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Advance Wars 2

by cosmicPostman

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Original Thread: Let's Play Advance Wars 2: A Mostly Blind Run Alongside A Murder Inquiry



Hey folks, this is the second LP in a series. The first, Let's Play Advance Wars, can be found here, which should provide some context as to how we do things. Basically I'm playing through the game whilst trying to lose as few soldiers as possible, a la Fire Emblem, like I did with the last one. The name of my player character in the first LP was 'my dude', and even though there's no named player in Advance Wars 2, he still shows up regardless...

Updates are every Friday, and each update contains an additional link leading to some extra content, usually conversations between characters and the like. A full soldier list is linked below. Enjoy!


Interview 0 - "Contents"

Some people are universal constants; though many people exist in alternate universes, universal constants are different in the sense that they can exist in ANY universe, not just universes from the same cluster. They appear everywhere, with no rhyme or reason to their existence - note that just because they can exist in any universe, it doesn’t mean they do. Some universal constants include a red-haired expert saleswoman called Anna, a web-slinging do-gooder called Spiderman, the scientist Rick and his grandson Morty, and an outspoken but charismatic tactician called my dude.

My dudes have a tradition that they call Dudecon: every year, they get together for a wild night of partying in a sub-dimension with one another. In order to tell each other apart, they all go by nicknames based on their role or original universe. Commander (that’s me), Persona, Dragonborn, Professor, Scout… every my dude has a nickname. More importantly: every my dude is aware that the others exist.


“Beginning recording. Interview zero, with subject “my dude”. Identifying name: Commander.”

My eyes open blearily, and I find myself sat at an empty table in a boxy room. The room is quite dark, with only a dim light far up on the ceiling; it illuminates the place just enough for me to see the girl opposite me. She’s serious-looking, with long white hair, a pale face, and a pack of playing cards in her hand.

“Wh-what?” I mutter.

“You are the my dude of the Advance Wars universe, correct?” asks the girl.

“Uh, I’m my dude.” I reply. “What’s this about Advanced War universes?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know what a universal constant is.” the girl snaps.

“Fine, fine. Yeah, I’m the my dude from Wars World.” I reply, putting my hands up in a gesture of goodwill. The girl nods in satisfaction.

“Commander, right?”

“That’s what the others call me. I have some kind of vague leadership position.” I reply. “What’s this about, anyway? And who are you?”

The girl shrugs. “I suppose it would help to inform you. My name is Ruin; Omniversal Police, Constancy Division. Universal constants can be dangerous, and it’s my job to monitor them.”

“Uh, right.” I reply. “Some kind of universe-hopping detective, then?”

“Effectively.” Ruin replies. “I have taken special interest in the universal constants calling themselves ‘my dude', however.”


“Well, to put it simply, Commander,” Ruin says, leaning back in her chair as she tosses the pack of playing cards between her hands. Back and forth, back and forth... “A my dude has been murdered, and I believe the culprit was another my dude.”



Orange Star Barracks
Blue Moon Barracks
Yellow Comet Barracks
Green Earth Barracks


Table of Contents

Orange Star
Interview 1 - “Whilst You Were Away" (Or, “Backstreet’s Back”)
Interview 1 Bonus
Interview 2 - “Defending The Border” (Or, “Someone Who Doesn’t Fucking Suck”)
Interview 2 Bonus
Interview 3 - “Mounting Resistance” (Or, “I Don’t Think Max Knows What An Ocean Is”)
Interview 3 Bonus
Interview 4 - “A Risky Strategy” (Or, “Michael’s Life Is Valuable, Dammit”)
Interview 4 Bonus
Interview 5 - “The Black Cannon” (Or, “The Only Thing Better Than One Medium Tank”)
Interview 5 Bonus
Interview 6 - "Sami's Secret Agenda" (Or, "Mother Fucking Planes")
Interview 6 Bonus
Interview 7 - “Battle On The Bridge” (Or, “Well, We Couldn’t Escape Fog Of War Forever…”)
Interview 7 Bonus
Interview 8 - “Flak’s Last Stand” (Or, “The Unstoppable Urge To Just Bomb The Fuck Out Of Things”)
Interview 8 Bonus

