Part 34: Episode XXX: Homecoming
Music: Hydra's Swamp
Following the teleportation out from the Temporal Vortex, the party finds themselves smack n the middle of Hydra Marsh. Judging by the lack of poisonous miasma, I'd hazard a guess we're back in Home World.
"Yea... It's the craphole Hydra Marshes near where I live."
"Ah. So you do remember. Very good, Monsieur Lynx. We are in ze Hydra Marshes. Although I do not know if ze Hydra still existz."
"Nope. Hunt to extinction just the other day. Lead to a massive dwarven invasion of the Water Dragon's island and fairy genocide."
"Oh...ze faeries were responsible, non?"
"Nope. The dwarves were just kind of dickbags. But, they're all dead now too so whatever."
"Oh...ze faeries managed to defeat ze dwarves? Unexpected."
"Err...not exactly...they might have had a err...hand... Aaaaanyway... Nice to be out of that pastel nightmare."
"Ahhh... A world with substance... Even the water and air is different! This is great! It's time to pahr-tay! Let's have a toast to our return into the real world!"
"Sure, why not... After the day I've been having I could afford to get shitfaced... Cats can drink alcohol, right? I am going to FREAK if I can't drink anymore..."
"Listen, old lady... You are not getting any younger. Try to control your emotionz. And zere iz absolument no time to be partying! We must hurry along."
"Wot's your problem, lass? It's been yearz since I've been back to the real world. You sure are a buzz-kill. ...So anyway, where to now?"
"Do you still remember? Ze place where it all started... 'Where Angelz Lose Zeir Way'..."
"Yeah... Opassa Beach... How the hell do you know about that...?"
"I met ze prophet in Viper Manor. Zat old geezer would exposition mon earz off if I got within 50-meters of une bibliothèque."
"Where Angels...... WHATEVER! It has a bad ring to it. So wot exactly is it?"
"A gat to anodder world... Somet'ing like zat."
"Wot!? Are you sayin' there's another dimensional distortion in this world!? Hya-hya-hyah! Very interestin', indeed! So where is this place?"
"Leave zat up to Monsieur Lynx. Let'z just get going! But first, we must leave zis forest."
There is nothing barring the path in the Hydra Marshes. So it is just a straight shot back to Opassa Beach from there.
"Yeah, c'mon. It's right over here..."
"Just gotta pull out this amulet thingie from Kid and...presto!"
"Maybe I just gotta jiggle it a bit and..."
"Wot's wrong, Lynx? Don't tell me the dimensional gate won't open...!? HEH! You be in hot water now!"
"Har har har. Want me to shove your ass back in that wormhole, Yoda?"
"Now, wot good is it going to do in snappin' at me?"
"Zere iz not'ing we can do. You are now just an unwanted piece."
"Very interestin'... What are ya gonna do now, Lynx?"
"Screw this... I am going home... And I am taking a nap..."
"'ow about we go explain your situation to your movver? We may be able to find something out."
"My mover...? I'm not moving anywhere. I still live with my mother."
"Ya, your movver."
"Oh, you mean my 'mother'?"
"That's wot I said. Ya got wax in ya earz?"
"I hate my life..."
Music: Home Arni Village
Next stop, lovely Arni Village. Chrono Cross may be set in a fantasy world and all. But one thing never changes no matter the dimension you're in...
Racist old white people! Arni Village is no different, of course.
"Excusez-moi, geezer! What kind of attitude iz zat!? I will kick your derrière to ze moon, if you talk to mon Lynx comme ça!"
"She's not even a demi-human, dipshit... She's just wearing make-up... You're just wearing make-up...right?"
"I have nothing to say to you demi-humans! Now git the hell outta our village! Accursed monsters!"
Everyone else in Arni likewise is either scared shitless of Lynx and company or else telling us to piss off and muttering racial slurs when we leave the door. Let's go see how Leena is doing...
"Leena...it's me! Serge!"
