Part 2: Chapter 2

Actually, I can't sleep. So, chapter 2 is coming to your faces immediately. Enjoy.


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Okay, we're back with chapter 2. You remember this guy here?



Apparently, he was saying "Ew" about the forest and not our mutilated little hero. "Rugged" describes it about as accurately as "mildly inconvenient" describes having one's dick in a vise.

Sigh. Let's get this part over with.



Right, the rugged forest. Seems simple enough, right? Some giant acorns, but nothing too scary.



Encounter! By the way, every time you encounter an enemy in this game, the trees and grass start waving and spazzing out while someone thrashes on an acoustic guitar and a harmonica. You really simply must hear it to believe it.



As for the slimes, well, other than their erratic movement patterns they aren't so bad. Actually, pretty much every enemy has erratic movement patterns. Stumpy here can only swing or stab with that sword of his; a swing is wider, but has less range. A stab has greater distance, but is much narrower.



Willow's actually down there between the two slimes, but he flashes invisible when he's hit.



BOOM SHAKALAKA! Kick their gelatinous asses, Stumpy!



By the way, this is what happens when you get knocked down to 0 HP. Everything flashes and turns in the negative while an ocean noise is played in the background.



Then bam. You can choose to Continue if you want, but it'll just kick you back to your hut with your stuff equipped. It's faster just to reload a save state. And yes, they are a godsend for a game like this.



Ack, a new enemy! Is that a buffalo?



Hmm, actually it looks more like a rat-dog. Those were in the movie, but all the villagers were killing them pretty easily. How hard can it-



-Hit. Ouch.

If you find yourself up against one of these, throw a goddamn acorn. Trust me.



Moving right along then... more slimes. They do about four damage until you hit the next level, so you can't afford to get hit too many times. Though Willow is, if nothing else, a resilient little bastard.



AHH! SKULLS! Run away, run-



...Fuck.



If this looks familiar, it's because the designers like to use repeating landscape. It's fun; it makes everywhere in Willow's world a labyrinth!

I know I was level 2 in a few of these screenshots, but I wasn't spamming save states like I should've, so I kept dying right after leveling up and then having to reload at level 1. Don't think you found a loophole in my LP... yet.



The slimes a little further in like to split into four mini-blobs upon death. They have the added bonuses of doing as much damage as their parent without any sort of EXP benefit for slaying them. Charming.



So, back up to the skulls. They're actually easier than slimes because all they'll do is drift slowly toward you, picking up speed gradually. If you hit them, they get knocked back with the "dog bark" noise enemies make when you smack them. This breaks their momentum, and they have to drift toward you again. If they're only coming from one direction, it's a snap to dispatch them. Try to maneuver yourself strategically for this.



In other words, don't let this happen. Also, acorns don't work. Get used to that happening a lot.



Fucking-



- Oh GOD! Fences, fences! That means a village! I'm saved!



- Help... me... coughing up lungs... I don't know how either...

(One pink glowy animation later)



YES! Thank you, random old person! He even recharged my magic. He's better at healing than the wizard and my chromosomally challenged family put together!



This is Dew. The houses in this place look like monsters that are waiting to swallow you whole, but it's a nice place anyway.



- ...the chief of this village, and he was changed into a demon by Bavmorda. Hey, it looks like you could use this shield! "You have the Wood Shield!"

Wuh, really? Just like that? Dew is a really nice village. Also, who keeps telling me that I've got this stuff?

(Triumphant yadda yadda)



Oh yeah! Who's the badass with his swanky new shield of wood that looks like it's made of metal? This midget!



Geez, people are freaking huge in this place.



I can understand my village saying this, but you guys have never even met me before. Why the sudden pressure? Do you ask everyone who comes along to save the village, or just the vertically-challenged sword-swingers?



- ...courageous and just person before being put under such wicked magic. The villagers have been put through such misery... I will give you this magic Healmace. This is a valued treasure of this village and is a symbol of a spirit protecting us. When you are tired from fighting, just clutch the Healmace tightly and say the magic word and you will regain your strength. "You have the Healmace."

- Zzzz...zzz.... Huh? What? Healmace? Uh... Okay. I don't know how it works, but I'll take it. (Do I bash my head in with this or something?)

(Triumphant something or other)



In case you're curious for some reason, the Healmace does exactly what it promises. Use it, and you'll get healed in a jiffy. The only problem is that it costs 20 MP a pop, so at 34 MP we get exactly one use out of it before it's back to acorns only.

By the way, Willow is an agile little bastard.

Coming up next chapter: Daddy slaying! Followed by light salad.