Part 18: Plans never survive the enemy.

If we're going to do this, we're going to have to do it the same way we destroyed the Great Wall last time: Gunpowder. Our military tech is lacking and I'm going to make it up as fast as I can. Trebuchets are pretty good but Boudicca is seriously dug in at this point, we will need to have cannons to blast Edinburgh's hit points down.

I don't want, necessarily, to be considered a warmonger by any other nations than necessary, either. And I want to destroy Boudicca's army. Which means: I'm going to try to draw her out.

If Boudicca sees a wall of crossbowmen on my border, she's actually going to pull back and delay the attack, the AI is smart enough for that. If I build crossbowmen but keep them a little out of sight, she'll bring her army forward, and then I'll perforate it. I might also try to build a galley or two to snipe at Boudicca from the western coastline. The ships can't reach all the way to Edinburgh (not until I can get Range-3 ships, anyway) but they'd be able to eliminate any forces on the narrows.

That's the plan, anyway. And as we all know by now, on this difficulty level, plans rarely survive the enemy…



As if to rub it in, when I reload the save from the last session, I get re-notified Boudicca just finished Notre Dame, and an annoying honk plays. So help me, once we go Industrial I will never hear that sound again.



Our economy's pretty good at the moment. If and when we need to buy a lot of soldiers, we have a good cash reserve to blow on an instant army. I'm going to try to build barracks first so I can have stronger soldiers when I insta-buy.



Hey, Milan! Join the Countdown Club, it's what all the cool angst-ridden Mayan teenagers are doing! Our days are numbered, so let's party down and feast while we still can!



This horseman has been built for the purpose of scouting out Boudicca's territory and the lands behind her, if any. We'll see what she's guarding soon.



One more Long Count down, time for a Great Engineer! The Long Counts are becoming more and more spaced-out because the clock slows as the turns pass. You may have noticed that I have not produced any Great People other than those produced by the Long Count. That's the downside of it, sadly. It's good for a quick burn early on but you need to make sure you know what you're doing with it, hence why I'm insisting on doing nothing but Great Tile improvements.



Oh-ho-ho, she is so totally invading me, I count four trebuchets. Well, two can play at that game. Soon I will have knights, long swordsmen and from them, muskets. There are disadvantages to going tech-deep but, screw it, I have a neighbor who wants me dead.



Don't hold a grudge my ass!



Behind Boudicca I see the Barringer Crater and Hanoi. Huh. No real good stuff yet, but…



Isabella decides she's tired of the nonexistent proxy war between us and I decide I'm tired of not having city-states as friends, so I gladly accept her gold. Hee.



La Venta wanted to see who could produce the most faith in the world. That's us, so we won the contest and got their silk and faith points as a prize. Milan wanted us to connect silk, so Milan is now our ally too. I love it when you get supply chains going.



We're going straight for the gunpowder, baby!



Hanoi had a quest to kill a barbarian encampment south of them in all that ice and snow, and succeeding made us friends. I gave them a little gold so they could stay friends with us longer and now they are our allies. Right next to Boudicca, giving us free soldiers every ten turns. Oh, yes. Remember how we fought a war with an entirely donated army last time? This won't be so extreme, but it will still pay off.



Sadly it looks like the continent is completely blocked off by ice in the south. I can't build a navy and circle it around to annihilate Edinburgh.



Elizabeth enters the Renaissance just three turns ahead of us and that unlocks a spy. Two spies for her. Also, in this screenshot, you can see Boudicca's troops moving up. I think they're going to attack…



Hm, send a spy out or keep them home…



With Barracks in all three cities, I can now build a Heroic Epic in Salt Pass. It bestows a generic +15% Damage upon all troops trained here, on the front lines. Handy! Most damage bonuses are specific to a type of terrain.




Screw everything but chemistry! Chemistry will make our mines give us more production, the better to do all sorts of other nasty things to our enemies. Everything else can wait, even if, regrettably, we get beaten to more wonders.

Immediately after Chemistry, though, I'm going for Astronomy to get those precious Observatories. With that our science output should shoot through the roof and we'll leave all these guys in the Medieval dung ages.



New policy time! The Renaissance has unlocked a new policy. Time to show you guys the power of RATIONALISM! Initially we just get a slight boost to our science so long as we're happy. Thanks to Countdown Club and some savvy trading our happiness is pretty high. The next time I take a Commerce policy our happiness will be even higher (like, minimum of sixteen points higher!) but for now I'm prioritizing two more policies in Rationalism that are guaranteed to hyper-activate our science.



Boudicca swears at us in Welsh and attacks! I'm ready for you! I've got a brand-new castle built in Salt Pass with boiling oil!



POW. One trebuchet, dead! Bring it on!



They're in such disarray they don't even have time to set up their trebuchets before I attack them. One trebuchet crew apparently went "SHIT! We're outta here!" and booked it into the water. Also, Hanoi just donated a unique unit to us, the German Landsknecht--identical to the Pikeman, but cheaper. So, uh, it doesn't actually benefit us at all over a regular Pikeman since it was donated. We appreciate the thought, though, Hanoi!



Hoping for a softer target, Boudicca's wounded units pull east, but that won't help them either.



Hey, it's the mascot of Kate Beaton's "Hark, A Vagrant!" Hi, Napoleon! I love playing as you! Mind trading embassies so I can tell where the hell you are?



Hmm, pretty far away. I don't know who he's fighting over there, but it's more than just the English.



Harun al-Rashid! Nice to see you again, buddy! Got anything to trade?

He gives us some truffles for some marble. Nice.



What's left of Boudicca's invading army tries to get close to Two Rivers, but my crossbowmen pursue on the roads and shoot them down. One just got destroyed and the other two won't last long unless they run the hell away.



Back at Edinburgh it looks like whatever's left of her army includes two trebuchets and that's it. Getting through there will still be a slog thanks to the Great Wall, and I'll need to make sure to blow away all of her soldiers along the way so only the city itself can damage me, but I'm doing well.



All the fighting produces a Great General, which pleases Yerevan. Yay!



Translation from Welsh: "It looks like I bit off more than I could chew, could you please not kill me?"

NO.



Next turn, all her invading soldiers are dead, cut down in the too-late retreat.

State of the World: