Part 35: Hopper Rouley And The Lack Of Pattern Recognition SkillsHopper Rouley And The Lack Of Pattern Recognition Skills
When we last left Hopper, we learned he was some kind of demon that murders mentally ill people to steal their bodies. We also learned he used to work for an evil god that literally ate children in such a way that it horrified a Reaper.
Unfortunately I'm gonna see this game to its end for you goons.
: At some point, you doze off. What comes next feels like a vivid dream, though you still see the same window-lit room and the old, but spry woman. She opens the door smiling, and nods in satisfaction.
Remember, we traded Amma our Child Murder Anti-Reaper Knife for this.
So this guy is probably supposed to be sympathetic, but we just learned we was gung-ho about murdering children for power.
Remember, he also hung around with Gleda a lot.
: After hearing these words, you finally realize that you're awake and come to your senses. A quick look-around and you know that someone's sorcery is at work here. Realizing you've been hexed, you scramble to get your bag. The book is gone.
: My apologies, but I haven't seen any hag on the inn stairs. I've arrived after the spell dissipated. Where are you off to, Blance? And not alone, I see. Been accepted into royal service, have you?
: Well, you haven't strayed so far from home by happenstance either, have you, Chirlan? You don't simply travel for the sake of it, do you? You rarely step outside your shop, especially in Reaptime.
: Who is she?
: Who knows? Although I've got a hunch she might be the Unda everyone's talking about. But something's off. Unda's so old, it's surprising she still lives. It's as if this hag only pretends to be Unda.
SHE HAS GOLDEN EYES! Seriously, I don't think that's ever come up in dialogue. It's what makes Ake noticing the black eyes so weird - did he not realize Hopper had weird eyes and was being evasive about his abilities? Did the artists just...not talk to the writers?
: You should be well aware that a name is only a garment. Take it off, if you will, and it loses all meaning. I've been considering this from all angles. All those who could be this crone died in that same battle which gave you your arrow-scars. And I've got no more ideas. No clues.
: Why do you need me, Chirlan?
: You should already know this. Some witch told me I could find you in these lands. And that you, too, searched for me. Should that fail, catastrophe may follow.
Remember the stupid logic puzzle wizard who disappeared to give us the name "Chirlan"? It's like this is all the work of the same witch and the gears are grinding and these characters can't figure it out. The curse is connected to the Reaping, the book the witch stole is about...the Reaping.
: Cut the mind games, Chirlan. My head aches even without adding your riddles. How does an old woman or witch compel you to look for someone? I don't recognize you!
The same way a witch made you sleep while she stole your shit?
It's clear the writers think that by establishing some deep mystery we're going to want to see this through to the end. We're supposed to figure out that Chila is doing things but not why, and that mystery is supposed to get us to the end of the game so we can discover what the plan is.
It doesn't work because I don't care about these characters and there's no hope in this game. It's just pointless misery all the way down.
: I hardly recognize myself, Blance. I've had so many thoughts lately. Got a job as an intendant at Opacum. Guided wagons through the Marsh road. I thought I'll keep quiet and survive the Reaping-but no, trouble found me again. From now on, we travel together.
: What power do you mean, Chirlan?
"It can't be child murder, because we tried that!"
: I've already realized that. A new player has joined the game. Coronzon is seriously concerned about that. Seems like she's the one who managed to hold back the Reaping!
: I don't care about that Coronzon scoundrel! And who knows if the Reaping is truly receding? What if she's not saving us, but seasoning us for the frying pan? There's something special about her! As if she holds some hidden threads... Or has some underlying scheme! Blance, I don't like it.
: Enough conjecture. I've got bigger problems.
: What a convoluted curse... Where'd you get this nasty thing? And why's it on your hand? What purpose? And why does it jitter? Is it... breathing?
: Still haven't lost your aptitude, huh, Chirlan? Got this nasty stuff in Albius. Just near your shop. Some cunning crone left it. Now I'm roaming Berkana, trying to piece together a spell to cure me, among other things.
: Well, let 'em. Why do you want to join me so badly, though? What's your aim?
: Shouldn't I be asking that question? Aren't you the one who's supposed to impart the key words to me? For which I came here all the way from Ursus? It all led to you!
: That's true. Dunno what book that hag stole from you, but I've also seen her. Not just in real life-in dreams, too. She seared something into my hand in one of those dreams. It burns and won't subside unless you read it. Let me just roll up my sleeve...
So I just want to note that Rask connected all this shit to Chila unconsciously but Hopper is still acting like the woman who stole his book and the woman who cursed him are two different people.
: Ye gods! The writing's vanishing! Such a relief! What do these words mean, Blance? What are they?
: I don't know, Chirlan. Need to think this through. But I won't be staying in the inn. Can't say I'd be happy about absorbing anyone else's sorcery.
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: BITCH STOLE MY BOOK!
: No idea what you're talking about, but I did sense a lot of magic. I see you've gotten a real job instead of being a wandering Wizard Baron. Anyway an old witch sent me.
: Yea, though I think it's an alias. It can't be one of our child murdering friends, they all suicided in the intro. Who could she be...
: Who cares? It's not like she shares the first 4 letters of her name with one of the Reapers or anything. Anyway, I was cursed, and I bet it was a TOTALLY DIFFERENT old witch with no connection to the Reaping at all. Sure, this curse is messing with the Reaping and Chila stole a book about the Reaping, but it's probably TOTALLY UNRELATED!
: Uh...yea....sure...anyway, I'm joining your party. I won't fight though, you seem to have this covered with your OP Flame Blade attack. Oh, and keep absorbing the Reaping. Why Chila can't just tell you this shit herself is beyond me.
: Just remember, we gotta use our fake names so the Illuminati won't find us!
: You don't have to introduce Rask to your companions. They know the shopkeeper from Albius. However, everyone is surprised to find him in the middle of nowhere-and more so, that he's going to accompany you from now on.
Oh boy, more cryptic magic bullshit!
: Thorn Brenin's daughter was waiting for him when he arrived here. Me too. It was the old woman who brought his daughter here, after all. There was also Philia - a girl from Ursis. I was asked to watch Gleda until Thorn comes. I know her from my time in Albius. Headstrong girl, that one!
: So, Philia headed to Opacum and the old woman decided to cross the marshes. I was sure I'd never see her again, but when Thorn headed west with his daughter, that damned hag came to me in a dream.
: She drew this damn thing on my hand and said something cryptic. I figured that there was no point trying to comprehend the message, only that I must relay it to you.
: What did she tell you? And why do you think I'm the recipient of the message?
: That's not much to go on... Is that it? Was there at least another word? Must I solve riddles again?
: Well, life's one big riddle. She also said I need to accompany you. I'm asking, what did I do to deserve this? And she dismissed it, saying "the real trial lies in Friga." Or somewhere nearby. And that it spells certain doom for you.
Gee, maybe the child murder?
: The witch who is TOTALLY NOT CHILA gave me more dumb riddles to tell you.
: What makes you think it's for me?
: Who else in this dumb game is stuck with these riddles? Anyway, go west and look for bad guys.
: What did I ever do to deserve this, aside from the child murder I enthusiastically participated in and then decided to not even stand against the Reapers?
: Beats me. We're fucked!
Oh my god, really? "As if you were late to a meeting?" That's more of a modern concept but it's laughable bad.
Hey, at least I missed any major grammar and spelling mistakes in these last two updates!
Next time we go back to the worst characters in the game!