Part 20: The World's Watchdog

Part 20: The World's Watchdog



Huh, Ulundi's got a training course in it too. Looks like it's a siege course for city invasion training.

…what's the giant statue for?

…good question! Ambience?

Well…whatever. I'm tired of fighting superpowered historical conquerers. Anyway. Is the vacation resort finished?



It is!

Thank goodness. Somebody give me a…a…something. Something tasty and relaxing!



We've painted the base some more and have equipped the halls with vending machines full of Doritos and Pepsi Next! That ought to make everyone happy!

Mmmm…I love Doritos and Pepsi Next…good work!



Sweet! Our hardware got upgraded.

I love the new pie-tin helmets…



Napoleon's navy spotted! He doesn't look too happy that we beat him to attacking the Zulus and liberating their captured victims.

Heh. His problem. Until he has steamships--and he famously didn't like the idea of them--I'm not worried. Their cannons will mostly just bounce off our hulls.

Probably should keep a few guys on the beaches to prevent an amphibious assault.



Big Boss! You seem to have moved faster than I anticipated, but…I am here to help you rescue the fine people of Switzerland from the clutches of the dreaded Zulus and place them under my protection.

*snort*

Excuse me?

You think I'm dumb? You want to conquer that place and use it as a foothold on my continent. No deal. I'm freeing them of all outside influences…and if anyone's going to station their soldiers in their borders after this, it'll be me. Under contract, of course.

How dare you! I am--

Trying to outfox a snake. Try harder, pal.

You will regret this, mercenary scum.

And besides, I feel a certain empathy towards a small independent nation famous for its hard-as-nails mercenaries.



No! Zurich is mine!!!

Not today, pal. Why don't you pick on someone my size?

Snake…



Okay, so this comic will be about a man turned into a monster by an atomic bomb…

What, like a human Godzilla?

Yeah! That's what the title will be! The Human Godzilla! We'll call him the Hurg for short!



Heh.

Damn, woman, how many banquets did you host?

Quite a lot. Opened a few orphanages too. If you're "Big Boss," I'm going to be "Big Mama."

Well, we have a lot more international support now. Good.

Time to put the screws to 'em: we're going to make sure Napoleon can't ban any more of our sweets, and take steps to keep our secrets from leaking to them.

Why does he hate sweets?

Must be more of his psychological warfare.



Hell. Yeah. Automatic weapons. We're finally back in the present day with regards to weapons technology, boss!

That reminds me…some of the artifacts we've found…they're not from 1974. They're from later in history. We're not the most advanced things this screwed-up mish-mash world has seen. We might be able to take things even beyond 20th century science if we study them more.



What's the matter? Losing your grip, Emperor?

I think you've done more than enough to make your stake in world affairs, soldier.

Where's Genghis Khan?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You didn't capture or kill him, because you would have publicized it if you did. He's still out there.

Hmph.



It's time for the world to know that we're its watchdog-for-hire. There's still tons of bandits and pirates and terrorists about, and therefore everyone needs our services. So let's do some modern advertising and get film crews out to film our forces in action when we protect their borders. That will really work wonders for our international standing.



So, this is a story about people who dress up in cat costumes?

No, no, it's about actual cats, just portrayed by human actors. It's all done to a bunch of T.S. Elliot poems.

Ooohh… strange, but I think I want to see this!



Valetta wants us to build a mountain fortress.

…why?

Beats me. I kept telling them that we're on the coast, not next to the mountains, but they wouldn't listen.

Snake! We've got another agent applicant…he says he knows you.

Who is he?

I'm like you…I have no name…



Oh, God, not THIS guy again…Look, Frank, I'm sending you far, far away from me. Go on a mission in, I dunno…Zanzibar.

Zanzibar?

Yeah. And change your code name! "Null" is terrible, it's like someone trying to go for "Zero" when they realize it's already taken. And "Cipher's" taken too, apparently. So no more nothingness-related theme names. You're…Gray Fox now.

Oh…okay…Are you sure you don't want me to slash any men in half for you with my machete?

VERY SURE. Just…just spy on them, okay? No killing people any more. You're a recovering killaholic, one murder is one too many.

To Be Continued!