Part 834: Battlemechs are Awesome commercials sponsored by Defiance Industries - Manticore Heavy Tank

The Quickscell Company: Let's Do This Thing


When you think of quality, reliability, and innovation in the field of military hardware, you think of Defiance Industries.

Don't lie, we know you do.

Don't even lie to us.

We also know that ain't no way in hell your ass can afford that DI shit. You ain't no house regulars, you ain't no "17th Armored Bullshit Battalion", you some broke-ass backwater militia motherfuckers, pirates all rolling up on your shit with a one-armed Rifleman and y'all pissin on y'all selves like the most scandalous of bitches. DI ain't sellin shit to you. Hell, if we had any reputation to maintain, we ain't be sellin shit to you, neither.

We Quickscell, though. Ain't got no reputation to maintain, so let's do this thing.



Manticore, motherfucker! Fusion engine! PPC! I could go on about missiles and lasers and shit but I'm gonna stop right here, cuz' I see you already talking to your people, trying to see how many tons of space potatoes and space cows and space bootleg sneakers you can scrape together to trade for this shit right here. Well, don't think too hard, now, because we already got a deal.

You heard me. We got you. Let's do this thing. Just don't come bitchin at us when that fusion engine runs outta diesel or that PPC jams on a shell casing or your boy can't fit his fat self in that little-ass laser turret above the tread. That ain't even our fault he fat.

You want product support? You want spare parts and extended warranties and shit? You want a company with a fixed address? You best call DI.

We Quickscell. You get what you pay for, and y'all ain't paid for shit.