Part 3: Episode II: Resident Evil (Hamilton Residence)
Episode II: Resident Evil (Hamilton Residence)
When last we left our heroine, she'd just been felt up by a fat man wearing nothing but a trenchcoat, a styling hat, and a smile. Also, something about her mother being dead and impending doom or some other such rot. With that said, let's continue...
We finally gain control of Alyssa. Where we find her vast array of abilities and techniques. They include...
- Running!
- Ducking!
- Crawling!
- Walking!
She does have one or two more abilities, but that's pretty much the sum of it for the duration.
Oh yes, she does have one more ability at her disposal: Mind Numbingly Politeness. To the point she will not enter areas barred off with a 'Do Not Enter' sign because that wouldn't be proper. Case in point, the surly fellow who just felt her up and insinuated her mother is dead still qualifies for 'gentleman' status.
Alyssa returns to the main hallway.
Not that you care, but the game can be saved by means scribbling notes in open diaries. As well as one other, far stupider way. More on that later.
Attempting to do the alien 'smart' thing and getting the hell out of dodge is halted by not locks, chains, or undead monsters. No, it is barred just by our heroine's insistence on staying in an empty mansion obviously full of danger and with one confirmed wacko still lurking about, only because her mum hung up on her over the telephone.
Taking a short stroll up stairs and hanging a right will lead us to Alyssa's room.
Surely, if we're going to be on some sort of Scooby Doo mystery caper, it would be preferable to not be sporting a catholic schoolgirl outfit.
Let's see what our alternatives are:
We have a blue jean and accompanying jacket and matching cowgirl hat. Err...shirt not included...
Then we have a set of medieval plate armor... Pants not included...
Finally, we have a leather hooker outfit, complete with knee high boots, fishnets, and hot 14-year old A-cup cleavage.
...Right, then. Blazer and short skirt it is. I'd like to note that she hasn't been home in three years... She's had these clothes since she was eleven...
With the horrifying side track into playing dress-up over, Alyssa gets down to what is really important.
"She can pay to shove me in boarding school for years on end but she's can't pay the damn cable bill?"
Also found in Alyssa's digs (which are larger than my entire living room) is a bottle of Lavender Water. This is an important item which I'll get to in a bit.
Alyssa heads into the northern area of the second floor.
Trolling around her own house for a bit, Alyssa discovers a glowing magical pentagram affixed to a door leading in the direction of Nancy's room.
Being the
This goes about as well as can be expected.
If she were more observant she would have read her mother's letter more carefully.
"P.S. I started worshipping the devil while you were gone. I may be using your room for sacrificial offerings on occasion. May have shorted out your television set with goat's blood. Your loving mother, Nancy."
Following the magical static shock, you'll notice that the meter in the corner has filled slightly. This is the "Panic Meter". There is no health bar in the game, only this.
The panic meter rises every time something startles Alyssa. Things like ethereal shocks and lights flickering cause it to rise a slight bit. Getting kicked in the teeth by someone trying to kill you will make it rise greatly.
If the meter fills, Alyssa will enter "Freak the Fuck Out" mode, though the game calls it by a far less catchy "Panic Mode". Alyssa can be killed while Freaking the Fuck Out, so it's best to be avoided. I'll touch on FTFO Mode later, when it becomes relevant.
So, the primary goal of the game is not to panic. The panic meter automatically drains over time, assuming Alyssa is somewhere safe. It can also be drained quickly by use of items, such as the previously collected Lavender Water.
The Panic Meter tutorial over (there was actually a boring menu tutorial on it), Alyssa turns back to find a way to circumvent Satan's padlock.
It seems the magical glyph not only locks doors and dicks with the room's lighting, but lights cozy fireplaces. I guess it's not all bad.
Or maybe it's getting ready to seal the other door and roast Alyssa alive. Like any good malicious evil force should.
Oops. A backfire to the immolation plan. It seems opening a conduit to the infernos of hell inadvertently reduced the stone base of the fireplace to ash and fizzle out in the process. This reveals a secret passage...in a mansion? What are the odds?!
Despite just possessing flames powerful enough to disintegrate brick, Alyssa immediately mounts up and gets her sleuth on by crawling through the new opening.
She finds herself in a secret back room holding Nancy's shrine to the pillars of old.
Well, I guess it's not that baleful an affront to God. I've seen worse.
Nevermind, it seems Nancy was worshipping the Patron Saint Shibito.
An officially recognized religion in Wales, I'm told.
The head of the Shibito Saint promptly cracks and rolls off, revealing its extra-dimensional properties. This held a bottle half a foot taller than it was, as well as an unfolded letter and a complementary envelop. Just in case the note was addressed to the wrong mail listing.
With this, we have our first file. If you're familiar with Resident Evil, survival horror, or spooky games in general, you'll know nosing about in hastily scribbled notes and diaries is an integral part of the experience.
Nancy's Letter
"Read this carefully, you stupid tart. Since I guess the 'coming back here will get you bleedin' killed' earlier letter didn't send a clear message." "A tutorial? What do you think you are? My mother? Well, I guess the part about it breaking magic sigils is strangely relevant. But, I'm not buying this exorcism non-sense."
"P.S. Don't hold your breath from any more help from me ever again. Ingrate."
Alyssa now has the ability to spray holy water on targets.
Unfortunately, this doesn't have any cool effects like bursting into flames or pissing you off because your Axe power up fell off a cliff. It can be used to destroy magic sigils, like the one on the door. As well as to ward off and temporarily stun enemies. While the bottle is full, Alyssa can produce three sprays of holy brew.
The bottle can be refilled at special glowing bottles scattered about some manner of kindly traveling priest with an obsessive compulsive tendency to bless every odd bottle of fluid he came across. As well as unique lion head fountains... I'm not sure how a lions and holy water are connected; I was never big on religion. Perhaps Aslan is puking it out or some shit. I dunno.
Destroying the magical barrier, Alyssa crosses into the next corridor.
"Mum always murmured something about a 'chimp' or maybe I misheard it."
"Bloody hell. I am out of...toilet paper! I need assistance! I need... toiletries!"
Unfortunately, the Dark Gentleman's cries of help go unheard, as the door is affixed with a sigil we cannot destroy with holy water. Oh well. I'm sure there's a Reader's Digest or something. He can improvise.
Coming to the end of the hall, we at long last find Nancy's room. Nice of her to have a private suite far off by itself with its own bathroom while she sticks her daughter by the main hall every single lodger transverses going in and out.
Nancy's room doesn't have a lot going on. Well, other than it being large enough to house a family of four. Though something catches Alyssa's eye on the table.
Ah, it's the one and only picture Alyssa from when she was a child. During those awkward formative years where she had a nasty case of 'Asianitus'. Terrible infliction. It's haunted her mother into her late years.
Giving up her search for her mother five rooms in, Alyssa settles for a dated photograph as a stand-in.
"I also couldn't help leaving this place, despite the sorcery, bleeding statues, child molesters, and threats of doom. Maybe if someone wasn't such a bloody absentee parent, I'd have better sense."
"Nevermind this is a huge inn and the random clicking on objects establishes you obsessively clean everything by hand and I've search roughly a fifth of the place... I'm going to go ahead and assume the worst."
Alyssa notices something beneath her mother's covers. It feels sort of long and narrow... Rather...cylinder like. But, next to it she feels something else.
It seems to be a book of some sort. Had Alyssa been raised properly, she'd know it's a dick move to read other people's diaries.
But, since the family decided bollocks on that, she dives right in.
Oh, it's not a diary at all. It's the Dark Gentlemen Collection: Whimsical Children's Bedtime Poems. Let's read an excerpt.
"I got up at night for a cup of tea!"
"Then I discovered I really had to pee!"
"If I didn't make hurry I'd yellow my pants, you see!"
Without warning, the dubious lyrical verse evokes the dark wrath of Frédéric Chopin.
Like any teenager exposed to classical music, Alyssa proceeds to rush about, completely disoriented by the allegro assault.
She quickly rushes to the CD player on the table to attempt to find some solace in something familiar. Like gangsta rap or death metal. She finds none.
It's quite possible a rude guest in the inn is rocking out to classical music in the next room over. Certainly not enough to run around the room like you were in the middle of an earthquake.
It is even enough to cause her to run headlong into glowing passageways without looking ahead. Kids these days...
"I need some toiletries... I've sadly gone wee-wee!"Tune in next time for:
EXPLOSIONS!
TIME TRAVEL!!
CHOPIN!!!
Not featured:
A clock tower.
Bonus Content:
Nancy's Room Cutscene
Silly Japanese Mo-Cap Version of the Same Scene