Part 46: Eclipse
(Congrats on not setting any demons free this time.)
(Not talking to you.)
(Not that I ever did.)
(You're on probation, is what I mean.)
Neaki. Before you get too abusive, there are a few things you should hear.
I remember well enough. Shall I tell her?
If you wouldn't mind.
...so. With all that said, could we perhaps keep the vitriol contained for now?
(Like you'd have translated it in the first place.)
(Whatever. That sucks. People suck. Hoped you wouldn't have to find that out, but...)
She's sorry you had to go through that.
Is something the matter?
This is called an eclipse. It happens when the moon moves between the sun and the earth.
It's a natural occurrence. Very rare. I know it must be unnerving, but it's nothing to worry about.
(Yes it is.)
(Ur. Tell him the truth. You know exactly what this is.)
What's she saying?
(Don't you do this! I'm talking here! Tell him what I said!)
She's talking to me. Nothing you need to hear.
Hey. Um. This'll either sound stupid or insane, but did you see the sun go out?
Thank god. Wasn't ready to go crazy hermit just yet.
Something to do with the moon. Or so I hear.
Are you busy right now?
Yes. Very busy. You know how it is. So much to be getting on with. In my treehouse. In the forest. Away from everyone.
what do you want
I think I know where we're going. The cliff, right? Near where the dwarves live?
Uh, sorry. Shouldn't have said anything.
Never mind, then. Let's just go back.
Hey, it's not like I'm tired of it. Besides, we've been walking this long. Might as well see it through.
...it's only been a minute.
Never gets old.
Did we come here for a reason? Or did you just want to show me?
Do you still want to hear what I've been writing?
Well. Just thought this'd be a good place for it.
Don't laugh. If you laugh, I'm stopping.
"I know I'm not the best person. I haven't..."
"I haven't always done the right thing. I can't even say I've always tried to. And when I think about everything that's happened, I wonder how much I deserved."
"Sometimes I say 'none of it'. Everybody makes mistakes. That doesn't mean they should have to go through this. But other times, when I'm very sad, I think maybe I deserved worse. And when I start thinking that, it's hard not to give up. Just lie down and let it all happen."
"Then I remember this."
"I always say to myself, 'Go back. There's something incredible here and you're missing it.' Never enough chances, though. Always something else to do. Always another problem."
Crisis. Another crisis. That sounds better.
"But if you wonder about the bad things, you have to wonder about the good too. And when you want to experience something so amazing and beautiful, you end up asking the same question. Do I deserve this?"
"I can't answer that. But even if I don't, there are people who do."
"So whether I deserve it or not, I have to come back to it. Then I can make sure it's there. Keep it safe. Just as it is. Because there's no way I could ever, ever improve it."
"And I don't intend to try."
I'm...not sure I get it. You're talking about this place, right? The cliff? What do you mean you need to make sure it's there?
Sit down. There's something I need to tell you.
For what it's worth, I think that was the right decision.
I hope so.
Now it's your turn.
I know why the sun disappeared. It isn't "nothing." It looked just like that in the dreams.
I was attacked before I got the book back. One of Kullervo's monsters. He said you could all lie about anything you wanted, and I'd never know. And it's true, isn't it? There's only so much I can figure out myself. I have to take your word on everything else.
So. I told Lauca the truth. Now I want you to tell me. Is there anything else you're not being honest about?
That question has no merit. If we were deceiving you, we'd deny it. If we weren't, we'd deny it. What you're really asking is "Do I trust you?"
That's for you to answer. Not us.
(God, you're stupid.)
(He asks you if we're lying to him, and you explain why it's a pointless question. Like he's an idiot. Like he doesn't already get that. Did it even cross your mind that he just wanted to hear you say no? That maybe that would be enough?)
(He does trust us. That's why he asked. And he can trust us, and he should. We are not manipulating you, Yumil. We would not do that, ever.)
(Tell him. I can't.)
Thank you. For saying that.
(How do you...you understood me?)
I think. I'm just guessing.
Maybe I'm wrong. If this all sounds like nonsense to you, it's because I'm replying to something you didn't say. But I think I'm right. So even if it's just this once, I heard you. And thanks.
Don't silence her like that again, Ur. I need to know what she's saying, whether it's good or bad. She has the right to a voice.
...yes. She does.
Er, nothing. I think she's genuinely speechless this time.
(Shut up. Both of you. Just shut up.)
(Giving me a headache.)
Are you okay?
I have to.
Look. I'm still not sure I believe any of this. I don't think you're lying, but you could just be wrong. But if you're really, really convinced, you need to do something for me.
I've been here for a while. In my treehouse. In the forest. Away from everyone. You see enough fights, enough of the stupid crap people do, and you get sick of them.
I dunno if I'm ready to go back yet. I dunno who'd have me even if I was. But still. You can only have so much alone time before you get sick of that too.
I'm lonely. Don't let me die that way.
I'll be here when it happens. I promise.
"Promise." Now there's a big word. Big, heavy word. You'd better know what you're doing, waving a word like that around. Otherwise someone could get hurt.
One chance to take it back. Just give me a maybe. Or "I'll do my best."
I'll see you later, then. Go on.