Part 59: Update Fifty Six: Leavemywife Enters Attack Mode!

Update Fifty Six: Leavemywife Enters Attack Mode!

Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Chrono Trigger, we wrecked Queen Zeal's shit. Today, we're going to wreck Lavos' shit, so let's bounce.

If you want to see a video that invalidates this update, click here! And forgive me for some of the clumsy edits, but I cut out when I menu'd, and I'm not very good at video editing yet.





So, yeah, we got the big guy himself right here. He's got a very interesting method of attack.





He cribs off other bosses from the game to attack you, progressing through various bosses. You might remember this from the update I did showing off what happens when you enter the bucket long before you should.



He kicks things off with the Dragon Tank.



Janus, you weren't around for this thing, so let me tell you it's gimm--



...Never mind, you got it.







By the way, the game jumps straight to this battle after you defeat Queen Zeal; once you fight her first form, you're in for a battle gauntlet. Our second boss refight is with the Guardian, from 2300 AD. There's time in between these fights to hit the menu and use items or change gear, but your party is set.



When bosses had multiple parts, Lavos summons a couple of...Uh...Whatever the hell those are to fill in for them. These fights are pretty faithful recreations of the original, which is a neat touch, but their stats and attacks are no stronger than they were before.





As such, Chrono is more than capable of soloing this portion of the fight. Shit, he might even be able to solo this entire gauntlet.





Heckran is our third fight.





I fully expected Spire to one-shot this fucker. I was very surprised.



But Janus was ready with the backup. He might not be a team player, but he hates Lavos enough to help us take the oversized louse down.





Ooh, _Kelly Zombor.



Occasionally when Lavos needs more parts, it ends up looking completely ridiculous.



Now, one of Zombor's parts absorbed Shadow, but I don't remember which part, nor do I remember which part is the top and bottom in this configuration.





Still has that MP buster counter.





This is a real nice measure of how far you've come since you started this adventure. In the beginning, the Dragon Tank was fully capable of fucking you up, and Heckran or Zombor would have been incredible challenges.



But now, we're making this bosses look like total punks.



I cut this out of the video, but Magus gets a Turbo Ether before we start fighting Masa & Mune.





To further hammer home the point that we're incredibly powerful, Chrono took 9 damage from a big ol' smack.





And retaliated for something like 112 times the damage.





The bosses are getting stronger.





Nizbel is our next "challenge."



We've gotta zap him to drop that Defense.



I was prepared to bring the lightning and the pain.





Including that shot just for a sweet action pose Frog pulls off.





Ah, the Magus fight. Or should I say Janus fight? I mean, when you change his name, his entries in the Bestiary change, so if we had changed it to something completely ridiculous, he'd be "DONGS" or whatever in the Bestiary.





And you can still drop his Magic Defense with the Masamune.



Ah, God, Fire II!







And then he switched to Lightning right before Janus could fry him in return.



He then pulled out Hell Geyser.



If he wants to play with lightning, I'm more than willing to get down.





He also doesn't switch the Barrier, which was one of the biggest mistakes he could have made.



He didn't even get a chance to get close to using Dark Matter.



It is extremely satisfying to be ripping through these old bosses; some of these guys could have been major roadblocks, withMagus being the biggest offender in that category; he's probably the hardest fight in the normal game, fully capable of wrecking your shit even if you're prepared and know how that fight goes.







Azala still needs to be dropped first, and we're much better equipped to do that than when we first fought this duo.



She still has Azala's Wrath as a death counter, but with status immunity, Sap won't take.





We've gotta wait for him to start the countdown before we can do any appreciable damage.



There we go!





SUCK IT DOWN





And that's how this penultimate form change was ended. In fact, near the endgame, Double Techs are an invaluable source of damage, and you'll be using them for most fights.





El Gigante is our final refight.



Taking out the hands is still a good way to start off the fight.



Chrono was so close to blowing them off in one blast, but that's why you take backup.







As you can tell, this fight won't last long, either.





Maybe Lightning Rod would have been more effective, but X-Strike just looks so damn cool.



Anyways, after dropping ol' Gigger7, Lavos decides to quit fucking around. We're now fighting the main event.





10,000 HP to tear through here, and then we can get to his next form.



I mean, c'mon, did you really expect the final boss to be a rush of a bunch of pussy boss fights and then a weakass final form?



Shit no, it isn't; we're far from done with this case of world-spanning scabies.





That still hurts like hell, but nowhere like it did in the Ocean Palace.



Actually, the Lavos we're fighting here and the Lavos we fought there are two different enemies. The Lavos in the Ocean Palace has triple the stats of the Lavos we're fighting here; he's designed to wreck your shit there.





A lot of endgame enemies and bosses love to try and Confuse you. Thankfully, our best armors all render the wearer immune to status ailments, so we don't have to worry about this.



Nor do we have to worry about it wrecking our shit in other ways.



Anyways, this fight is over.



Lavos screams at us again, probably close to piddling that we've just kicked his ass.





An intense white light envelops the screen.



Which was Lavos' head exploding.





So close, yet so far. C'mon, we've gotta go in and finish this.





The screen fades to black as we walk toward the opening to Lavos' shell.



We drop inside, hearing the sound of a massive beating; Lavos' heart, his core, is nearby. We're nearly done with our adventure.



Jesus, Frog, he's right there!



Well, actually, that Gate right there will take us out, but details...



Still, we're right here at the end of the game. All we have left to do is beat the boss.

Which brings me to yet another vote; BOLD a vote for who you want to come to save the world from utter destruction. Wednesday, 7:30 PM, EST, we'll know who our saviors are.

Stay tuned.