Part 8: Tager: Story 02

Hmm... The scenery here looks different...

So, this is Ronin-gai... I hear a lot of Ikaruga citizens look refuge here after the war.

Kokonoe is trying to contact me. I don't think the reception is very good in this part of the city, but... If I don't pick up...I take out the communicator.

This is Tager. What's the matter?
There was a big ol' spike in your brainwaves. I didn't know the Red Devil was so sentimental.
If this sensation is called "sentimental", then I suppose you're right.
I thought your memories of the Ikaruga civil war had been--..Huh. Well, I guess there were a few cells still alive in there. The end of the war was a damn nightmare. The Library decided to use Ikaruga as a testing ground for new weapons. Poor bastards didn't even have an army to fight back with.
Ha! Guess it's a little hypocritical of me to criticize their tests when I've got no problem experimenting on the human body.
No. An experiment conducted on an individual and one conducted on a crowd are completely different... You can't treat them the same.
What the hell is this? I don't need emotional support from you.
I didn't mean it that way. I was just talking about general Machiavellian theory.
Really? Wow. Well, this conversation has just become a waste of my time. I'm gonna hang up now, you just get cracking on the next setup.
To be fair, this is how most people feel about general Machiavellian theory.
Roger. Now. I believe the next one is that way.
Tager literally exists just to get shit on by everyone else.
Stay where you are, weirdo!
"Weirdo"? Are you talking about me?


Look at this guy. Come on. Look at those pants.

Indeed! I am Bang Shishigami! The vigilante who fights in the name of love and justice!
...What do you want from me, vigilante? I don't recall having a price-tag on my head...
Heheheheh. It's becoming all too clear to me...That conspicuous attire of yours... I can tell you're the kind of guy who's gonna break the law...
What are you talking about? I must admit, that's one helluv'an accusation...
Hmph. It's best to nip crime in the bud... Let's cut the chatter. I'll make you regret ever confronting me...Bang Shishigami!
You leave me no choice! I must eliminate you by force!




Thanks to Elephantgun for being my guest and knowing stuff. Tager's Astral is called King of Tager, for those curious.

Also I should make a brief note on buffering for those who don't know things about fight games (WHAT'S UP ZUDAK). 720/1080 motion on a stick/controller obviously requires you to be pressing up at some point during the input. This means you'll jump out of that cool move you were trying to do. So you're forced to do a move before it (jump, regular attack, etc), and do your 720/1080 motion during the animation of the previous move. This is why a standing 720 is really hard.



Target eliminated. Time to move to the next location.
...Not yet. It's not over yet. ...You're way off if you think you've beaten me.
You're pathetic. Just admit that you lost.
Can you still say that after seeing this!?


GOKU UES THE SPRIT BOMBB

Hm. His body is glowing...what is this?
In the name of justice, peace, and love! I will unleash my ultimate move--Super mooooode!
H-He's fast!
Hahahahaha! Can you keep up with my moves!?



Impossible! My sensors can't even keep up!
I call it "god speed"! Witness the true power of an Ikaruga ninja!
I can't even put up a fight...



And once again, the day is saved! I told you... Justice never sleeps...Hahahahahahahaha!

I pull out my communicator, although with the damage to my arms, it takes a
bit. The moment I turn it on, I can tell Kokonoe's excited about something.

All right, Tager, you'll be able to move once your automated repair has fixed up all that damage. Why don't you head on back?

What about the remaining device setups?
Let's put it on hold for now. Something else's come up. Much more important.

I don't know what she's thinking, but I don't have a choice. This body belongs to her, after all.

Understood. I'll return once the automatic repair is complete.



Kokonoe made a few adjustments to my body after my battle with Bang Shishigami. That was only a few days ago, but I guess she thinks I'm ready for active duty. I've been sent to the Kaka clan's village on a new mission...



Stay where you are, weirdo! Stop where you are, cyborg!

I'd heard this voice before. I'd hoped I wouldn't have to hear it again. I turned around to face him.



So you had to come back for another beating...? I, Bang Shishigami, will bring justice, once again!
...Why do you always jump to conclusions? Just listen--
I will hear nothing from a villain! Hmph, there's no need to hold back...Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!



Listen to me!
Talk to the hand, girlfriend...! For I am Bang Shishigami! Just give up already! Hahahahaha! There's nothing you can do!

I hate to admit it, but he's right. His combat ability exceeds mine, without a doubt. If I don't do something, I'm going to lose again...

Suddenly, Kokonoe's voice crackles through my communicator.

Can you hear me, Tager? It's time for you to unleash your true power!
True power? If I had anything like that, I would've--
It's just a button away.

The words are barely out of her mouth when my body starts to glow with a strange golden light. It's just like the golden glow Bang is giving off. Oh, God...
wait what

Hm! D-Don't tell me, you have a "super mode", too?

No, that's not it. I don't think Kokonoe would make anything as mundane as a "super mode". I...I think my body is...transforming.

H-How strange! Are you some kind of monster?

I want to tell him he's mistaken, but I can't seem to speak...

Metal wings appear out of nowhere and attach themselves to my back. I feel like a child's toy... Well, at least it can't get any worse. I hope...


