Part 21: Chapter Twenty

Update Twenty



GeekTheMage: Yeah, that's a little of what I like to call "foreshadowing."



Al: Have you installed the "mod" yet, King REoL?
King REoL: "Yes," I "have" "installed" the "mod."

Having trust issues with REoL, not gonna lie.









GeekTheMage: A flying Xbox...
OMGWTFBBQ: How? How do they have enough power?
GeekTheMage: I don't know! They shouldn't! That thing can't possibly reach escape velocity!
OMGWTFBBQ: So it'll come back down eventually...
GeekTheMage: And crack the planet up like a walnut!
OMGWTFBBQ: Nooo!

See the joke here is that Xbox's are pretty big.



So anyways we can go to the Flying Xbox whenever we want, but we have some shit to take care of first.







I did this before it was requested and I have no idea why. I don't have Fistgrrl use dances usually. I think it's just force of habit.

Next up...





Nope.



Nope.



No-

MikeJ: You probably want to stick your cock in that too, huh?!
MikeG: Not so loud!
MikeJ: My nipples are slowly erecting in anticipation!
MikeG: I've never been more confused
MikeG: 500000 bux!



Considering my party has about 7,200,000 bux, this is a stupid response.

MikeJ: Oh fuck I'm so hard
MikeG: And the rest of the boy scout troop is there too!
MikeJ: Yahoo! Yippy!!!

I have no idea what the fuck but ANYWAYS





So we now have Spike...



and Cobra.



With that done, there's no reason not to go to the Xbox.

X JAKK: Every day is sunny when you're a sex offender!
X JAKK: Pick 3 doodz to go on the mad suicide mission. The ohters can go fuck themselves.



Naturally.





I think we can handle it.

Something awful this way comes!

Oh hey, here's something else we can handle!



Hamburglar: What a coinkidink! Me too!

Commence smacking him around.

Hamburglar: Check out who I found hiding in the closet!



This friendly fellow is named Delphino.



He does nothing interesting but uses PELE.JPG to blow us away.



We fought this dude. And by fought I mean I mashed the Banhammer, Health and the Eye Gouge on frame-skip mode.



Oh hey, it's Isnoop again!

Isnoop: Damn King REoL! Full speed ahead!
Isnoop: Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Isnoop: Don't you make a mockery of my crockery!



Welcome back, old friend!



...though, I gotta say, your usefulness is starting to slip a little.



We found this for Jeddite, assuming we can find him under the mass of dust in the Blackjack.

Just before REoL and Al, we can jump down to the



...airship? Fuck that! Let's fight a Camel Spider!



CamelSpidr: The terror of Death's domain...
CamelSpidr: I am the Camel Spider...and I will eat your fucking face!

Like everything else thus far, he's not overly difficult.



Fine fuck you Isnoop.



Al: The day I'm not entertained by Cthulhu riding a huge shark is the day I put a bullet in my brain.

Fistgrrl decides to show up behind us.

Fistgrrl: Despite its name, peanut butter is not made from peanuts of butter, it is made from science.
Al: Oh boy, I can't wait to tell you AAALL about our evil plan!
Al: Oh yes, oh, give it to me!
Fistgrrl: Put that back in your pants you perv!



Al immobilizes us. With his dick, apparently.

Al: Good, the others are incapacitated and we can get down to blabbing!
King REoL: Explaining the evil plan would take too much time, so I've prepared a pamphlet.



Al: That bit where you use the RealDolls(tm) to supercharge the rocket boosters was pure genius!
Fistgrrl: Oh good, I thought you were here to take our pornography and sodomize our vast imaginations.
Fistgrrl: Such things would tempt me to strike you stealthily in the testicles. Like so.



I'm a goddamn gif EXPERT

King REoL: Oof...Bitch! Wheeze...ooh me sstomache...
King REoL: I...
King REoL: HATE...
King REoL: PIE!

ungh.

King REoL: With these RealDolls(tm), I'll finally gain control of the King's County Sheriff's office! The time has come for vengence!



King REoL: Vengence against...SOMETHINGAWFUL.COM!

And so, the ultimate plot comes out.

Don't get used to it.

Al: You never think about what I want!
King REoL: Shut up, woman!



Al: What about my vengence? Huh? Huh?
King REoL: Your vengence? Vengence against SomethingAwful is all that matters!
Al: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!
King REoL: I WISH YOU WOULD!

REoL starts chortling madly.

Al: Dude, it's not that funny...
Al: That's it! I'll drop you so fast, you fucking crater!
Al: Burnjira!!! Nuclear Death Blast!!!

Nothing happens.

Al: OMG trainer using fag!
Al: Melf's Acid Arrow!!
Al: Stop cheating you cockgoblin! Back off, I'm packing heat!



Al: Fuck you, wallhacking noob! Why you gotta cheat to make your e-penis feel big?
King REoL: This Xbox isn't big enough for the both of us! So, I am going to kill you now! Don't worry, you probably deserve it!
Al: Not big enough...? Nonsense!

Lighting strikes near them.

King REoL: Whoops!

It strikes again, barely missing REoL.



King REoL: Time to die, nerdboy! SMITE!!!
King REoL: SMITE SMITE SMITEY SMITE!!



Blam.

King REoL: SN1P3D! There can be only one! i.e. ME! There can only be ME!
Al: B-but...
King REoL: No b-buts! DIE REPLACEMENT FRIEND!



Later, Al. Fistgrrl runs up to REoL, who's standing near the RealDolls.

King REoL: Don't interrupt! I must reconfigure the RealDolls(tm) for maximum power!



Smack! After bitchslapping Fistgrrl, he starts moving around the dolls.

Fistgrrl: Putting them in naughty poses? You're MAD!





OUR HERO! He starts rearranging the RealDolls.

King REoL: You fucking moron!



Isnoop: It's losing power! You'd better bail before it crashes!
King REoL: If I'm going down you're coming with me, chump!

We get blown off to the lower level.

Isnoop...why the hell did you go and do that?



There are unimportant dudes to fight down here but that's not important.



The important thing is that the dude-ship is waiting for us...



But we need to wait for Isnoop!



Isnoop: Don't worry, I'm the main character! I won't die!

















...way to go, ISnoop.




Next time: