Part 19: Interview 10 - “The Snows Of Combat” (Or, “Stop Shooting My Fucking Rockets”)

Interview 10 - “The Snows Of Combat” (Or, “Stop Shooting My Fucking Rockets”)



Welcome back, Commander. Now then, the map continues in much the same vein as it did before.



But this time, with rockets.

Quite. Valentin provides useful support.



With the thread eradicated, Ivan makes his way south, where he'll be picked up by Ludmilla.



Oh, and he joins with Eduard. I suppose they were in a bad way, at least this'll speed up any capturing they want to do.



Correct. And thus, Ivan makes the attempt to capture this city once more.

The lab map's either in that city or the city next to Leo. I'm calling it now.



Mikhail continues picking a fight with this infantry. It goes about as well as expected.



Hm. I get the feeling that the worst of this map is yet to come. That artillery's going to make pressing the advantage harder, for a start.





Well, because they can ignore mountains, this infantry is able to fire on Valentin. Thankfully, he doesn't do very much damage, and Valentin can heal it all next turn.



And in the meantime, that's a big ol' dude sandwich. There's no way to really push through all of that.

I haven't heard that term before. Hee hee. Dude sandwich...



Olaf's turn again. Of course, the first half of this map was only the introduction - the second half is where things get difficult.



Valentin fires on the tank, doing decent damage.



Aw, Ivan captured the city. Well done, Ivan.

No lab map, though, as you likely noticed.



That's what Eduard/Peter and Ludmilla are for, though. Get to that southern city, guys! It must be there!



It could be one of the cities on the far left, my dude.

I mean, it could, but that would be horribly unfair.

True. Anyway, Boris destroys this poor recon without trying.



Oh, but Lash has her CO Power... hm. I mean, she might not use it.



The threat is always there, though. Anyway, Mikhail bullies this useless infantry, which clears a space to approach the mech on the mountain.



Dimitri's gonna go for it, I see.

Yes, but...



What the fuck. What weapons are they giving these mechs, plasma cannons?!



The mech would likely be able to kill Dimitri next turn, so Leo joins with him to provide some support.

"Hey, Dimitri. Don't overreach yourself now!"

"Come on." sighs Dimitri. "How was I supposed to know he'd hit that hard?"

"Fine, fine. Let's just make sure we all come back safely, OK?" Leo replies, looking at Dimitri over his shades and winking.

Dimitri nods. "Of course. They won't defeat us!"



Well, this should be fine. Boris is continuing to choke that point, anyway.





True, but the enemy mech has spotted the weakness. He goes for Dimitri/Leo once more.



And does an unbelievable shitload of damage. What the hell, mechs?

There's another one right behind him, too. This could get rough if a solution isn't found.

The solution is the same as the solution to most things. Rockets to the face.



Speaking of ranged units, it seems Ivan has lured the artillery closer to him. This might be a good time to press the advantage.



Rockets to the face, tank!



Olaf deploys a second medium tank - Zlata.

"Hey, guys! I'm on the field and ready to fight! This baby's been given some fine-tuning; watch what I can do!"

"She's certainly lively." says Mikhail, shrugging. Boris nods.

"Hmph. Any help is better than no help - I just hope she's as good as she says she is."



Meanwhile, Ludmilla finally transports Eduard/Peter across the map to the southern city.

They've been on quite the tour around this map, those two.



Mikhail decides that he's had enough of this infantry just inconveniencing everybody nearby and goes to shoot him. Unfortunately, mountain defences mean that he doesn't go down easily.

I was going to say. What kind of infantry only gets three-shot by a tank?



Dimitri and Leo, meanwhile, decide to get out of the mech's range, or in your vernacular, "the heck out of dodge".

That's not my vernacular. I would never say "heck" where "fuck" would do the trick.



Also, Olaf summons a blizzard.

"Neither man nor machine"? But apparently you can withstand nature, seeing as you, you know, contrlo it.



Perhaps that's his secret. He's not a man or a machine.

He's a jolly old elf, like in The Night Before Christmas. Obviously.



I do like the snow palette though. Go on, Boris, show them the fury of military Santa!



And hey, at least this'll prevent the enemy from advancing too much. It might buy Olaf the time he needs to get past the chokepoint and strike the enemy's heart.



The snow, however, does not prevent this infantry from starting to recapture that city.

That's not too worrying. The map's not there, so besides some extra funds, the city isn't very useful to Olaf.



This guy is really determined to kill Valentin, isn't he?



He's trying his best. The snow fades, and Olaf's next turn is soon to begin.



Wow, that CO Power is useless. If it lasted for more than one turn I could see the potential, but... eh.



Peter/Eduard make a start on the city.

Does it have the lab map? Or is it elsewhere? The anticipation is killing me.



Now is the time for taking action - with the artillery lured all the way up, it's a good opportunity to move forward. Valentin opens the way for the tanks with a quick shot at this weakened APC.



And though the tanks might be afraid of a mech, Boris can pretty safely initiate on this idiot without problems.