WHAT

Super Beast Mode: Golden Tager making its grand entrance! Behold this majestic paragon of power!

My mouth moves and Kokonoe's voice comes out of it. I know I shouldn't be surprised. She must have had all this planned from the beginning. I...I feel so used.

All right, ninja! Time for you to get yours! I'm gonna show you the meaning of pain!
Ugh! Puff your chest as much as you want. That won't stop me. I'll make you eat dirt!
...Suit yourselves...
Here I come! Super--

Shut up, asshole!

Instead of finishing the ridiculous name of his attack, Bang lets out a grunt and flies across the room. Belatedly, I realize it's because my fist was somehow planted squarely in his face. I almost feel a little guilty...

Argh! Wh-What a coward! How dare you attack an opponent while they're calling out the name of their special attack!

He isn't happy about it, but he seems to have learned from the experience; his next attack isn't preceded by its name--not that it does him much good. He still can't hit me.

I can't help but feel a little sorry for him, but there is nothing I can do. I can't even control my own body. It's all KOkonoe, now. I keep telling myself it's not my fault...

It won't work! You can't penetrate this armor! Now it's our turn! Golden! Tager! Sun! Shine!

I watch helplessly as Kokonoe uses my body to somehow generate a massive ball of rippling plasma.

...Hey, Kokonoe, I think this might be going a little to far. If you miss, that's going to--

Spaaaaaaaark!

...And there it goes.

Too slow!

I have to give hm credit. He's fast. Fast enough to dodge Kokonoe's plasma ball, which careens into the wall of the Kaka clan's village. ...Oh, no.

KABOOM

It rips a huge hole through the wall and apparently damages the underlying structure as the walls start to collapse...I'm sorry, people of the Kaka clan. This is all Kokonoe's fault.

Wh-Wh-What is this!? God is mad!?
Eek! What happened to the wall!?
Waaaaaah, I'm scaaaaaaared!
The sky is falling! Run!

The entire village is in chaos. This isn't good. This is definitely not good. If this keeps up, they're just going to think I'm sort of evil giant.

Hah! Stupid ninja! If you'd just taken it like a man, this village wouldn't have had to see this! A dirty move, but I'd expect that from a ninja!



W-Was it my fault?
No, I don't think so. You were just dragged into it. You were just unlucky. We both were.
Don't dodge the next one! The village can't take another hit!
How dare you!? B-But one of those blasts could destroy the village...If I dodge this next attack, then...! Ugh! A true hero of justice would never put himself before the lives of innocent citizens!

If he can give up the idea of a head-to-head battle and just run away, it might save the village...No, I don't think he's capable of coming up with any sort of plan that doesn't involve punching things.

Here I come! Golden Tager... Tera-Judgment!

...And he decides to take my--I mean, Kokonoe's attack head-on. All that's left behind is a puff of dust as Bang flies off, tearing through the metal plate that supports the level above us. In just seconds he's nothing more than a speck on the horizon.

For a moment, the speck sparkles like a star, and then it's gone. ...There must be something wrong with my visual sensors. There's no way a human being just turns into a star...

Do not worry, people of the Kaka clan! The villain who broke that wall has been eliminated by the one...the only... Golden Tager!
Do you really think anybody will believe that?
Really!? Thank God!
All right! What a relief!
Hooray! The village is safe!
Heaven really does punish the wicked!

It sounds like they're buying it... They're all waving at me. I know it's none of my business, but sometimes I wonder how you guys manage to survive...

Goodbye, my brothers and sisters! There is other evil to be vanquished! ...Now I'll just press this button...



My body starts to change again. I'm so jaded by now that I barely even notice. Thanks goodness I'm too heavy to fly. I don't think I could take it if she had made some sort of--

Chaaaange! Tager! Flight mode!
Wait...! Now that's just taking it too far...
I'll see you around, people of the Kaka clan! Hahahahahahah! WEE!

My flight form compelte, I take off under Kokonoe's control, her maniacal laughter echoing across the Kaka clan's village as they wave good-bye to me. She cricles the village once or twice, and then I soar off into the sky.

... To hell with it.



I guess trying to break the sound barrier was a little more than it could handle.
... If will-power is all it takes to break the speed of sound... Bang might be able to travel faster than light without even transforming...!
Yeah, that ninja would make interesting test subject, wouldn't he? I got a feeling I could do a lot more with him than I did with you.

A lot more, huh... Just like Kokonoe to see him as a potential experiment instead of a human being. I shudder to think what "more" she would like to do to him...

I think I'd like to try this technique on Hakumen first, though...Let's call it Silver Hakumen. Silver samurai... Yes, yes...I'm gonna go get started on the design right now. Damn! I'm getting all excited, Tager!



...What is this feeling? I've not felt such a presence since... No, this is even greater than the Black Beast... I know not why, but I feel that I am in danger... great danger...



END OF UPDATE
So. Yeah. That's what happens if you've completed Tager's other endings, then go back and do a Distortion Finish on Bang. This is probably the longest joke ending in BlazBlue, and a pretty good example of what they look like! This and one other are the only ones I remember, and both of them are insane. Next time we'll actually continue Tager's real story.

BONUS
Tager concept art: