Part 40: The Seeds of Death!

Part 37: The Seeds of DEATH!



What if we try to create some kind of… "interactive" story that gives the readers the power to do whatever they want, within certain themes?

Hmm, cutting-edge. What would the stories be about?

Whatever we want! Shamans in an alpine lodge murder mystery, a quest to find a unicorn to save a poisoned well, a paranormal investigator who gets psychic powers and fights superintelligent apes and ghosts, violent ninja death feuds, a guy with a solar-powered sword fighting racist caricatures, a wizard with a witch girlfriend who battles giant ants, you name it! No idea is too stupid or outlandish!

Ahh, so we'd be able to write while drunk! I approve of this!



Okay, so, we've taken over this half of the continent…we really should give a name to this place eventually, shouldn't we? And the Americans are mixing it up with what's left of the Romans. I don't expect them to last long.

That's okay. One big target is sometimes easier to deal with than many little ones. He doesn't like us much but we've got no reason to come to blows. Yet. I'm prioritizing figuring out a way to explore the oceans, we need to find out if there's other places out here.



What the hell have you been building while I was fighting Nobunaga?!

It's a new temple complex dedicated to the Order of Shiny Things! In return for assistance building it, we agreed to lease one of the main chambers to Dr. Strangelove.

Hey! DOC! We could have been building practical things instead of this!

Engendering the goodwill of the people is very practical. They send us more money that way. Besides, this was to flex my engineering muscles…you still want me to help you rebuild Metal Gear, don't you? We'll need to build its hangar first.

I---okay, good point.

Snake! We've got someone here who says they know you!



Snake… hello…

Ah, good! I was wondering when you'd show up.

Um… you were expecting me?

Yeah, chalk it up to the fact that I'm a spymaster running my own organization now. (Smooth, heh heh…)

Oh, my. Who's this? She looks…saucy.

Very saucy. Watch out, she'll charm the pants off you, then take off running with them.

I could think of worse fates.

You have no idea…anyway, EVA, you're good at pretending to be American, I need you to spy on George Washington for me.

Um…alright! That should be easy!

Not necessarily. Washington may not have been the best military commander but he was a pretty good spymaster. His Culper Ring was set up like a terrorist organization, where even the guys at the top didn't know everyone who was working for them, and it never became public knowledge until a hundred and fifty years after it dissolved.

He used a lot of female spies too, so he won't be put off by the notion of an enemy one, got it?

Alright…Snake, there's a lot I want to say, but…

Later. When this is all over. If it ever is…



You know you're doing good when the people you're protecting start giving you weapons. I could stand to like this.



Finally, our navigational research is complete! We should be able to explore deep oceans without going off track or succumbing to scurvy. Let's get those scout vessels up and running!



Those Shiny missionaries are already out there…I hope they don't give anyone the wrong impression of us.

We found a volcano!

Heh. Just don't try to settle there.



Better be careful, Snake. It looks like Washington's built a very elaborate death-maze around his capital…it'll be very rough going if you even think about attacking him.

Great…



We've found new land, new clients! In fact…they've been harboring an old friend of ours!

Snake!

Huey! I thought you'd be dead or working for some overlord. What are you doing in Quebec?

Enjoying the cuisine. Snake, I don't know what you've been through, but it's crazy out there. You wouldn't believe who I've met.

Heh…let me fill you in on some back history…



I can see the borders of another big kingdom out there! We're getting communications from them now!



…huh.

"Huh?" is all I warrant? Where are your manners?

Uh, sorry, your highness. How are you doing?

Terribly. Any other stupid questions you'd like to ask?

Not at this time…(Kaz, dig up what you can on this guy! I don't even remember this one!)



Mother Base has been outfitted with still more intense training facilities, thanks to Mr. Oda.

PUNCHING BEEHIVES!



Hi, I'm George Washington Goethals, the man who built the Panama Canal! Want me to do anything like that for you?

Hmm, no, but I do have a new art project I'd like you to help me finish! This place is drab as hell, I'm investing in some more beautification.



Now that's what I'm talking about!

Sir! We just met another world leader! It's, uh…someone I don't remember from the history books!

Put 'em through.



Hmm…this must be what the French call Deja Vu. Forgive me, where are my manners? It's so good to hear from you! Please, whenever you wish, I'd enjoy it if you could dine with me at my palace.

I do enjoy a good meal. Maybe I'll take you up on that offer. It's nice to meet someone who isn't trying to kill me for once.

Oh, you have no idea! The barbarism my people have suffered at the hands of these monsters…Well, we'll keep diplomatic channels open for now, yes?

Sure thing! Ahh…she seems nice.

(Weird…I need to do some fact-checking first…was that Maria the First or Maria the Educator?)



Looks like there's another civilization over yonder, give me a day or two to scope 'em out, Boss!



Ahaah! Yes! GUNS! I love guns!

They are impressive weapons.

No, not just for their ability to kill people noisily--for how they change the battlefield. They make nonsense of the distinction between peasant and nobility. All men are equal to the gun. They require little practice to use, and they punch through armor with ease. There are no more elites where there are guns.

Yeah. And a lot of democracies got started right around the time when guns started to be the main battle weapon, too. Armies still needed discipline and training, but the power of war was no longer exclusively in the hands of the few guys at top who could afford armor. What was that saying, "God made men, but Samuel Colt made them equal?"

Perhaps guns made men and women equal as well…you have quite a lot of female warriors in your army, Snake.

I don't know about that, the toughest woman I ever met hardly even needed a gun to kick my ass.

Sir, they're coming into view! I see an envoy! It's…



Huh. Vlad the Impaler. Say, Kaz, is our status okay?

Pretty good, I'd say, Snake.

Great. Handle things for me for a while, okay?

…okay?

I'm just going to be in my cardboard box for a while.

Snake? Snake?

*barely suppressed whimpering and sobbing*

To Be Continued!