Part 23: Trial in the Catacombs

: Alright. I’m going in.

: I’m coming too.

: No. I need you to get out of here. Go find the police. Royal guard. Anyone. I'll stall for time.



: O-okay. I’ll go get help.

: Do you have any last words. (sic for lack of question mark)







: He's right. This is a terrible trial. There's no evidence. No defense. No examination of the facts. You’ve dragged a man off the streets and decided his fate based purely on your own prejudices and whims.

: Who the cluck does this bird brain think he is?

: I am this man's defense attorney. I am Jayjay Falcon.

: Jayjay... What are you doing?

: Defense attorney? You’re a ravin' looney is what you are!



: Everyone, please, hear me out.



: Monsieur Fontaine, we've only met on a couple of occasions, but you seem like an intelligent and reasonable person.

: Why, thank you. I do consider myself to be reasonable.

: Then surely you can see something wrong with dragging someone off the streets and executing them without trial?

: Well... I want to see a better France, monsieur. A France with actual liberty for all. I don't enjoy violence, but I have no qualms with a traitor or two dying to achieve that noble goal. Means to an end, you know.



: For the good of France, and in the name of justice, he must be killed.

: Justice... there's that word again...

: Madame, I won't presume to know who you are or what you stand for. But shooting this man right now would not bring you justice. It would only serve to satisfy your desire for revenge.

: Justice... revenge... what's the difference?



: Rationality, madame. Justice is carried out on the basis of hard facts and logic. It isn't distracted by petty emotions.

: Even putting aside my emotions, I can see this bird's guilt.

: Then this is your opportunity to prove it, madame. Show that you're a leader who acts with reason, not brute irrationality.

: ...



: ... Fine, Falcon. We'll play this your way. We shall have a formal trial for the murder of the Croc-monsieur.

: Excellent. Shall we head back to my office and file the necessary papers?

: Don't take me for a fool. You'll walk us right into a trap. We shall have the trial right here and now.

: Right here? In the catacombs?

: It's as good a place as any. I suppose we'll be needing a judge...



: No thanks, Pierro. We’re trying to form a courtroom, not a circus.

: Aww.

: Just... go see how the security is doing, Pierro. We don't want any more spies wandering in.



: Perhaps I can help, madame. You know that I’m a pious man, after all.

: Okay, Remus. You can be our judge. And I will lead the prosecution.

: What about the jury? With due respect, I don't trust your peers to be impartial.

: Look around you. As we speak, we are being watched and judged by countless dead men and women. They shall be our jury.

: That may work as a metaphor, but in practical terms-



: After all, I am the one who holds the gun.

Catacombs (listen to this)

: Well, it looks like we are ready to get started. Ahem. The trial of Séverin Cocorico is underway. He stands accused of the murder of the man known as the Croc-monsieur in cold blood. Madame Beaumort, please explain the details of what happened.

: Very well. Last night, at the stroke of midnight, two gunshots were heard on the Rue des Marmousets. Pierro alerted us, and we managed to arrive before the police did. On the scene, I saw the man known as the Croc-Monsieur, a good friend of ours, lying in a pool of his own blood. Standing over the body, I saw the murderer, Séverin Cocorico, still clutching his murder weapon.

: Am I to understand that you did not witness the crime first-hand, madame? That you only saw the aftermath?

: Yes. But one of us did happen to see the incident itself...



: I am no pigeon, monsieur!

: He's a spy in any case. What say I execute ’im right now?



: He’s my assistant. He carries my bags and stuff.

: Falcon, I trust that you do not have any other assistants lurking around the corner.

: No, madame.

: Then take your lackey out of my sight.





: (What is it?)

: (I saw someone lurking in the catacombs. I think he was watching us from the shadows.)

: (Another rebel?)

: (I don’t know.)



: What's this? A political pamphlet?

{[Cult Pamphlet]} has been added to your evidence folder.

: Well, I best be getting back to the patrols then.

: Not so fast, Pierro. You witnessed the crime first-hand, did you not?

: I did, Ma'am!

: Then you can be our first witness. Go stand in the center.

: Okie dokie.



: That won't be necessary. We trust you.

: Just tell us what you saw last night, Pierro.

: Okie dokie. I saw it as plain as day. The Croc-Monsieur was just mindin’ his own business on Rue des Marmousets. When all of a sudden, this ‘ere brute of a rooster appeared with his gun in hand. BAM! The rooster fired. The croc slumped to the floor. Using the last of his strength, the Croc-Monsieur drew his own gun. BAM! The croc fired back.

: So, to clarify: Cocorico shot first?

: Yes, Ma’am. No question there.

: What happened next?

: Well, I knew you guys - Fontaine, Remus, and you, Madam - were only a stone’s throw away, at the cathedral, so I ran to get your help. We all arrived back on the scene maybe a minute after I ‘ad left it.



: ‘s nothin’, ma'am.

: You see, Falcon? Pierro is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen...

: True, that.

: ...But he is honest to a fault. I would trust his word with my own life.

: I don't doubt the man's honesty, madame. Nonetheless, I would like to cross-examine the witness.

: Cross-examine... what does that mean?

: I don't claim to be an expert of the law. That was always my brother’s role in the family.



