Part 35: Interview 18 [Part 1] - "The Children Of Blue Moon” (Or, “Dipshit’s Redemption Arc”)

Interview 18 [Part 1] - “The Children Of Blue Moon” (Or, “Dipshit’s Redemption Arc”)
_{(doubleposting because this part was super long, part 2 is directly below)}

Welcome back, my dude. Let's begin.



Time for the showdown, huh?

Correct.



Are we in trouble?

You’re a reckless little thing, aren’t you? How do you plan on explaining this to Hawke?

Ah yes, Hawke. Still haven’t met him yet. I’m curious as to what he’s like.

You’ll be waiting a little longer, I’m afraid.

Flak! The factory’s too close to those silos! What happens if it gets hit with a missile?

I hadn’t thought of that…

That implies that Flak either built the factory, or built the silos. Both options are equally weird though.

Tee hee hee! Those missiles won’t even scratch my Lash Armor!

her what armor

don’t ask

And that pipe seam is totally wrapped in the stuff! I can’t wait to start using my factory to make them miserable!

Don’t worry, Adder. Lash has a plan.

I can deploy any unit I like, right? Tee hee hee…

I wonder if those two can handle this…



Yessiree, Boss. Ready when you are.

Um… The commander-in-chief of Orange Star is approaching.

Wait, you don’t mean-

Indeed.

Orange Star? Hmm… Show her in.

It’s been a long time, Olaf.

…It really has. I miss you, Nell.

Hmph! Nell… What are you doing here? I didn’t request reinforcements.

No, but I did.

Grit! Why, you no-good… Are you familiar with the concept of “chain of command”?

Pffthahahahahah. I love Olaf.

I think, more accurately, you love his dynamic with Grit.

Yes, exactly.

Commander Olaf, Commander Grit did what he thought best for Blue Moon!

I know that, boy. Now shush!

That sentence is begging for a “the grown-ups are talking”, isn’t it?

This is a vital strategic location. Orange Star offers its aid.

Seeing as this is our territory, I’m of a mind to send you packing… However, we are a bit shorthanded, so I’ll accept your offer.

WE-

No, we don’t get to play as Nell. Calm down.

Commander Olaf, the troops are ready when you are, sir!

Very well! Let’s not fall behind. Advance on all fronts!

Interestingly enough, that’s quite close to how our chosen combatants take care of this map.

Advancing on all fronts? Interesting.

Brilliant work, Commander Grit… Seeing Blue Moon’s danger and rallying our allies so quickly!

Huh? Oh, that… Anything to keep from getting shot up, son.

A bullet shared is a bullet halved.

I don’t think that’s a real idiom.

What? That was your reasoning? Commander Grit! Wait up, sir!

It’s only just occurring to me now, but Grit and Colin’s relationship is very similar to what Dave and Rin’s relationship was like… huh.

Speaking of relationships, now we’ll see which two officers are taking on the most challenging battle of Blue Moon.



First up, we have Colin. His last battle wasn't very impressive, so we'll get to see him in action properly once more. And next we have-



Noooooooo

Dipshit.



So, allow me to give you the deployments once more.

TODAY’S DEPLOYMENTS
Blue Moon
Boris, Infantry
Ivan, Infantry
Anton, Infantry
Dimitri, Tank
Diana, Tank
Anna, Tank
Kira, Tank
Eva, Rockets
Valentin, Missiles
Mark, Missiles
Zlata, Neotank

Orange Star
Dave, Infantry
Carter, Mech
Michael, APC
Lucy, Artillery
Ingo, Tank
Fliss, Tank
Carl, Anti-Air
Arthur, Recon
Alfonse, Battle Copter
Von Panzer, Battle Copter

Can't wait for Dipshit to do absolutely nothing useful again.



I promise you…I will win!

Here’s our chance to drive the Black Hole Army out of Blue Moon! I’ve been waiting for this!

Here's the map, also. You'll note something rather crucial about this factory, compared to the Orange Star one.



...The seam's behind the factory. Colin and Dipshit can't just sneakily blow up the seam from the side or anything; they'll have to go past the factory to reach the seam.



Correct. You'll also note that Colin doesn't start with any troops. Andy will be taking care of the first couple of skirmishes to buy time for Colin to build an army. So... let us begin.



Colin deploys Boris, Ivan and Anton. Two of them will be on capturing duty.

And the other?

You'll see.



Ingo and Fliss, in the tanks, move out. They have a very tight deadline to meet. In the meantime, Michael takes Dave north to also achieve an important objective.

"Hey there, soldiers of Blue Moon!" Lucy says through the transceiver. "We'll take care of these foes - once you're ready, meet us by the factory to press the advantage!"

"Well met, lil' lady." Dimitri says. "You heard her, Dimitri's Mercenaries. Let's prepare our forces and move out as soon as possible. We can't let Orange Star show us up at this crucial juncture, y'know?"

Ingo nods, turning his tank to face the expansive forests leading towards the imposing Black Hole factory. "I'm looking forward to fighting alongside your soldiers, Dimitri. Now then - we'd better make a beeline for that factory."

"The factory? But what if Lash brings out a couple of medium tanks, or even a Neotank? You'll be sitting ducks!" says Mark.

"Don't worry. We have a plan. Just meet us up there ASAP." Ingo replies. "Come on, Fliss, let's get going."



"Carter, you good?" Dave asks.

Carter eyes the nearby property and readies his weapons before replying. "Yep! I'm just one piece of a larger army. You go do the frontline stuff - I'll capture properties down here and help out that way!"

Dave grins. He's pleased at Carter's newfound maturity. "Good work, soldier. Those funds will be crucial to our success."



And so the troops move out.

Mark raises an excellent point. What plan can they have to deal with that factory's nonsense?



Oh, well, it wouldn't be a Black Hole turn without infantry units randomly capturing shit.



Indeed. Now the infantry will begin capturing.



Colin deploys his first tank, Dimitri. Boris and Ivan begin capturing, but Anton has a somewhat different goal.

...The silos.



Correct as always. There are three silos, and really, Blue Moon would like to use all three of them. Lash has enough advantages with her factory, let alone allowing her to get a free 3 damage on Colin and Andy's troops.

No kidding. Ah, and Dave's being dropped off next to that airport.

Aerial support will be key for this map. As you can see, the forests all around make it difficult to traverse on land.



Carter finishes his capturing, meanwhile.



The tank crew is still gunning for the factory, I see.



Correct, and in response, Lash produces a group of recons.

I mean, I was expecting tanks, or worse. Recons are barely a threat, especially to Fliss and Ingo.



The recons travel south, but you're right, they aren't much of a threat. A hindrance at best, really.





Dimitri heads north to rendezvous with the Orange Star forces, whilst Boris captures a base. Ivan finishes capturing his property, too - Colin's resources continue to grow.



And now Diana has been deployed. Is that base just gonna keep spitting out tanks?

Pretty much, yes.



Ingo and Fliss continue travelling north to the factory, but whilst she's in range, Fliss decides to harass this recon.



Just shy of a kill, but well, that's what Carl is here for.



Dave begins capturing the airport. Unfortunately, Dipshit doesn't start out with any properties at all, so his funds are incredibly dire. It will be quite a few days before he'll be able to deploy anything useful.



Lucy, in the artillery, and Arthur, in the recon, are providing backup to the factory-charging forces.



Ooh, and they're gonna need backup. This mech will hurt.



Thankfully, it's the only assault that occurs this turn. The recons aren't terribly interested in suiciding against the tanks in their path.



Anton reached one of the silos, though!



He rains rockety death down on this crew of buffoons.



Boris and Ivan aren't doing anything nearly as cool.

There's a silo to the east of Boris, though. He'll be firing that later in the map.



And another tank, what a surprise.

If you could purchase tanks as cheaply as Colin, wouldn't you do so? Anyway, this is Anna.



Dipshit's turn now. Carter is still capturing things down south, in case you were wondering.

I wasn’t.



More importantly, Dave captures the airport. Once Dipshit has the funds necessary, he can provide useful backup for the ground forces.

I don't like the way you used the words 'Dipshit' and 'useful' in the same sentence there.



Despite being damaged, Ingo takes his place next to the factory gates, and Fliss goes next to him, deciding to shoot the infantry to her left for basically no reason.

In front of the gates? But when something spawns it's going to be right on top of them-



Ruin?

Mm?



What happens if there's a unit in front of a gate when an enemy is supposed to spawn?

It doesn't spawn.

Oh my god.

Anyway, Carl finishes off the mech that attacked Ingo.



And Lucy decides to punish this recon for trying to sneak past the tanks.



This is how Dipshit's turn stacks up. Two of the three factory gates are closed off, but even with their near-perfect use of movement, it's not possible to reach that third gate before...



An artillery spawns. Great.



Ingo is safely inside the artillery's range, which is good, because he's on 4 HP. Fliss is going to take a rather brutal hit though.



I see the recons are continuing to prove themselves as hindrances.



Yes, but as you can see, with how weak they are, plus the forest defensive bonuses... they really aren't much of a threat at all.



Oh, and that tank is a problem.

It is of crucial importance that the factory remains blocked - otherwise a medium tank would be coming out of it in just a day or two. But with Ingo and Fliss so damaged, it will be tough holding that position.



Colin's turn. Now what exactly is the best move here?



First things first, Diana is going to destroy this recon.



And now for something completely different.



Actually, it's something completely the same. Another tank - this time it's Kira.

This kid sure loves his tanks.



Indeed. Dimitri destroys the mech, but there's still no way to reach that tank up north. It's going to be a real nuisance unless Dipshit can do something about it.

I'm not gonna say "I doubt it because Dipshit's completely useless", but... I doubt it, because Dipshit's completely useless.



Don't count him out just yet, Commander.



Ingo attacks the artillery, doing a bit of damage.



The issue here is that leftmost factory gate. Even if Fliss leaves and someone else replaces her, Dipshit doesn't have any units that can survive an artillery hit AND a tank hit.

Indeed. He needs a way to draw that fire.



First, Ingo and Fliss join up. This somewhat solves the problem of them being on low health, but it doesn't solve the problem of blocking that leftmost gate.



Aha... yeah, that's a good solution. The artillery will go for Carl, whilst the tank has to go for Arthur.

"Are we... going to be OK?" Fliss asks nervously. Ingo nods at her.

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise."

"Arthur... how are you holding up?" asks Carl, trying his best to sound less creepy.

"Oh, I'm peachy!" Arthur says, his voice booming around the battlefield even without the use of a transceiver. "I'll hold out as best as I can. That's all we can do, right?"

"Of course." Ingo says. "Let's do it, then. Hold your positions! We need to buy Blue Moon enough time to get their army together!"



This is going to be rough for everyone. They can't keep this up much longer.



The artillery goes for Carl, as predicted.



And the tank attacks Arthur. An almost perfect strategy...

The tank unleashes a salvo of bazooka shots that rip through the trees, rending everything in their wake. As the first blast hits Arthur's recon forces, he suddenly comes to a sobering realisation.

"Sorry, folks!" he yells, his booming voice carrying above the noise of explosions around him. "I don't think I can hold ou- NGH!"



"Arthur? Arthur!" Fliss screeches, terrified at the thought of losing a fellow soldier on foreign soil. As she scrabbles for the exit of her tank, Ingo places a hand on her shoulder.

"I know. I know, Fliss. I wanted to scream at the sky and never stop when my brother died, and when my blood brother fell... but their sacrifice was so I could keep fighting. We must hold the line. That's what we're here to do."

Fliss slows her breathing, and nods at Ingo. "R... right..."

UGH. I can't even be mad at him for this one.

You can't?

No. I would have done the same thing, and made the same mistake. This isn't Dipshit's fault; that was pretty much the best possible move he could have made to minimise losses. Still, shame to see Arthur go. Poor guy.



The important thing is that they held the line. Now that the Blue Moon forces are slowly arriving, it should become slightly easier.

I mean, the most important thing they need to do right now is get rid of that fucking artillery.



It would seem that Anton agrees.



YEEEEEEES. Crush them all!



Diana decides to brutalise this tank, meanwhile. And, honestly, he deserves it.



Ah, not quite a kill, though.

No, but a tank on 1 HP is pretty much a non-issue.



Meanwhile, Anna joins the party by blowing up this anti-air before it could make a nuisance of itself.



Also, do you remember when I said Boris had a silo near him? Here it is.

Damn, 6 damage to everyone within this range. That's practically Sturm's Meteor Strike.



I'll take your word for it. Anyway, safe to say that all of the primary threats have been neutralised. Dipshit's turn next.



I see Dave is still capturing stuff. Dipshit's still short of money, I take it?



He is short of money, yes. He isn't short of Lucy-related explosions, however. Our artillery friend fires on another foe.

Good girl. Best girl. Best girl.



Ingo and Fliss are more than capable of removing this artillery now.



Unfortunately, there's nobody to fill that gap just yet, as nobody is in range. But nothing is due to spawn from the factory today.

Phew. I wonder how they even know which stuff is coming on which day, anyway?

I imagine Nell got some intel before she began the battle.



Unfortunately for our forces, Lash has more threats coming in from the north-east. That anti-air is too close for comfort.

Ugh, every time they kill everything, Lash deploys more stuff. It's neverending.



It would be so much worse if they hadn't blocked the factory. Medium tank, then a few days later, a Neotank.

Oh, wow, fuck that noise.



Anna is in range to cover this last gate. Furthermore, she's also the only one in range of the anti-air, and she can survive it with no worries.



Diana finally gets rid of that tank, I see.



And Dimitri goes for the enemy infantry. This north-west area is where Colin and Dipshit's forces will be attacking the seam from.



Oh, even though he's finished firing missiles, Anton's heading further north to help. I'm not sure what one infantry will do, but hey, we'll see.



Dipshit's turn next.



Friend!

Correct. He deploys Alfonse in a, uh... what did you call them?

Bro copters.



I'm still not sure that's what they're actually called, but OK. Lucy also heads north.



Wait, did Lash not attack with anything?

Nope. The best possible result, really.





Diana heads down to open fire on this anti-air.



But then Anna has to help out, but even she can't quite kill it...



TRIANGLE ATTACK!

What?

You wouldn't get it.



Anyway, since you were wondering how Anton's going to contribute, he can take out this enemy infantry.



Dimitri does have to stay in front of him though, so he doesn't get mauled by Lash's tank further up.



Dipshit's turn. And hang on! Fliss/Ingo have just gone to shoot that infantry.



Lucy will be installing herself here. With her superior range, she'll be useful in holding back any threats that try to attack the soldiers guarding the factory.

Damn, Dipshit. I'm almost impressed. Not bad at all…