Blue Moon
Interview 9 - “Prelude To Chaos” (Or, “Boris Will Choke This Point”)
Interview 9 Bonus
Interview 10 - “The Snows Of Combat” (Or, “Stop Shooting My Fucking Rockets”)
Interview 10 Bonus
Interview 11 - “Into The Adder’s Nest” (Or, “Now I Am Become Grit”)
Interview 11 Bonus
Interview 12 - “The Backlash” (Or, “Did Blue Moon Just Steal My Strategy?”)
Interview 12 Bonus
Interview 13 - “Colin’s First Test” (Or, “The All-Consuming Power Of Money”)
Interview 13 Bonus
Interview 14 - “Dimitri’s Fury” (Or, “Please Stop Saying Princess”)
Interview 14 Bonus
Interview 15 - “Fifteen Days To Die” (Or, “The Dream Team We Didn’t Know We Needed”)
Interview 15 Bonus
Interview 16 - “Cutting It Fine” (Or, “Some Tragic And Completely Avoidable Sacrifices”)
Interview 16 Bonus
Interview 17 - “A Creative Strategy” (Or, “What The Fuck Is Wrong With You, Lash?”)
Interview 17 Bonus
Interview 18 [Part 1] - "The Children Of Blue Moon” (Or, “Dipshit’s Redemption Arc”)
Interview 18 [Part 2] - "The Children Of Blue Moon" (Or, "Dipshit's Redemption Arc")
Interview 18 Bonus

Yellow Comet
Interview 19 - “The Desolate Flower” (Or, “Bro Copters To The Max”)
Interview 19 Bonus
Interview 20 - “Skirmish On The Shores” (Or, “Rose’s Rampage”)
Interview 20 Bonus
Interview 21 - “Desperate Struggle” (Or, “The Sonja Is On The Other Foot Now”)
Interview 21 Bonus
Interview 22 - “Fortress Assault” (Or, “All Copters Are Bastards”)
Interview 22 Bonus
Interview 23 - “Orange Alliance” (Or, “A Very Tiny Opening Gambit”)
Interview 23 Bonus
Interview 24 - “Island Of The Damned” (Or, “Cruise Control”)
Interview 24 Bonus
Interview 25 - “A Trap, Sprung” (Or, “The Biggest Dick Energy Of All”)
Interview 25 Bonus
Interview 26 - “In Broken Glass” (Or, “Where The Hell Is Von Panzer When You Need Him?”)
Interview 26 Bonus
Interview 27 - “Calling In The Cavalry” (Or, “A Veritable Dudestorm”)
Interview 27 Bonus
Interview 28 - “The Tides Turn” (Or, “This Many Bombers Should Be Illegal”)
Interview 28 Bonus
Interview 29 - “Naval Nightmare” (Or, “Bote Fight”)
Interview 29 Bonus
Interview 30 - “Unity” (Or, “Dipshit Finally Uses His Super CO Power”)
Interview 30 Bonus

Green Earth
Interview 31 - “Mulligan’s Secret Mission” (Or, “The Boys Are Back”)
Interview 31 Bonus
Interview 32 - “Sunk Cost” (Or, “A Newfound Respect For Anti-Airs”)
Interview 32 Bonus
Interview 33 - “A Foggy Fracas” (Or, “The King Of Boring-But-Functional”)
Interview 33 Bonus
Interview 34 - “Drake Under Fire” (Or, “The Mother Of All Bote Maps”)
Interview 34 Bonus
Interview 35 - “Steel From Both Sides” (Or, “Hawke Fights An 11-Year-Old”)
Interview 35 Bonus
Interview 36 - “Flight Over The Ocean” (Or, “There Is No Problem Six Bombers Cannot Solve”)
Interview 36 Bonus
Interview 37 - “The Rescue Mission” (Or, “Transports. Supply trucks. Distractions.”)
Interview 37 Bonus
Interview 38 - “Jess’ Hit Squad” (Or, “I, Too, Am A Connoisseur Of Lava”)
Interview 38 Bonus
Interview 39 - “Christmas In Wars World"
Interview 40 - “The Air Descends” (Or, “Cruisers Still Aren’t Good”)
Interview 40 Bonus
Interview 41 - “Pushing Forward” (Or, “Hallelujah, It’s Raining Mechs”)
Interview 41 Bonus
Interview 42 - “Her” (Or, “You Cannot Be Fucking Serious Right Now, Shut Up”)
Interview 42 Bonus
Interview 43 [Part 1] - “The Final Blow” (Or, “Incredibly Stressful Planes”)
Interview 43 [Part 2] - “The Final Blow” (Or, “Incredibly Stressful Planes”)
Interview 43 Bonus

Black Hole
Interview 44 - “Sturm’s Botening Gambit”
Interview 44 Bonus
Interview 45 - “I Just Kept Facetanking And It Just Kept Working”
Interview 45 Bonus
Interview 46 - “The Night Before”
Interview 47 - “Let’s See How Far We’ve Come"
Interview 47 Bonus
Interview 48 - “Slightly More Desperate Than I Was Intending”
Interview 48 Bonus
Interview 49 - “Their Finest Hour: Results”
Interview 50 - “Credits"
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