"WHAT!? Serge!? No... That's a lie!!! W-What the heck is going on!?"
"I got turned into a friggin' CAT!!"
"How am I supposed to believe you're Serge when you look like that...? I'm sorry but no."
"So you talked to a literal clone of yourself the other day and didn't bat an eyelash. But, me being transformed into another body in a world filled with crazy magic and living god dragons is just too out there...?"
"You can't just show up looking like that and say you're Serge... Besides even if you are Serge you are like...hairy and ick... I'm sorry, but I have nothing to say to you."
Huh... That went well... Welp, let's see if Serge's mom is at least less of a bitch about her son's predicament.
"Hey mom... Uhh... So you know how you love cats...? Well...funny thing about that... It's me, Serge."
"What...? What did you just say...!? You're Serge...? ...Please explain to me exactly what is going on here..."
"Welp, mom... You know how you're always saying I should get out of the house and do something with my life...?"
"LOOK WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I LISTENED TO YOU!!!"
A fade out to off camera Lynx exposition we're not allowed to hear later...
"I really don't know about dimensional distortions or about the other world. But if, like you say, something big is really on the verge of happening... It may have all started 14 years ago... On the night of the storm..."
"They were swallowed by the high waves and lost consciousness. When they came to, they found themselves inside the Dead Sea... A place where no living creature dares enter. I don't know what he saw or what happened, but that incident changed your father. And your father's friend, Miguel... That was Leena's father. He never returned..."
"Yes, I believe they called it the 'Sea of Eden'... That was 14 years ago."
"I thought you said dad was a no-good drunk that ran off to Choras with some bar floozy...?"
"Oh...well you were very young and you know how it is, dear..."
"No...no I really do not..."
"Are you the ones everybody is talking about?"
"For the hundredth time, I am not Lynx. I just look like him...sound like him... and dress like him..."
"Step outside, Lynx! For I, too, was once a valiant member of the Acacia Dragoons! I must put a stop to you!"
"Hey, mom... Old man Radius wants me to stop talking to you."
"That's nice, dear. Just don't track mud into the house."
"Do not underestimate ze power of Monsieur Lynx. One blow and it'z off to ze other world wit' you!"
"That...isn't how this whole thing works..."
"Silence! Now step outside!"
So we are thrust into a battle with village elder Radius.
Seeing as this is no longer the tutorial, he is ridiculously easy and managed to get off a couple of physical attacks before Team Lynx stomped his ass.
But hey! We get our first level-up under the new banner. At least that counts for something.
"Last time I tried attacking you with 'malice' I got punched repeatedly in the dick, gramps. I really don't want to know what the feels like as a feline."
"Do you really mean to tell me that you are not Lynx?"
"Yea... Like I said I look like him, I dress like him...it's a pretty snazzy outfit really, I gotta admit... But I'm not him. Hell, I'm not even the not-him you know from this world. This Lynx...err...body is from another dimension where he was working with that Viper Colonel guy and you were living in a tree stump and crap."
"Well...ergh... I'm not sure if 'active' is the word I would use to describe him anymore..."
"Here, the general has been missing for the past 3 years now... Hmm... Understood! I shall accompany you! You may still have a chance to save the general and Riddel in the other world."
"Well... The general's daughter was fine last I checked... Umm...maybe a bit traumatized... But otherwise fine..."
"Zut! This geezer iz only going to get in ze way..."
And so our party expands to a furry, an ancient hobo, a clown, and the mayor. Terrific. Funny how we went out of our way to find the other Radius and he more or less blew us off. But this one just wanders into our group while taking his morning walk.
"...and gather news about General Viper's disappearance from this world."
"...You mean you care enough about him to join a stranger who looks like your former enemy? But not enough to ever pick up a newspaper and see what the hell ever happened to the guy...?"
"Well, I could tell you a few stories about my youth with the General and how we parted ways initially. It all started in the summer of '05 when I was a sc-"
"Never mind! To Termina it is..."