Part 9: A perfectly orchestrated "Fuck You."

"Fuck You."

First, lets ignore the incredibly obvious foreshadowing the title set up, and talk about the city before we touch how poorly this Tower run went. The last place to explore is the Western Residential area. But first, last update I upgraded our old house and now it's time to show what it looks like..




Honestly, not much has changed, although it's about as big as any other house on the outside. The safe can now hold 30 items (which is good, because it's got like 13 things in it now, including Red sand for that elusive Gold Sword I keep talking about.


In the northwestern corner of the city is this guy's house. He keeps horses Nyuels as familiars. We haven't encountered Nyuels yet in the Tower, so I'm not going to say much about them other than they are a monster that is large enough to ride.
When we talk to one of the Nyuels, this happens...

You could get hurt by getting too close.
Whinny!
That horse is usually the hardest to please, but not with you.
: Scent of monsters works. || I wonder why?
You're a monster tamer? That must be it then.
: Is this your horse? || Is it a stray horse?
Yes, they are my horses. I used to have more, but now I only have four, including them. Ever since my son died fighting monsters, I've been alone. I can't handle too many by myself. I guess it's true that monster tamers understand the heart of a monster. In the old days I would take a horse that I brought up here to the Monster Race Course in the city of Haruka, and win lots of money with my son. Now that's not possible. With my leg in this state, I cannot endure the long journey. I love on the money I make from selling my horses to the Treasure Hunters. If only I had the money, I would rebuild this into a Monster Race Course, and then I'd be in business again. When that happens, I'll be happy to use you as a jockey from time to time. Is there something else you wanted?
: Nothing. || I'm building a race track!
Har, har, har, har. Yeah, that's the spirit. …... … you serious? It'll cost $30000.
: I don't have enough money. || Money is not a concern.
Didn't think so.
Gag, that's expensive. But it's worth it, because you can actually grind the Race Tracks to make some money. However, $30000 is a lot of money so I'm not going to build it without asking you goons first. All it does is make (or lose) us money, it's not needed for any of the girlfriends. Anyway, next house.


This screenshot is really bad, but there's a little kid in front of me that I'm talking to.
You can't proceed to higher levels until you've gone to the tower several times and increased the levels of your familiars. And don't feel rejected even if you're defeated, 'cause the levels of your familiars will not decrease.
Yup...that's pretty much how you get to the top. By that point you are no longer the power-house and you have to rely on monsters to do your dirty work for you. But for now, I can stand to be in combat.


Go home, Even if you stay, you're getting no free dinner. By the way, I hear you've started going to the tower. I don't believe you'll ever be like Guy, though.
Wow, what an ass. Once again, yet another rude adult in this city.
Oh, and I found out something interesting a few days ago. The Japanese word for "Aunt" also has the same connotations as calling a woman "Ma'am." I'm going to assume that's why so many women in the city are named Aunt, and (assuming the Japanese word for Uncle has the same connotations as "Sir") why so many of the men are named Uncle. But enough of this lesson that's completely based off once sentence I happened to read, onward to the next house!


You look in great shape! Ha ha ha! Give it your best shot!
At least this guy cheers me on.


You're making adults look bad. I knew, though, that this kind was going to be something else. Things at home also seem to be looking better; things are positive, aren't they Mamoru? Keep out of trouble, and good luck.
Yeah, the game keeps track of how high you go, and several NPCs change dialog based on that. At reaching the 10th floor, most of the hunters stop insulting you and will start taking you seriously. But the first time you talk to them, they still generally insult you. This woman seems to be an exception.
Next house!


Did you know that there is a monster that changes its appearance when it grows up?
This is true for several monsters actually. I looked, and it seems like all of the monsters that are hatched knowing a spell (like our Squirtle) will evolve to a new monster at level 20. If they recently ate a Leva fruit though, they'll stay the same, which is pointless because the new monster gets better stat gains if I remember correctly. Oh, this doesn't apply to Mic. Your Kewne will never change. Ever.


That actually concluded our Western Residential tour, but I want to go back to some of these buildings. For example, we also renovated the Clinic into a Hospital now.


: If you're a skilled doctor. || Yes, it's impressive.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Did you come to buy medicine?
And he just laughs in our face, and asks if we want Medicinal Herbs. They still cost $15, so I'm disappointed because I thought they were supposed to decrease. However, the real reason I upgrade the hopsital...


