The Let's Play Archive

Compute!'s Gazette

by Chokes McGee

Part 6: Chokes McGee - Beekeeper :suicide:

Let's Play Beekeeper!
July 1984, Issue 13, Vol 7


We've combined Centipede with Yar's Revenge, then took out all the parts you love and also any reliable hitboxing.

Welp, get out there and shoot some bees or shit, idk


Clicky Picture for Underwhelming Video

For the record, our official goal is to destroy around 60% of the hive at the bottom to get to the next level. I went through it once on Beginner to make sure; apparently, the difficulty levels control the speed of the game.

I will not post the Beginner run, nor am I going to play it again to fix the horribly dropped frames and stretched aspect ratio. I refuse to spend one more second of my life on this game.

The Good

Nothing. Literally nothing.

The Bad

Where do I even start on this one? The irritating buzz when you fire? The siren every time you die? The shitty hitboxing? The horrid controls? The fact that you can park in the lower right corner and blow away the entire hive because the programmer couldn't do simple row/column math?

I had more fun playing Apple Willie than this. Apple Willie. Find the person who made this game and institute a lifetime ban from programming. I don't care if they're dead, dig them up and do it anyway.

The Weird

Sadly, the intro text for Beekeeper was mixed up with the plates for this ad. A a result, the Panther Computer Corporation would soon go out of business and the former CEO would hang himself from the disgrace.

Fucking Beekeeper.

This woman's investment advantage was hairspray companies. She sold all her shares in 1989 and never had to work again.

Nope, I got nothin'

The Verdict