: Actually, it means that I would like to make sure that Pierro's story holds up under scrutiny. Yes, I will be asking questions. But only questions that directly relate to the case at hand.

: Clearly a pointless stalling tactic, madame. Shall we put an end to the trial?

: ... No. We will let the bird have his little cross-examination. But I'm warning you, Falcon: don't mess with me.

: Don't mess with you?

: If I get the slightest inkling that you are rambling to stall for time, I will end this trial on the spot.



: Yeah. I get it.

Cross-Examination



: You claim that you saw the incident as “plain as day”?

: Yup. Plain as day.

: How’s your eyesight?

: S’alright. My peepers work just fine.

: That doesn't sound particularly convincing.

: I went hunting with Pierre once. He had no problem spotting boar at eighty meters. Quite often he would spot game even before I did.

: See! My eyes are fine.



: We came back empty handed.

: Me and my big mouth...



: Now, Pierro, you say that this incident took place on Rue des Marmousets. I don't doubt that you were there. But where, exactly, were you standing?

: Well, let's see... I came from across the river... and then turned on to the Rue Saint-Landry... So, yeah, I was standing abouts where Rue des Marmousets meets the Rue Saint-Landry. The crossroads.

: That's a pretty ordinary street, from what I remember. It's around a minute's walk from Notre-Dame Cathedral, if I recall correctly.

: Hmm.



: What were you doing there?

: Just passin’ through.

: Okay, but where were you headed? For example, did you have business at the Conciergerie? Or were you heading home from the cathedral?

: To be honest, monsieur, I don't think that's none of your business.



: Pierro, you say that Monsieur Cocorico fired first.

: Yup. The bird's expression was stone cold.

: Did it look like Séverin Cocorico was feeling threatened prior to the shooting?

: Threatened how?

: Well, did the Croc-Monsieur have his gun drawn?

: I don't think so. The croc drew his gun, but that was only after gettin' shot.

: I see what you're trying to argue, Falcon. You think that this may have been a self-defense killing. It’s a fruitless line of reasoning. The cockerel approached the crocodile. He is the one responsible for the encounter.

: Still...



: You'll have to focus on the facts of the case. Find an inconsistency and prove them wrong!

: You’re right. Let's try a different strategy. With respect, Pierro, I don't believe you. Séverin Cocorico is not the type of person to shoot a man in cold blood. It’s not in his nature.

: His nature? His nature?! I've seen this bird's true nature, Falcon. He pretends to be virtuous, but inside he is a twisted, murderous piece of filth.

: ...

: Do you seriously want to stand there and lecture me about what a good person this man is?



: You say that the Croc-Monsieur drew his gun and fired back with the last of his strength.

: Yup. BAM!

: So you claim that Cocorico fired his gun, and then the Croc-Monsieur fired back. But is it possible that there was a third gunshot?

: I wasn't countin' or nothin', but nah, I think I would have heard a third gunshot, if there was one.

: I see. But what if-

: Don't try to claim that there was a hidden sniper upon a rooftop or any similar drivel, Falcon. None of us have the patience for that sort of yarn-spinning.



: Did the bullets hit Cocorico?

: No. He was uninjured at the time of capture.

: Well, he looks pretty injured right now...

: He took quite a beating. What of it?



: Sic for "despicible".



: Pierro, I would like to remind you that this crime occurred around midnight. In February. On an overcast, moonless night. In an unlit alley.

: What’s your point?



: It would have been dark. So dark, that you could not possibly have correctly identified the people involved!

: Hey! I swear I saw what I saw!

: Hold on, Falcon. You slipped up. You say that the alley was unlit, but I distinctly recall there being lanterns over Rue des Marmousets.

: Oh! That's right, that's right!



: You're right, Madame Beaumort. There are street lanterns over Rue des Marmousets. But they wouldn't have been any good.



Catacombs

: The street lamps over Rue des Marmousets were broken! They are completely non-functional. As proof, I present the glass shards that line the alleyway. These shards originate from the panes of the broken lamps.



: Those glass shards could have come from anywhere.

: You could send one of your underlings to see the broken lamps for themselves, if you want.

: And waste more time? I think not. This sounds like a stalling tactic.

: Excuse me, Madame Beaumort. I don't remember whether the street lamps were or were not broken, but I do remember that we had to use a torch to light up the scene.



: I’m just saying, Falcon might be right. It was particularly dark, so it's possible that there weren't any lit street lamps.

: Are you sayin’ I’m a liar? I thought we were buddies!

: Stop quibbling, both of you. Maybe the lamps were broken. Maybe they weren't. It doesn't matter. I know that Pierro's testimony is accurate because I, personally, saw the rooster at the crime scene one minute after Pierro did.

: One minute! That’s plenty of time for the real murderer to escape and for a passerby to stumble upon the scene, is it not?

: ...

: You must acknowledge that it is a possibility.

: I acknowledge nothing.

: There is an inkling of doubt. You know that there is the slight notion that Pierro may be misremembering what he saw.



: I'm not even a badger I wasn’t badgering-

: Onto the next witness! Madame Beaumort, do you have anyone in mind?

: I do. There is someone among us who is something of a gun connoisseur. A man who knows everything there is to know about the craft of weaponry.

: Oh, that's me again!

: Shut up, Pierro. Get off the stand.



: I call Fontaine forward.