Part 22: Chapter Twenty-One

Update Twenty-One



Welcome to the Solitary Island, which features a really poorly added new mass on its left side.



There's a seagull-ziegfried on the beach down here.



The shitty-ass house is unchanged.



Fistgrrl is sleeping away here, and Stuntcock is busy watching over her. Don't get used to him, because he'll be dead by the end of this update.



Fistgrrl decides to wake up.

Stuntcock: My lord! I've been waiting so long to ask you this!
Stuntcock: I saw this clip awhile ago where Michaelangelo and April have ridiculous sex
Stuntcock: (he is ridden down the stairs on his shell, he puts a nunchuck in her ass, you can imagine or remember the rest.)
Stuntcock: Now I've lost it. Does anyone have this clip?

I kinda want clarification on this, but on the other hand, I kinda don't.

Fistgrrl: Wait...I'm the bad guy? When did that happen?
Stuntcock: Sometime after you made a giant X-box fall on an orphanage on free kitten day.
Stuntcock: But I understand, Fistgrrl! It was brilliant! Those filthy children got what they deserved.
Fistgrrl: Dude, are you okay?
Stuntcock: I am more than OK! I am better than OK! I am OK TO THE MAX!



Stuntcock: I will become the greatest supervillain the world has ever seen!

I think Fistgrrl is already that, apparently.

Fistgrrl: What the fuck are you babbling about?
Stuntcock: You and me, Fisty. Together we can kill all the orphans and their kittens!
Fistgrrl: That's great, really...
Stuntcock: Now has come time to make a choice, Fistgrrl.
Stuntcock: I need fish!
Stuntcock: You must choose, Fistgrrl. The choice you make will set you free.
Stuntcock: It has you, Fistgrrl...

So now we have to catch fish or whatever



Fuck that let's go explore the new landmass.



OH GOD



I think he's mad about the whole Canada-murdering-him thing.

Anyways. Let's save Stuntstock. Temporarily. Because his days are numbered.

He's dead already. DEAD.



Stuntcock: The time has come, Fistgrrl, the time to show you the truth...



Stuntcock: The matrix has you, Fistgrrl. They are coming for you and I don't know what they are going to do.
Stuntcock: This place is not safe. You must run and find the others. Only then can you hope to escape the Matrix.



What a touching scene!



Too bad it's not canon!

Fistgrrl: Stuntcock...yo, earth to Stuntcock!
Fistgrrl: Oh shi
Fistgrrl: Oh geez oh geez oh geez what the fuck man this is not good.
Fistgrrl: OH SNAP, THAT CHILLED ME TO THE CORE! FUCK!





Fun fact: you can get into random battles if you leave the suicide hill after it directs you there.



Lowtax: At which point I proceeded to hump the American flag in a patriotic display of lusty liberty.
Fistgrrl: Everybody's dead...it's all my fault for breaking the planet. I fucking give up. My life has become unbearable through a chain of increasingly horrible events, and I'm going to kill myself.



SHE'S DEAD NOW.





Fistgrrl: I'm killing myself. I've had enough. I've had enough. Fuck you, world.

Oh wait, no she's not. Never mind.



I have no idea who The Yellow Yell is. He still posts apparently, in FYAD.

Fistgrrl: ...Yellow Yell? I thought...in the nuclear holocaust so many years ago...
The Yellow Yell: I told you I would come whenever you needed me, and come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid.
The Yellow Yell: Cheer up, you'll be back on your feet and stabbing small creatures like a raving loonie in no time! I promise.
The Yellow Yell: As for me, I am no longer of this world, and must depart. Good-goodbye.



Fistgrrl: Well, he'll be missed. But I think that we can all safely agree that he was, indeed, hardcore.

With that little interlude, we'd better go get rid of the body.



Stuntcock: Aww, don't feel bad for me. Me and The Yellow Yell are going to play cards with John Ritter and Rerun tonight.
Stuntcock: I have a boat down behind the stove if you want it.
Stuntcock: Come to think of it, you probably could have used it to go to the store and get me some goddamned food that wasn't horribly poisoned. Ah well. l8r sk8r. -Stuntcock



Wonderful. She gets on a boat and washes up on shore and goes to Albrook where goddamn nothing interesting happens.



Instead, she goes to Tzen.



Where apparently someone attacked an orphanage.



Welp.

Fistgrrl: Ozma...what the hell are you doing?
Ozma: Oh hey, Fistgrrl, thought you were dead...I'm just blowing up this here orphanage.
Fistgrrl: ...why?
Ozma: That little bastard in there took my shiny. Now he will pay. I'll talk to you guys later, C-4 doesn't remote detonate by itself.

Fistgrrl charges in...



Grabs the kid, and charges out.





It's a good thing I didn't input a moogle charm on all characters code or the tension would have gone right out of that scene.

Fistgrrl: Here's your fucking shiny, bitch.
Ozma: SHINY!
Fistgrrl: I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away - "miniature golf."
Ozma: Yeah, I'm really used to miniatrue things nowadays.





Goddamn, I get it already!



Next time: