Part 41: The Plan In Action

PART 41 - The Plan In Action



Welcome back, everyone. Today, we're gonna try and beat this map.



So, last time, Eagle failed to use Lightning Strike effectively, and now we shall take advantage of the lowered defence all of his units get afterwards.



Thanks, Fred.



And hey, let's give Lucy a chance to absolutely murderise the shit out of this tank.



"I did it!" Lucy squealed. "With me, we're gonna win!"

"We are, but don't get cocky." Tina says.



Meanwhile, we move Bernard on a bit. Not too much - I need the fighter jets to catch up to him. Here should do.



Oh, hey, there's the bomber. That's good to know.



That's very good to know. You can see here how careful I had to be with moving my units forward.



Anyway, Michael refuels the planes and sends them on their way.



Howard heads up, and I was just about to move Stanley when it occurred to me...



May as well take this bomber down whilst it's in range.



I'M DONE
I'M FUCKING DONE


-----------~~~~THE LL LOG~~~~-----------

hi everyone! lucy here! my dude just stormed away.

i can't imagine he'll be long, but i'll fill in for you guys in the meantime.



oh no! looks like stanley found an enemy tank. that's not good!



since barold is damaged, he moved out of the way. rose joins the defensive line! us girls are the best at holding the line~



this is how things look at the end of the turn. we're a mighty army!



oh! my dude has come back. that wasn't long at all. uh... was he... crying?

-----------~~~~END LL LOG~~~~-----------


Right, day 5. Do your worst, Eagle.



I don’t know how many variations of “this dick captures a property” I can write before I just throw myself out of a window.



The tank comes to us, but doesn't actually fire on Tina. He'll be mincemeat next turn.



And, uh, very little else happens. So, let's get to work.



Stanley actually reaches the bomber this time.

_{he's a PLANE how does he even bump into ground units in the fog}



And hey, he does decent damage. I still don't really want to bring the bomber over here, because even a 2 HP bomber can be troublesome, but at least if I do accidentally leave someone in range, it's not a death on my hands.



Howard and Bernard find another bomber. Bernard's gonna stay in this position for a few turns; he'll be dropping Gareth off at HQ soon, but not quite yet.



Meanwhile, we have a tank, just sitting here and begging for death.



Tina obliges.



Rose can finish, no problem.



"This strategy is working well." Rose says. "Hopefully Eagle does not have any tricks up his sleeve... I have a feeling that he has come prepared this time."

"Anything that comes, we can handle!" Tina replies. "You're with me, right, Rose?"

Rose looks at a stuffed bear sitting on the dashboard of her copter and smiles to herself. "All the way, Tina. Together, we're unbreakable."



I move Cassandra to HQ. Eagle has a habit of sending useless dudes to nab the HQ, and she's not got much to do now that the fighters are gone. Her talents will be best used defending the HQ from any mechs that try coming over.



Alright, let's see how it goes.



...uh.



Well, that was eventful.

Several tanks and an anti-air headed into the forest, so we can look forward to those nipping at our heels next turn.

And two mechs have decided to make a perilous journey across the mountains. This is why I took the precaution with Cassandra.



So, I'm not actually attacking the bomber with Howard, he was just locating it for Stanley.



"Yeah, that's the way!" he yells.

"Oh, keep it down." sighs Howard. "This is supposed to be a stealth mission, you know..."



Howard will be moving to here. This is incredibly important. Why, you ask?



Missiles. In order to head south and find the last enemy bomber hanging around, we need to safely navigate the missileer's range.

This is also why I haven't moved Bernard down yet.



I rearrange my defensive squad a bit. Tina’s gonna be replaced with Michael, for reasons that I... actually don’t quite remember. In my defence, I was VERY tired when I was doing this map. There was probably a reason that seemed critically important to me at the time.



Well, let's see how it goes, anyway. Eagle must be getting close to another Lightning Strike by this point.



This anti-air takes advantage of Michael having committed the error of Not Being Tina.



Not lethal damage, though. So that's good.



The mechs just kinda… advance. We’ll crush them in a bit.



OK, let's counterattack. Just a few planes left to shoot down before we can go for the HQ. We're almost done!



Even without reduced defence from Lightning Strike, Fred makes short work of anti-airs.



Pfft. Rockets are amazing.



Having realised the error of my ways, I put Tina back; I don't attack, though. There's little point, it'll retreat now.



Howard, meanwhile, found the other bomber. Damn, three of these things. Eagle really likes his planes.



Stanley goes to finish the other one off, meanwhile.



OK, that's a huge relief. In a couple of turns, once Howard's downed the other one, we'll be free to move in on the HQ.



And yeah, Eagle's getting very close to another Lightning Strike. Let's hope that doesn't become a problem.



But now I have an issue. Michael, damaged as he is, is in range of this mech and the dude below him.

For some reason it didn’t occur to me to use my CO power here. Sami’s CO power very rarely occurs to me, actually.



And then I remembered that Michael doesn't die, so fuck it.



I mean, if we can make it through this battle without casualties, that would be great. Come on, Michael.



...

Other things I also forgot: these units would literally rather capture properties than attend their daughter’s birthday party.

_{For fuck’s sake.}



UH, HI? WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU SHOW UP?



"Is that unexpected enough for you?" grunts Tina as cannon fire rips through her force of medium tanks.

"Tina! Are you OK?" Rose gasps.

"I'm fine. Fred, we'll need a hell of a lot of rockets."

"Comin' right up." Fred says, grinning. "Let's see this medium tank bleed!"

Whew, good job I decided to put Tina back in. God damn, this was an unexpected spanner in the works…



This is a good screen. The medium tank’s almost out of fuel, and the other mech just kind of… didn’t attack Michael? I don’t know why, and frankly, I’m not going to ask.



Almost done anyway, to be fair. As I said last part, we only have to hold the line on the ground, the real important thing is taking out the bombers and capturing the HQ.



I forgot to screencap this fight, but Howard brought this guy to 2 HP.



Well, a 2HP bomber isn't going to do too much to Gareth to limit his capturing. Let's go ahead and drop him.

You'll note that Bernard is directly above the missiles, so they can't fire on him and he can still drop Gareth. Pretty excellent placement, if I do say so myself.



...Wait.



Yeah, looking at it, Eagle has Lightning Strike ready. Let’s bait that out, then move in on the HQ.



Meanwhile, this medium tank deserves to die, partially so it's not around for Lightning Strike but mostly for mildly inconveniencing Tina. How many maps has Tina been on <5 HP for now? I feel like it's quite a few.



I should stop putting her in dangerous situations.

But she's so good at not dying.

Anyway, Fred did the shooty thing.



Rose can't do enough damage to finish the tank off, so I send her south to deal with one of the mechs.



Of course, she handles it perfectly.



This frees up some space...



For Lucy to absolutely ruin this idiot's day.

"This is what you get for hurting Tina!" shouts Lucy, preparing her bombs.



Well, that went perfectly.



Eddie, meanwhile, should be able to fill the space left by Lucy quite well. It's only an infantry, after all.



Nice.



Cassandra, meanwhile, can deal with any mechs that dare get too close.



Property defence prevents her from completely destroying him, but eh, close enough.



And Arthur can handle the other one.



Well, that one remaining guy sure is a threat.



Tina heads back to heal. Hopefully that medium tank was the last dangerous thing coming for us, because she needs a few turns to heal.



Barold can fill in for her in the meantime.



Dave, who knows how much of a threat that one remaining guy sure is, heads over to shoot him dead.



Whew, thanks, Dave. Who knows what kind of horrors that one remaining guy could have wrought upon our army.



And hey, Alfonse is in range of the other one. Fuck it, may as well get rid of everything dangerous before Lightning Strike.



Nice.



I think we've killed enough units to reach the "not much happens" phase of the enemy AI.



Yeah, we have. Some stuff moved in the fog, but that was it.

I guess Lightning does Strike twice, huh?



…And nothing happened.

Good job, Eagle.



Well, OK, nothing important happened. Some dudes moved around.



OK, almost done. I swear.



Not that we needed it, but the silly amount of damage post-Lightning Strike def reduction allows you to do is really amusing. Crush him, Howard!



"Ugh, it's over. Bernard, you can move in."

"Righto." Bernard says merrily.



He drops Gareth on the HQ.



Barold goes for this infantry that's just kinda here.



Well done, Barold. Not that it was necessary for victory, but whatever.



And hey, if we move Fred here, that anti-air won’t be healing for long.



All the threats are gone now, thankfully. This will be a-



Shit, the other bomber was in range. Well, now I really am grateful that we shot it a bit. Good job I didn't drop Gareth a turn earlier - 2 bombers on 2 HP, with Lightning Strike, could have been dangerous.



However, with just one chance to attack, this guy isn't a problem.



Let's do that whole capturing thing.



As you can see, Gareth just has to sit and take it, really. I can't shoot the bomber down without putting someone in range of the missiles. Problematic.



Ah well. We're almost done here.



Fred does the thing that I moved him there to do.



Excellent, Freddy, my lad.



Gareth sits on HQ and waits for bombs.



There's not much else to do this turn, really.



Oof, two damage that time. Still think we've got more than enough CAPT* power though.



OK, whatever. Let's get out of here with everyone still alive!



And there we go. Eagle map? Fog of War? No problem!

Real talk, I actually really enjoyed this map once I knew where everything was. It was nice to manage a deathless run, especially after the casualties we've suffered lately. If it hadn't had Fog of War, I would have probably named this as one of my favourite maps. Interesting strategies, attacking with planes whilst defending with vehicles... yeah, it was a fun one.

Too bad IntSys hate fun.



Anyway, plot.



Alright, cool.



OK. Get on with it.



What.

Are you... are you sure it was Dipshit?



I mean, really, Eagle?



I, too, would be horrified if my entire homeland was attacked by the world's most gormless kid.



Sami's had enough, apparently. I guess she knows Dipshit would never do something like that.



This conversation is so stupid. Just spit out whatever you're going to say, both of you!



Oh, god, here comes the "Dipshit is a hero, not a villain" speech. Sami, come on. He's an idiot.



...Wait.



Ahahah! Holy shit, am I seeing this correctly?



Pfft. Dipshit, you can't dress yourself? Is that what I'm hearing?



ahahahahaha oh my god

I love that Sami’s defence here is “this idiot is literally too stupid to function” and Eagle’s just like “oh shit you’re right”. Wonderful stuff.





God, you're so right, Sami. Best CO. 10/10.



Honestly, after how difficult this map was, and how much I hate Fog of War, the absolutely wonderful catharsis of ragging on Dipshit for an entire conversation was the best reward this mission could have possibly given me.



Quiet, Dipshit. We're still insulting you.



I mean, the kid doesn't even know what an airport is.



Dipshit, honey, no. It's not bullying, it's character building.



Of course you do.



Please, for the love of god, don't make the next map an Eagle map.



A-rank, instead of S. But hey, everybody lives!

Not only that, friggin’ Michael survived the battle too. Literally everybody lives. I deserve an S-rank just for that.



We are now an Ebon Hen. I am not any closer to understanding what that means.



Well, somebody's doing a good job of impersonating Dipshit, apparently. But who?



Oh god dammit, look who's back.





Translation: "How the FUCK did you get this deep into Green Earth territory? Orange Star had to fight like twelve battles to get here, and you just casually wander in and say 'sup'?"



I think we've all established that at this point. Does every plot point require seven missions' worth of discussion before we come to a definitive conclusion about it?



OBVIOUSLY SHE DOES.

ARE WE GOING TO FIND OUT?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.



Fuck you.



This game is like torture. The entire plot is discussed and figured out by everyone that isn't you, and you just get to listen to them talk about stuff that doesn't concern you, and even now, just a few missions from endgame, we barely know more than we knew during the first mission.

Remember when this game was about finding Olaf?



He just, like, dropped off the face of Wars World after we beat Blue Moon.



Oh god please not another Drake map



Eagle, just go with Sonja. I don't have time for this.



yup another Drake map



If it's Fog of War, I'm going to snap somebody's spine.



STOP TALKING. LET'S JUST DEAL WITH THIS MAP SO I CAN LEAVE GREEN EARTH AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.



I like the idea of setting Lucy, Tina and Rose on you.



Siiiiiiigh.



Let's just get on with it.



You haven't even battled Drake. Be quiet.



I miss you, Max. The goons keep making me use Sami.



Though that, Sami, is a mood. It's not as oppressive as something like Lightning Strike, but free damage on everything is annoying as hell. It's only 1 damage, though, so I suppose it could be worse. Even 2 or 3 damage would be stupid broken.

Anyway, it’s that time again. Choose between Claude, Dimitri or Edelgard, and let’s finish off Green Earth in style. See you next time, folks!

***

The Barracks: Howard and Mulligan 1

“Phew…” Howard says, taking a drag of his cigarette as he lurks just outside the barracks. The night air is cold, but the soft glow of the cigarette is, as always, comforting. As always, however, the doubt creeps into his mind. Ever since his discussion with Mulligan at the Christmas party, the idea of trying to quit again pervades.

“Howard.”

Howard turns, and as if reading his thoughts, Mulligan has exited the barracks and is facing him with a pleasant smile.

“Mulligan. Speak of the devil, I was just musing on our discussion at the Christmas party.”

“Oh, yes.” Mulligan replies. “I can see you’ve not yet shaken the habit. I thought you might be more open to quitting if we perhaps deal with those other problems you said you have. So, what exactly is it that’s got you so stressed?”

“The job, to pick a dullard’s answer.” Howard sighs, shrugging. “Being a pilot is stressful, I’ve said as much before. My family want me to go for a promotion, too, which stresses me out even more. That battle where I almost ran out of fuel and died… that plays on my mind.”

“I can understand that.” Mulligan replies. “Being in the army isn’t meant to be fun, really. But there are fun parts to it.”

“What do you mean? Being in battle is a nightmare.”

“The most fun part of any job is the goofing off. That’s why we play poker in the barracks after a fight - that’s why we have parties, and get food together, and if you’re me, go on walks through the countryside.”

“That’s what you were going to do at the Christmas party, wasn’t it?”

“I do like the countryside. Reminds me of home.” Mulligan says. “But that’s why we do all that.”

“Poker isn’t really my thing either. Or parties. My thing is having a smoke after a battle.”

“And before. And during.” says Mulligan wryly, raising an eyebrow. Howard allows himself a quick chuckle. “Come on. Go on a walk with me. You can keep smoking. But you might enjoy seeing some of the sights.”

“Can’t hurt.” Howard says, shrugging. As he walks away, he tosses the cigarette on the ground and crushes it under his boot.