Better than that - though they're weakened, Dimitri/Leo have just enough damage to defeat this mech...



And Mikhail has exactly enough power to take out this mech. Nice! That gets rid of the main threats to the tanks. They can charge forward with impunity now.



Quite so. Although up north, things aren't quite so good, so Olaf deploys an artillery. Meet Mark.

Oh hi Mark...



And with one last movement as Zlata goes to catch up with the others, the turn ends.



Let's hope the enemy aren't too aggressive.



Well, to absolutely nobody's surprise, they recaptured the city.



Oh my god this guy's going for Valentin again

He really needs to find a hobby.



Plus, in response to the threat, the enemy artillery has moved back down.

I’m not even partaking in this battle and that artillery is the bane of my existence.





Now that we're moving forward, Valentin moves over to the nearby forest for better coverage. He won't get healed by the base any more, though, so it's a risky move.



One more turn. It must be here...



Olaf deploys a- hm. I forgot to give you the details for this unit, didn't I?

Yeah, you did. I thought you had an eidetic memory?

Eidetic, not photographic. They're different things. Anyway, here.

DIANA
Age: 31
Personality: Prone to outbursts.
Proficiencies: Fighter, Battle Copter, Tank



And annoyingly, Boris will have to retreat.

Man, Lash, you're fun, but fighting you definitely doesn't look fun.

She's fun?



Well, yeah, it’s like Nell always said. “My dude, there are three truths in life. Everyone will die, everyone must pay taxes, and everyone loves a good murder loli.”

Nell has definitely never said that.



You'll never guess what happens.

Does the infantry shoot Valentin.



...Yes. That's all that really happens though. And next turn, during the middle of capturing the city...



I called it!

Hm? What’s that?

Well, I’ll be… What you’ve got there is a map pinpointing an enemy lab.

A lab? What do you mean?

Olaf how do you not know what a lab is

It’s where the enemy’s workin’ on their new weapons. It would make things a mite easier if we could get some of those new weapons for our side too.

Hmph! I don’t like it. Using enemy weapons…

Olaf has not yet been converted to the Church of Neotanks.

If I'm honest, neither have I. They sound powerful but, like, they're only one unit. They can absolutely murderfuck something, true, but only one thing per turn. Three medium tanks is better than a Neotank, that's my opinion.

Well, we know the location. Least we can do is stop in and take a look-see.



Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled Valentin Firing Rockets.



Mark's out of range there. Hm.



Olaf has Mark and Ivan retreat; when the infantry gets lured into capturing the city, they'll be able to destroy it.

Good thinking, that.



Boris, meanwhile, looks at a recon so angrily that it immediately explodes.



And our new friend Diana attacks this infantry.

When is he going to die? He's been here forever.



At least on 1 HP he probably isn't going to do very much to Valentin.



That is good news.



And now here comes Lash's Super CO Power.





TRIME PACTICS

Are you actually capable of reading?



Ah, I see why she needed her Power now. Look at how aggressively that city is being conquered.



Yes... that wasn't the best time to use it, really. Ah well, at least Olaf got through it unscathed.





Ugh, but he's still feeling the after-effects. That defence-doubling isn't going to make it easy to kill anything this turn, especially not this infantry...



It's worth Mark attacking anyway, though. Now it's damaged, it's going to be another two turns before it finishes capturing the property.

Friggin' six defence stars...



And before that tank can make trouble for Mark and Ivan, Diana finishes it off. Thankfully, she had just enough firepower to do so.



Valentin provides a tank with a balanced breakfast of rockets to the face...



Followed by a bazooka.



And now with a second medium tank, Zlata can take advantage of the opening to strike! Hopefully that artillery stops being the absolute worst thing in existence.

Somehow, I doubt it.



Deciding that the enemy need more balanced breakfasts, Olaf deploys more missiles. This time we have Anton. He's here to help.



And the tanks advance. ...Plus Ludmilla, without any cargo.



Yes, I'm not sure what Olaf was thinking. She'll go pick Eduard/Peter up in a bit.

I would. Capturing the HQ is going to be less of a hassle than killing everything on the map.



The infantry almost gets the property, but not quite. He'll regret that next turn.



Oh, the mech goes for Ludmilla. She's an APC, she'll surviv- wait. She's not Michael.

No, she isn't. Which means she won't come back if she dies. And-



Holy shit.

"Hey, gents, I only like to be treated rough after hours!" Ludmilla says, gritting her teeth as the powerful blasts rock her APC. "Right now, give me some respect, OK?"

"Ludmilla! You OK?" says Anton.

"Yeah, sweetie, don't worry." Ludmilla replies.

"Get back. We'll take care of this; go pick up Peter and Eduard and catch up once we've eradicated the foe." Dimitri orders. Ludmilla nods.



Oh, look, another infantry has decided to go after Valentin.

Without his healing, though, this infantry is an actual threat to our poor rocketeer.





First things first, though, the northern area needs dealing with. Mark opens proceedings with some artillery fire.



And Ivan can very easily finish him off.



