Part 761: Let's Read: Main Event - Part 3
Let’s Read: Main Event (part 3)Chapter 3
Tara, Northwind
23 April 3054 (still)
Chapter 3 begins as Jeremiah is hailed by a woman (Dropship Captain McCloud of the same Dropship that Rose came in on). He immediately makes a crude sexual innuendo about her that’s only obvious if you’ve read ahead and know he’s been sleeping with her.
Main Event posted:
He was surprised at being hailed in the poor light, but he recognized the caller as someone who had known Rose in even dimmer surroundings.
Stay classy, Jeremiah.
Now, when I implied you’d need to ‘read ahead’ to understand that innuendo, I wasn’t implying you had to read very far. The next few paragraphs explicitly state that Rose and McCloud were “inseparable” during the three months it took her dropship to successfully make the two-week trip to Northwind.
She banters quietly and Rose is still pouty, so she asks if things went poorly at the assembly.
Main Event posted:
Rose stopped suddenly and looked down at her. Rachel McCloud was tall for a woman, but Rose easily towered above her. He rarely used his height to an advantage, but now he made an exception.
“You were obviously waiting for me and the Assembly has been over for two hours, so you tell me.” He turned to walk away, pulling McCloud’s hand off his arm.
Our fucking hero, ladies and gentlemen.
She then slaps him upside the head for being a douche and calls him a retard. Jeremiah tries to defend himself for all of… two seconds before realizing that yes, he is being a colossal. He then says that he will “try” to stop (he fails) instead of apologizing for his casual misogyny and treating the (future) mother of his children like dirt.
McCloud then asks how things went at the assembly again, and Jeremiah remembers that he forgot his suitcases and spends a paragraph thinking about it. Honestly, since all he owns are three identical jumpsuits and he clearly doesn’t wash them as often as he should, I don’t see how anyone will notice.
Jeremiah then says his dream of starting a ‘Mech unit has been dealt a deathblow, both in the assembly and in the meeting afterward. McCloud is surprised that another meeting occurred. It was a family meeting, in which Cornelius Rose, the patriarch of the Rose clan, implicitly forbade any member of the Rose family from joining Jeremiah.
Jeremiah Rose then calls his father a vindictive, spiteful asshole. Pot, kettle.
Anyway, we learn that 17 members of Rose’s extended family have told him to go fuck himself thanks to his father’s meddling. We then cut to Captain ‘Also Always Right (and the only one more right all the time then Jeremiah Rose)’ McCloud’s perspective for a few moments. She observes that Rose hasn’t really given up on his dream of
Main Event posted:
Then along came this MechWarrior who made her question her lonely way of life. Not that it was anything he ever said. His company was enough.
Euuuugh.
Rose then says that he’s going to see his sister, Rianna, since she wasn’t at the assembly or the family meeting and he might be able to
McCloud then remembers that the Family Meeting only took ten minutes, and Rose has been ‘missing’ for two hours. She asks where he was and he says he was in a ‘meeting’ with Colonel Stirling.
Main Event posted:
“How do you know the colonel?” Rose [asked] McCloud, who only shrugged.
“Just one of the people you hear about in my line of work. I believe the term is ‘larger than life.’”
“That sure sounds like her. There were times in the conversation when I swore I could hear her purr.”
That innuendo isn’t intentional, and that just makes it even more disturbing since Andrea “Cat” Stirling is one of the best Mechwarriors in the Inner Sphere. She’s basically the
McCloud then pulls a jealous girlfriend (which Rose is too
Jaffrey is also a genuinely likeable character who has actual character flaws beyond a possible case of brain damage.
Rose then re-reveals that his brother Danny was killed, but he’s ok with it now (he’s had a whole two hours to
Classy, Rose then takes McCloud to ‘dinner’ (by which I mean: a bar), then spends a paragraph wondering if she drinks.
Smooth.
Anyway, McCloud gets them a table and Jeremiah has difficulty navigating the crowd. Then, one of the Highlanders picks a bar-fight with Jeremiah. During this scene, we are treated to what is quite possibly the best line in the entire book.
Main Event posted:
“Is this guy [Rose] really that brave, or is he just stupid?” Rose and the three Highlanders all looked toward McCloud, who continued to stare straight ahead. […]
“I can’t say much about his courage.” She turned her head toward Rose […], “and as for brains, hell, this table top has a higher I.Q.”
Our hero’s girlfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Captain McCloud then breaks the hand of the drunk who’s been physically molesting her the whole time.
Rose ‘follows her lead’ and immediately breaks the leg of one of the other two drunks with a single kick. Now, this isn’t the first time the book mentions it, but I need to point out that Jeremiah Rose is gigantic. He’s very nearly seven feet tall (about 200 cm) and built like a weightlifter, which is pretty impressive considering the only regular exercise we’ll
His build is one of the reasons I hate him so much.
Anyway, his opponent “recovers quickly” from having his leg broken, so Jeremiah punches him in the stomach, suplexes him, and throws him across the room.
Main Event posted:
The Highlander slammed into the ground, his legs forming a clapboard that smashed his testicles and expelled what little air remained in his lungs.
Jeremiah Rose, figuratively emasculating one of the best mercenary units in the Inner Sphere.
Rose then curbstomps the guy he just threw across the room and dislocates his arm in the process; just because (he’s a dickhead).
One of the other Highlanders then hits Captain McCloud with a bottle. Rose then breaks up the fight by screaming like a retard.
Main Event posted:
In desperation, he yelled.
It was not the yell of a frightened or angry man. The single note was more like the release of an avenging spirit into the room. For an instant everyone in the bar stood motionless.
Heeeeey remember when I said Jeremiah Rose was a fucking SPACE MYSTIC? Well, this is his MAGICAL FUCKING POWER. Well, in this case, Jeremiah Rose just happens to be a
…
There is only one word to describe this, and I’m not going to say it. Y’all can make guesses if you want.
Rose then uses the moment of ‘WTF’ everyone in the bar is experiencing to beat the third guy stupid. Rose then asks if McCloud is ok (she’s bleeding), and she takes vengeance on the man who hit her with the bottle by kicking him a few times while he’s down and unconscious.
Anyway, the guy who’s hand McCloud broke returns to the narrative with a vengeance and threatens both of them with a needler pistol. Rose and McCloud are completely unarmored, which means if they get hit they’ll need medical attention immediately or they’ll very likely bleed to death in less than five minutes.
Main Event posted:
McCloud was stunned. “You provoke a fight, then threaten to kill us when we beat the snot out of you?”
The two decide not to try to fistfight a gun, and leave quietly. McCloud thanks Jeremiah for saving her life. Jeremiah protests, but McCloud insists she owes Jeremiah (this will be a running theme, like Misty’s Bike in the stupid Pokemon cartoon, only less endearing).
Rose then asks Jeremiah where he learned to yell like a retard. He explains that he was stationed on Luthien (bullshit) for years. McCloud then asks about the Kiai and Rose fills her ears (and my eyes) with bullshit. Rose says it’s the first time he’s ever tried using it in a fight, and McCloud comments that it’s the weirdest fucking thing she’s ever heard.
Then the chapter ends.