...a girl in a window.


When you try to talk to her, she throws her doll at you. It appears on the ground, and if you pick it up and hand it to her...
: Oh, Chappy! You picked him up for me, didn't you? Someone was peeking through the window. I was so surprised that I... my Chappy... Oh, my stuffed toy.
: I threw him up. I've been too scared to look outside since then, but I'm so glad... he's back. Hey, I'll get my mom to open the door for you, would you come in? I would like you to have a tea in return for getting my Chappy back.
: I guess I could come in. || I'm in a hurry... Later.


It's been years since she has been able to speak to someone around the same age as herself. She has been weak ever since birth. If time permits, please, make yourself at home.


: I'm Mamoru. || I don't want to tell you.
: Mamoru.... It's mamoru, right? This is Mamoru, Chuppie. This doll is Chuppie, and I'm Cherrl. (Wait, wasn't that doll Chappy a few minutes ago?)
: That's a cute name. || That's a beautiful name.
: Really? Oh, I haven't thanked you yet! Thank you very much. I mean it, really. Phew... I was so happy, I think I've exhausted myself.
: Phew...I think I'm tired.
By this point, the conversation ends as we leave Cherrl to let her take a nap. But as we try to leave...


I'm sure you noticed, but...that girl, she's pretty ill. According to the doctor, unless we can get our hands on this thing called the Healing Herb from the tower dungeon, her disease cannot be cured. Mr. Mamoru. Would you be willing to talk to her from time to time?
: I'd be happy to. || Sorry but...
Thank you so much.
I'll make no secret of it. Cherrl is my favorite out of all the girlfriends you can acquire. I think I have a soft spot for the "sick girl" archetype. But dammit, one thing this game certainly does is make you care about her. I'm going to stop by the Hospital again to talk to the doctor.


: I want some medicine. || No particular reason. || About Cherrl.
Oh, that girl... Her immune system has been weak since birth. I've done everything I could, and as a result, well, her condition has stabilized. However, she won't be able to leave her bed for the rest of her life. If we only could get our hands on the Healing Herb, we could completely heal Cherrl. I really can't do more than I've already done. It's a shame.
Alright. Guess we're going to have to get that Healing Herb ourselves. It's rather high up in the tower though, so we're not going to reach it for a long time.


: Hey Mamoru! Are you going to donate? Yeah, we've done it, Mamoru is the first doner. Thank you Mamoru!
You're then given four options, $0, $1, $100, or $1000. We're right, so I go for $1000. Then Ghosh shows up...
: Nico Southey. Here I am. I, Ghosh Rode, have come to you. By the way, did this dummy make a donation for the fountain?
: He donated $1000.
: Well then, I shall donate [1000 +1].
: Wow. Thank you.
: Well, will you excuse me, Lady?
: H H he, he called me Lady...
: Where's the lady? || He probably meant doodley.
: Huh, stupid Mamoru. Hey, come on, you should be a little nicer.


Oddly enough, this time when I walk in, Ghosh is already there... But I ignore him and go straight for Patty. When she tells us to sit down, Ghosh yells at us.
: Don't sit so close to me. This wonderful taste will be ruined with your presence.
: Shut up. || Don't sit close to me too.
: Who are you telling to shut up! You need your mouth washed with soap!
Then Patty comes over to Mamoru, to stop their argument.
: Hi. You don't have to show off by having anything expensive, just have what you really want, okay?
Next on the menu is the Zuroro Cutlet ($70)
: If you want Zuroro, with yam grated into it, to keep the breaded coating on your cutlet firm, Kopee would be the chef to do it for you. This makes the breaded coating light and crispy, and will bring out the true taste of the meat.
: What you're having suits you better.
: You only consider the price. || Did you ever taste it?
: What!? Are you suggesting that I don't know what this tastes like!? What an insult!
But if I asked if he tasted it, he would say no anyway... Anyway, lets go check on his hot sister.


: Who's the barbarian? || You are so right.
: I heard the rumor from my brother Ghosh.
...on second thought, why was it a good idea to talk to her again? Anyway it's been a while since we went to the Temple, let's go check it out.


: So, what are you here for today.
: To build a better temple. || Nothing in particular.
: What did you say!? You're going to rebuild this temple!? That's wonderful! Bless your heart! It is a fact that this temple is becoming too small for its purposes. But to rebuild this would cost $4000. Do you have that kind of money?
: I'll give you $4000. || I haven't got that much.
: Well in that case, I shall gratefully accept. Mamoru. If you want to help this town, I'm sure people would be delighted if you could build places where the people could go to enjoy themselves. Let's see, for example, how about a [Bowling Center]? People can get together and have fun, that would be great to have.


Uhh...wow. I didn't know Bowling Alleys were this expensive. That's five time as much as the Theater. Oh, Expand 2 is the new house expansion, that costs even more. But it comes with its own swimming pool, how cool is that? But, it's not worth it, because we won't see any pretty girls in swimsuits there, only if we find the Water Medal.


With $5000 gone on donations to help this town pick itself up out of the culture-less gutter, we proceed to the Tower. I'm bringing four familiars with me, all to be fused into Blue October. The Leva fruit will let Blue October absorb Wendy.

Floor 1


First we learn DeHeal...


...transfer it over...


...keep Blue October static...


...and finish it off with...


...sending the Trait over as well. Now Blue October will last twice as long in the tower now.


ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I only got to kill 1 troll on the way here, and Blue October did that for me anyway.
(Oh, Blue October hit a frog trap. No big deal.)

Floor 2


No, I am not fighting Ghosh like this. I don't have any items at all. The first item I saw was that orb in the corner of the room with the Go-Up trap that was even stuck behind the river I had to walk around.

Floor 2


Well, this sucks even more! Two very powerful wind based enemies, and I'm empty handed and Blue October's going to deal less damage and take more because of its Water-Genus. Oh, that sword in the corner? I try to go for it, but a Cyclone steps on a Bomb trap (dealing a huge amount of damage to both Cyclones and a little bit to Blue October) and it destroys the swords as well. DAMMIT.


And at this point I realize that I accidently left Blue October on "Chase Enemies" mode, so he strolls off to nom a Pulunpa leaving me defenseless. Thanks a lot buddy.


Oh thank you Random Number God. Maybe you don't hate me after all.


...

Post LP note: Couldn't say it better myself.


Holy shit, this game knows how to torture me. First, it doesn't let me get ANY loot on the first floor. At all. Because of this I have to skip the second floor's medicinal herb because I don't want to lose to Ghosh, ever.
Then I reach the third floor, get in a very bad situation with two cyclones that gets even worse BECAUSE they activated the Bomb Trap destroying my new weapon. Then my familiar abandons me to go eat some pudding, and then I finally find the sword I've been waiting for...
Only to lose it to a Monster Den. But not just any Monster Den, a Monster Den I could have survived through the use of Snow Shoot IF I HAD MY FUCKING FAMILIAR WITH ME!
...I could not have orchestrated it better myself. If I hit another Go Up trap, I would have lost all hope for survival and this would have been lost on me. Instead, it gave me the one sword I've been waiting for and then tore it all away in a single instant.

END OF DAY! KILL COUNT FOR THE DAY!
: 1 Flame. 1 KILL TOTAL.
Defeated by a Troll (Hammer) via a FUCKING MONSTER DEN!

: 2 Pulunpas, 1 Cyclone. 3 KILLS TOTAL.
Snow Shoot Assists: 1 Cyclone. 1 KILL-ASSISTS TOTAL

~~~~~~~~~~~~


Wait...what? She doesn't dropkick me this morning? Is she...is she being nice? What the hell is wrong with her?
: That's for the donation the other day! Hey, I understand that you've sold all the tamed monsters your father left you to get by on living expenses, bu I also understand you're starting to run low on your funds. Then why did you make this donation?
: Cause you were enthusiastic. || I felt sorry for you. ||Because I'm fucking rich now.
: There are two types of people, those who make an effort to reach their dreams, and those who sit back and dream about their dreams. My personality doesn't allow me to stay still for long.
That's...surprisingly deep for Nico. Remember, this is the same tomboy girl who dropkicks up every morning (except this one). Maybe the fortune teller was right, maybe there is a bit of a lady in her.

Anyway, there's no loot to sell because we died in the Tower, so no visit to Fur. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to scold Blue October for running off and leaving me behind in a FUCKING MONSTER DEN.