Part 5: What Lies Beneath the Base?
5. What Lies Beneath the Base?Alright. Where's Genghis Khan?
Huh?
Or how about Oda Nobunaga? Napoleon? Hitler? Andrew Jackson?! Bring it on! I'll take on every conquerer in history if I have to!
Snake, it's not so bad. Alexander's on a distant peninsula, he'd have to fight through the Huns, the Assyrians, and the Aztecs to get to us. Unless his troops have lots of boats, anyway.
Humph.
Well, we finished the granary and our workers are digging up lots more stone and metal for us--we still haven't perfected the use of the forge, though. Uh what are these guys working on?
We found something big buried underneath the base, made of huge, heavy stones. I'm thinking, maybe a hidden burial tomb. Might be useful, whatever it is. It's risky to put effort into something like this when war's looming but well, we've got our mercenaries in Valetta and can pull 'em back if Montezuma tries anything in the next week.
Ooh, a burial tomb? Like an Egyptian tomb? With mummies?
Brrr I hope they're the type that just lay around rotting and got buried with all their treasure and weapons, and not the kind that walk around cursing people.
Hey, you know, Count Dracula was a real person too! Maybe we could meet him in this place too!
CHICO! NEVER EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!
He wasn't really a vampire in real life, but he did stick up hundreds of his enemies on poles to--
QUIET! I'm gonna have vampire nightmares again now. Thanks. Really.
Hey, soldier! Meerkat! You're an officer now.
Sweet! Thanks, Boss!
Your new code name is Hannibal.
What? I'm a woman! Can't I be, like, Jeanne D'Arc?
Yeah, sorry, I just grabbed the name out of a hat at random. Plus, I figure, if I pre-emptively name you after Hannibal maybe we won't run into a bunch of Phoenicians with war elephants. Knock on wood.
ONCE AGAIN FOR THE LAST TIME, I ASK YOU: HELP ME KILL ASHURBANIPAL. SO I CAN THEN MOVE ON TO KILLING YOU MORE EFFICIENTLY.
Why does everyone want to kill Ashurbanipal?
Either he's in prime real estate, or it's for his knowledge. He said that he knows why we're all here.
Montezuma's moving too. This could be our chance. Let's start building up our forces now to attack Montezuma from the side while his forces march north.
Good thinking. Hell, we've got enough spare materials to build one catapult instantly right now. Let's do it.
Welp, that's done. Good news, Snake. We found some tranquilizer darts and I can start working on a brig for Mother Base. That means well, you can start working your persuasive magic on enemy troops we capture. Just like how we built up MSF in the first place!
Great! But, uh it's kind of a long walk.
Can't be helped. We're still repairing the helicopter and haven't found enough Fulton Recovery Balloons. Once we have, though, we'll be able to recruit anyone anywhere. Hey, that big underground THING you were working on, is it almost excavated?
Yeah! The guys just called me over there. It's
We just dug up Stonehenge?
But, that's buh what the hell are we going to do with Stonehenge?! It's just a bunch of stone slabs stacked on each other in a circle!
Hey, we could turn it into a temple! Our little shrine isn't big enough for all the guys.
Ugggh fine From now on, no more super secret excavation projects. We focus on practical stuff! Like weapons and resource collection.
OUCH! Sir! Some barbarians attacked Valletta! They came out of nowhere!
Engage, soldier. You weren't on guard duty for nothing!
(From now on, the more troops we have stationed in city-states, the more likely they are to be attacked, but killing them gives us a boost to the city-state's influence, so it's nice for publicity).
Aww, dammit, they just killed Alligator! Where the hell did those horsemen come from?! We need more weaponry!
Damn. Sit tight. I'll see what I can do.
Okay, cargo ship "Porpoise," your mission is to trade for supplies with Mogadishu. They give us stuff we need, we give them junk they think they want, and everybody's happy. Now, it's time to drop everything and just outfit as many guys with spears and bows as I can. We're almost done figuring out how to forge stuff, right?
We should work on getting better bows, too. Follow the Huns' example. They conquered half of Europe using recurved bows, much better and easier to use than a bent stick with a string on it.
why the hell is he smiling? Is he mocking us!?
This guy is crazy, Snake. All the more reason to put him out of our misery soon.
Attila's finally made his move on Ashurbanipal and it looks like our friend Monty is having a tiff with Shaka.
AUUUGH! They're they're everywhere! You savages, do you know who you're attacking!?
NO! I will not die. I will NEVER DIE! SNAAAAKE! Come to Assur, if you ever wish to know the truth. Come an-- *static*
AHAAHAHAHAHAHA. OF WHAT USE IS KNOWLEDGE WHEN YOU CAN BE KICKED IN THE BALLS AND STABBED IN THE FACE?
Damn.
Alright, this is the real deal! Armor and a blade!
Swords are the first weapons of war. Spears, bows and knives can be used to hunt for prey, but a sword has only one use: killing other humans. Hopefully this will give us an "edge."
Crap. Don't ask me how, Snake, but apparently the Aztecs did something to impress Valetta. If we go to war with the Aztecs while they're still enamored of them, Valletta will cancel our contract and attack us.
What the hell? I guess they weren't very impressed by how Alligator got blown away by those barbarians. We'll need better and more numerous troops to impress our clients.
(Snake won't like me playing puppet master, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. If I can get this monster to head north instead of south that'll buy us some time )
You know what we need? A gambling hall. Soldiers get bored really fast and making gametime official will give them a load off their minds. And, as they say, the house always wins we'd get a cut of the winnings.
ALL HAIL THE GREAT AND MIGHTY BIG BOSS!
Whoah, what's this?
One of the locals we recruited he, uh look, I'm no god.
A god? Perhaps not. But a god among men? Certainly! You've shown us all the way of warrior pride!
Ugh, my doorstep's going to be even more covered in offerings
Actually, about that why don't we just put out a collection box? Put this to good use. Having something to believe in makes people work harder, and happier.
Well, when you put it like that just don't paint me in angel wings. I'm closer to hell than heaven these days
Snake I see you've sent a lot of people my way. Are these the sacrifices I demanded of you before?
No.
*cold laugh* Then so be it! Either spilled on my altar, or on the fields, the gods will have their blood.
Better check your donor card, Monty, because I'm pretty sure you'll qualify too. MSF, ATTACK!
Damn, they wrecked one of our catapults! But these Jaguar guys are no match for real swords.
Texcoco is poorly defended and sparsely-manned, we shouldn't have any problem taking it out.
Should we trash this place?
No, it's a good forward position and it's got access to some resources we don't have at Mother Base--sugar, copper, and bananas. Oh, man, I can take out an entire enemy base with bananas--make sure to harvest some!
Man, this place is full of salvage! I can upgrade Mother Base in one go with this junk!
Perfect--our brig is set up! I guess now we should focus on some battlements around Mother Base. Too bad we don't have those old artillery launchers.
Don't push forward yet, men, that next city has walls on it. We'll need more siege weaponry to take it out.
Damn, our merchant vessel got sunk on the way back from Mogadishu--more barbarian pirates! We're bleeding money on this one, Snake. We'd better finish this war fast.
Enough is enough, Snake! Cease your attacks. You've satisfied your own taste for blood, have you not?
Where's Cecile?
Cecile?
Blonde. French. Owns the radio you're using.
Is she still alive?
SNAAAAKE! HELP!
SILENCE!
That's what I thought. Don't worry, Cecile. I'm going in with the troops personally!
CHAAARRGE!
Next time: Montezuma Boss Fight.