Part 12: Chapter 12
Ahhh, that's better. Next chapter!***
OH GOD, I MADE IT!
And Tir Asleen is about as busy as the other villages I've been to.
- ...here, she would surely attack again. If you want to know about Tir Asleen, go to the rocky mountain east of the castle. There should be an old woman there. She was taken from Tir Asleen to Nockmaar Castle by Bavmorda, but was saved by Airk, a warrior of this country.
Huh... okay. Paranoid little wench.
FINALLY. Bring it on, healing blood!
Oh yeah, there's a lot of these, by the way. 6 or 7 out of 10 of the places in the village have this result.
I need more mountains. Yeeees.
Oooh, a castle.
West and down of the castle is a locked house.
East and up is... snake man.
By the way, it's getting darker.
Much
Much
Darker.
Except for the radioactive giant enemies.
Big Gray. Like his cousins however he still enjoys yellow boots. Apparently they go with any skin color.
ANOTHER one? What the hell is up here?
...Really, Willow? Really?
- The castle where that witch lives? Forget it...
- But the prophecy said...
- Instead believe in the spirit's prophecy and wait!
- But everyone says that's me-
- I have waited many years on this rocky mountain for the day the brave man of prophecy appears at Nockmaar Castle and stops the witches' magic.
- I'm right he... wait a second, did you just say "witches'"? Does that mean there's more than one?
Nobody in this world takes poor Willow seriously. Oh well, let's go back down.
This is right and down of the castle.
Inside...
...Lurks a most unusual chest.
'Kay, oh well. Let me past.
...Wait a second. Go away. I want to go in that door.
That's great, but... ARGH!
That's right, a goddamn TREASURE CHEST is blocking a doorway and Willow refuses to clamber over it or even nudge it to the side so he can see what's further in.
Sigh... back to Tir Asleen proper.
While we're on the subject of annoying treasures, here's why we don't use the Wing Sword; it's useless. We won't see an improvement in it until the very end of the game, when it becomes the best sword ever.
So, Tir Asleen castle.
It's got skeletons!
It's got hallways!
Evilest ghosts you know.
Stairs leading up. Do you have stairs in your castle?
Darker hallways.
Also featuring the newest brand of ineffectual enemies, guards!
The guards are kind of like skeletons, except they have a slower attack animation and they can't block your attacks. In other words, free EXP.
Yeah, I'm really scared.
Why are there monsters in this castle anyway?
Ah, the battle shield.
It's the best shield right now, but that'll change in about ten minutes. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Gaudily dressed wizards.
More treasure? I went like five screens away.
Wonderful.
(I made a funny)
It's also the best sword currently, but that'll change in even less time than the shield.
Going down
Hey, an NPC. I never see those.
- ...called Eborsisk in the next room but I am too weak to fight him. Please take my Kaiser sword, Willow!
God, that must be a kick in the pants. "Sorry, random freakish midget, but I'm too scared to take on the monster in the next room. Please kill it for me!"
- You can defeat that monster. "You have the Kaiser sword."
Awwww yeah.
Now I know what you may be thinking, at least at the end of the next sentence. "But Miketopus, the Kaiser Sword has 9 points less attack power than the Wonder Sword!" Fear not, for the Kaiser Sword swings about three times faster than the Wonder Sword at this level. Sometimes it's actually a better idea to sacrifice power for speed in this game.
Door
AWW SNAP!
So, the Eborsisk.
It moves back and forth and shoots fireballs that go roughly half the speed of an old lady with a shopping cart.
Don't be scared by its wallhax and Airk's simpering. It's one of the easiest bosses in the game. You see, it has one fatal weakness...
...Swinging the sword hits it four or five times in succession.
That's what a lifebar looks like when it laughs at something.
EXP boost anyone?
Now let's go through that...
...Door?
- You have fallen right into our trap.
...What the hell just happened?
- I have taken the crest of the spirits.
- Now queen Bavmorda can destroy it and receive everlasting life. To show my thanks, I'll let you stay here to die. Ha ha ha!
...Well, raspberries. That's not good. Still, I have all of my equipment intact. I guess it could be worse.
...What? No, it couldn't be...
- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!
Tune in next time for another exciting update!