's Knights at it, so have a video I guess. You may also notice that I changed my menu noises around... well, you don't have to put up with it that often, so whatever.
He is marginally more threatening than Jidan. He even brought a multi-target attack!
...a shitty one. But still!
Draggytanks
We can output a hell of a lot more damage than they can.
Even if Bahram can stab Frey in the back row
And that is the end of him, the first major enemy vanquished.
It took perhaps just a little too long to get here, and he's still not very major, but I'll take what I can get. (music)
You may look impressive, but you're just as inept as ever, I see.
Master! The other ships have all gotten away. Are you happy now?
I couldn't hope to... surpass you if I only used what you taught me...This is one of those things that're hard to talk about without spoiling shit that hasn't happened yet, but Bahram's making a callback to... well, let's say another Suikoden with these lines. It is less effective here, because no one cares about Bahram, as much as Raja tries to convince us that we should, but the reference is obvious if you've been following the series up until this point.
Ha ha ha... You're as harsh as ever... I'm sorry... for failing you as a student.It's combined with the concept of an enemy who wasn't so bad after all and didn't really want to commit genocide, but remains loyal to his leader and/or country, choosing to go down fighting in their service rather than abandon their ideals, even when he stands little chance of accomplishing anything useful.
Like Childerich, this is one of those things Suikoden V seems to do because an earlier game did it and people liked it there, but it doesn't know why they liked it, and so it falls short.
Much like Bahram's attempt.
(Although I do like Frey's reaction.)
---
All else aside, it's amazing how much more there is to the Doraat path. (music)
Then I'm happy to say we've achieved our initial goal.It feels like they expected the player to go after Childerich, but still left the other option in case you got Roy killed and really wanted revenge or something. Bit of a disappointment, really; they could have given Jidan a couple of voiced lines.
Dinn and I have taken back Sable! You should've seen it! Ga ha ha ha ha ha ha!Then again he was never particularly relevant.
We also pushed the Armes Southern Mountain Corps all the way across the border and killed Jidan Guisu.And no one felt particularly bad about it.
Good work, both of you.
Here is where the two paths converge. You're free to go back and read the rest of it in the previous part, but very little of any real interest got said and Alenia did not get killed for being a pathetic failure, so it was all a bit of a waste of time.
Oh, and have some Bahram artwork, now that he's dead. Poor Bahram, we hardly knew ye and that's precisely the problem.
...For the record I think stars leaving if you get their friends killed is a really neat idea. Wish they'd have picked someone who doesn't run the frickin' inn, though...
There are a couple of others (Norma/Ernst, Isabel/Mathias) who'll leave if their partner dies, but outside that, there are also several general comment letters you can get from other people if a random Star bites the dust. It's a nice bit of effort, especially given it's something you can more or less guarantee most players will never see. I'll have to go into greater detail at some point.