He's not the only troublesome infantry, though. Diana goes after the one on the mountains, just out of range of the enemy artillery.



Valentin retreats to a better position - from here, he threatens most of the west side of the map.



Anton enters the recently vacated forest, providing room for Mikhail to attack the infantry.



Sheesh. Zlata basically destroys the APC.



True, but that allows Boris to fill the empty slot and punch a tank.



He seems like the kind of guy that would actively punch a tank, to be honest. He's got BDE.



That means Big Dave Energy.

I didn't ask.



Though she was out of range of the artillery, this enemy mech attacks Diana, doing a surprising amount of damage.





In revenge, Valentin attacks the mech. They've proved to be some of the most threatening things on the map... somehow.



The rest of the tanks are on a murder spree, I see. First Mikhail goes for this luckless infantry.



Then Diana goes to finish off this infantry.

Well...



Aw, come on. That's unsatisfying.



Anton finishes off the enemy mech, at least?

I guess.



Eduard and Peter hop into Ludmilla once more, this time bound for the enemy HQ.

"Hey, boys." Ludmilla says, turning around from the driver's seat of the APC and leaning forward in a way that accentuates her chest. "You alright?"

"Holding up, just about." Eduard says. "I'll be better once this damn HQ falls and we can move on."

Peter nods. "Yes... this most tragic twisting of Olaf's hometown is a sad sight for any Blue Moon soldier."

"I know." Ludmilla says, turning back and preparing to drive off. "But that's why we're fighting - to stop this happening to other towns. Now, my APC's in rough shape, but I'll get you to the HQ. Just hold on tight."





Boris and Zlata make a start on the enemy's last-ditch defence.

You're up against two medium tanks, Lash. I'd just surrender at this point.



Especially with rocket support. This map is virtually done now.





Especially since we've reached the part of the battle where the enemy stops doing things.

I mean, she deployed more stuff. She just didn't attack anything.



Up above, Mark takes on the enemy infantry, allowing Diana to move in and block the infantry over the river.



Meanwhile, rockets continue to be the best.

God, they sure are.



However, Valentin is a bit damaged, so Anton decides to move closer to the action to provide even more ranged support.



Boris shoots things in the meantime, I take it.



Boris and Zlata certainly do shoot things. Lots of things. However, that part of the map is getting quite congested...



Well, at least it's relatively safe for Ludmilla to approach. We're not too many turns from victory, now.



Olaf adds insult to injury by using Blizzard.

Oh my god did he actually say 'ho ho ho'





Well, it's not a completely useless move. It should prevent the artillery from being too annoying.



The artillery isn't even a threat - it goes north again, to attack Diana.





Meanwhile, Valentin finishes off one foe...



And Anton, another one. That gives the tanks a bit more room to manoeuvre.



Quite. Zlata immediately guns for the enemy APC.



And Boris just runs this infantry over. It is a very one-sided battle.

Yeah, that's medium tanks for you.



Thus, this is the setup. Up north, things might get dire if the infantry attack too quickly, but otherwise, victory is near.





Mark should be fine, but it's annoying that the infantry's safely outside of his range now.



Troublesome, but once the HQ is captured, it won't matter anymore.





The rockets do their thing, I see.



As does Boris, by deleting this APC. Now Ludmilla has a path to the goal.



She's put in the work today, and most of it at 1 HP, too.





Ivan and Diana tag-team this infantry but don't quite get the kill.





Do you worst, Lash.



Wait I was being sarcastic



At least it isn't her Super CO Power.



Oh god Ivan



He was on a mountain, Commander. He was going to be fine.

I guess.



Plus, this is the last turn. Victory is close.





That recon might look troubling but there's few things that can stand up to two rocket hits.

Valentin's at half HP, though. It's still pretty impressive.



Mark fires on the enemy infantry, but the mech is going to be more troublesome. Luckily, Olaf takes advantage of their massive weakness.

A mech's weakness?



Their two movement.

Ah. Yeah, fair.





And with one last turn of absolutely nothing useful... we're done.



Props to Eduard and Peter. Got the map and the HQ.



Oh, well. I guess I’ll have to find someplace new to play. Toodles!

This is it. This is where my house used to be.

Commander...

You called?

And over there, that was the town square. I played here all day with the other kids in the neighborhood. It didn’t matter how much snow was on the ground. It didn’t bother us at all. Look, right here… can you see the outlines of the square?

Olaf...

Black Hole! For this, there can be no forgiveness!

I must admit, I feel for the guy. It can't be good, seeing your home destroyed like this.



How the hell did he get 90 points for speed? That took TWENTY-SIX DAYS.

It was predicted to be a long battle, evidently.



Good for you, buddy. I almost respect you.





Now we have an additional mission available. So... the audience already knows what's next.

Mrs Claus, the baby, or for the lab mission: ATLAS, P-Body or Wheatley, then?

Quite a number of options. Anyway, let's get on with your story, now.

Oh, this is my favourite bit. So we were watching the best film ever made, Gurren Lagann...

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Part 10 Additional