Part 13: Episode XII: Fatal Frame (Gloomy House)
Episode XII: Fatal Frame (Gloomy House)
When last we left our heroine, she'd just endured an extremely confusing scene of which has no relevance to the story at hand and will never be mentioned at any point following. With that said, let's continue...
Unfortunately, Alyssa cannot ride the ethereal tumbler again. I guess it's time for everyone's favorite: exploration!
Alyssa comes upon a locked door at the end of the hallway. A picture knocked ajar catches her eye.
Unfortunately, Alyssa seems to find it rude to touch others' belongings without proper permission or at the very least an incentive to do so.
Pondering the morality of correcting decoration arrangements, our heroine wanders back down the corridor.
Such questions of ethics apparently summon forth the vengeful ghost of Curly from the Three Stooges.
The haunting nyuk-nyuk-nyuk is enough to spring up Alyssa's panic meter a good tic. Where loony blind people and...whatever the fuck happened in the last cutscene...failed to raise it in the least.
Further down the hall: A locked door. Defined as a door which cannot be opened. Moving on.
Alyssa evades the spirit and follows the corridor as it leads upstairs to a new room.
There must be some clause in survival horror development creed which states there simply must be no few than five completely out of place arbitrary puzzles. You don't even want to know what the industry standard on fetch quests is.
Here we have a 'moonflower' it can be turned in any direction. Now, children, take put on your thinking caps and decide which way Miss Hamilton should point the flower in. Jimmy? Do you have an answer?
"DAH MOON!!"
Very good, Jimmy.
Turning the flower around toward the painting triggers the err... bed moving mechanism... to reveal a secret passage. Even low rent flats in the slums have fucking secret passages these days.
There's a couple of trinkets of note to nose through, before Alyssa advances to the grimy depths of hidden architecture.
Firstly, a locked toolbox. I wonder if it's got a pair of fucking pliers in it.
Secondly, there is a file on the desk. You kids like files, right?
Albert's Diary
I always consult my local baker for eye care advice.
Who the hell calls up relatives they apparently barely know? Much less goes to their hous and ask if they can shack up for a few weeks? Other than the nutjob loony ones, of course. Oh wait...
Don't panic. There is no crack team of thieves roaming through the streams of time, in any of the future subplots.
Finding that last file to be largely irrelevant, Alyssa climbs down the newly discovered secret passage.
Our heroine ends up emerging from the fire place. Wait, WHAT?!
I've seen a lot of fucked up nonsensical level design in my survival horror days but... There's an entire team behind the development of this title. Not one of these people thought to perk up and mention a fireplace leading into a bedroom upstairs makes abso-fucking-lutely no sense?!
Alyssa now finds herself in some room of little purpose and dull décor.
But, it does have this spiffy little item to aide in our quest. It also holds a shocking revelation for our spunky young adventurer.
Has it even been established we've time traveled again? Did we even time travel the first time? Or was that a dream? Some spectral construct world? Like the Matrix but with magic and about a par level of retardedness.
Only time will <not> tell. In the meantime, there's one last key item on the table. Guess it's time to do some ghost busting.
Alyssa travels through the nearby double doors, which bring her back to the entry hallway. Trying all the locked doors in the area brings us to this one...
Being able to deduce the precise nature of a key just by looking at it is a bit of useless skill if you don't know where the fuck you need to go to use it.
Wandering into the kitchen leads us head first into a grisly scene.
They take those "No Solicitor" signs to heart around these parts. Oh hey, another file. Yippee...
News Reporters's Memo
Has any actual flesh and blood, real life reporter ever used the term 'scoop'? I'm genuinely curious about this.
Well, that's good. Can we go home now?
...Aww. It's like the developers were trying to be clever by using a real life serial killer for this stage, then still managed to completely fuck it up. John Haigh was around in the forties.
Also, he was tried and executed for his crimes. He didn't fall victim to the fucking Joker's origin story.
We get a nice big focus on the stiff's camera. Assuming this was Curly back in the hall, I'm sure will need some retarded relevant item to get him off our asses.
Unfortunately, there's fuck all we can do about it at the moment. So, Alyssa passes on nonchalantly.
Seems we've somehow managed to end up back outside. Which is good, as the front door had locked by itself earlier. There's no reason behind why. It just sort of felt like it.
Oh well, might as well release a wandering soul or two while we're in the area. Laura Palmer beams off to greener pastures.
The game doesn't make it explicitly clue as to what you are to do next. It basically is banking on the fact you'll eventually get bored wandering around an empty house pixel hunting and will venture back to the save point to power down and play a more entertaining game.
Unfortunately, you just end up falling into the developer's deadly web upon attempting to do so.
"Nice job with the whole 'DO. NOT. COME. HOME." thing. Glad I wasted three years worth of boarding school tuition for you to fuck up like that. I've so very proud, honey."
I'm thinking Nancy just might be dead at this point. What with her being transparent and wandering around in the sixties.
Alyssa chases off after her mother's apparition. Unfortunately, it has vanished.
Leaving only in its wake an invitation to backtrack across the fucking Hamilton Residence again...
Joy of joys...
Tune in next time for...
EXPOSITION!
FRUSTRATION!!
NARRATION!!!
Not to be featured:
Una torre de reloj.