Part 1: Episode 1: Are You For Real?
Episode 1: Are You For Real?
Before we jump into the game, there's a little backstory to plod through. At the time, advanced 30 minute long CGI cutscenes were unheard of. This meant Cliffy would have to actually write things. And draw, I think. It's never explicitly stated who did all the art assets, but considering the credits involve Cliffy and one guy who did music, it's a safe bet he did.
With that bit of exposition, and... baffling MS Paint graphics... we are unceremoniously dumped into a back alley to begin the game proper.
And here's our game! Everything is point and click. Your mouse pointer turns into a magnifying glass if you see something that can be picked up or interacted with. There's also little bits of flavor text that pop up in the ^~-StatusBox™-~^ if you click things at random. You can't easily tell what is and isn't interactable until your mouse hits it, so I hope you like pixel hunting. Speaking of which, let's go kill a few pixels for trophies.
We pick up a piece of rubber found in a trash pile. Don't feel too grody just yet, because I think I can click on that pair of underoos on the clothesline...
Yep. So now that we have a dirty condom and someone's probably still moist underwear, let's check them out in our inventory.
Clicking on the satchel icon shows you your inventory, which is ostensibly all kept in your pajamas. You can select one item to pull out, which you will then use whenever you double click on something. Here's what we nabbed in more detail:
This strange rubber object has 'Boufs' written on the side and a string attached to it.
These could be the stupidist pair of underwear you've ever seen. You're never been one to sniff underwear, but it smells april fresh...Mystery rubber in hand and underwear in face, we march on to the next screen.
An enormous neon sign reading 'Bouf's Bar and Auto Repair' cheerily welcomes all patrons. The front of Bouf's is almost over-decorated. Two small pine bushes are planted on either side of the door. The window has a small neon sign that reads 'Spud Light' (Because if it doesn't have potatoes, it just isn't SPUD!).
Cliffy, I'm granting you a small allowance for puns with this game. Don't blow it all on the first update. From here, we can go right, left or inside. Might as well check out the bar/body shop.
Bouf's is unusually dead tonight. It's usually the hottest spot in town where all the 'lounge lizards' go to meet friends and influence people.
The door's locked, and our underwear won't open it no matter how many times I try to rub it on the knob. Not much else to do, so let's head back out and take the left path.
Although it's pretty dead here, it looks like there's some people in the buildings to the north.
I try to take a traffic cone, the game tells me that's probably illegal. Just clicking it once gives us this bit of tasteful flavor:
Oh, Cliffy... Sometimes I just want to give you a little punch to the shoulder, you little scamp. Our only paths are back to Bouf's and to the Pier. And we must press on until we have more inventory.
The pier is fairly well kept, in fact, it's quite nice compared to the alley. A closed garage fills the front of Pier 69's warehouse. The serene moonlit sky reminds you of the time you spent at the beach house last summer.
Ignoring the elephant in the room, we take the next path up to the docks.
The harbor is abandoned except for the small tugboat anchored here. The only sound comes from the waves gently lapping at the shore.
Clicking around the boat, we find something that smells raunchy. So naturally, we have to pick that shit up right away.
WHEW! Something's rotten in the state of Denmark... This blue herring must have been sitting dead in that boat for weeks! Is this some sort of phallic symbol???We got a fish. We got a dead fish. We got a smelly dead phallic fish, and we stuffed it in our pajamas. Let's go back to Bouf's.
The underwear and rubber wouldn't work on the door, but I have a good feeling about the fish.
How absurd indeed. I think I'm starting to understand the way this game thinks, and that scares me.
The 'Garage' at Bouf's looks more like an inventor's lab than an auto repair shop. Bouf leans against the north wall, arms folded.
See, the beauty of using a dream as your setting is that you don't have to worry about making sense. Want an auto body shop on the second floor of a building, with only stairs leading up? Go for it! Want to have Guile wear a toupee, have his eyes bug out like the end of Total Recall, and sort of fold himself up against a box because you can't draw very well in MS Paint? It's abstract! Everything is intentional, and this is a work of genius!
Pushing the paper wall of stupid aside briefly, we can use the talk button now. If you click the button, then click the person, you'll open up a dialogue menu where you can hold a little Q&A session. Let's click on Bouf.
Oh jesus. Cliffy, we need to have a talk when all this is over. I think I know what question I have to ask first.
Are you for real???
What a cementhead... No, but if you don't control your dreams I will be. Not to mention a LOT of other characters, friendly and unfriendly. Find a way to stop this from happening, or He might come through!!! Where am I??? In my bar, where'd ya think, Disneyland? Is this a dream or what? This kid's brilliant. Actually, yes and no. You see, your overactive imagination is starting to come to life. You've got to put a cap on it or else something bad might happen... Are you for real??? What a cementhead... No, but if you don't control your dreams I will be. Not to mention a LOT of other characters, friendly and unfriendly. Find a way to stop this from happening, or He might come through!!! Are you for real??? What a cementhead... No, but if you don't control your dreams I will be. Not to mention a LOT of other characters, friendly and unfriendly. Find a way to stop this from happening, or He might come through!!! Are you for real??? Are you for real??? Are you for real??? Are you for real??? Are you for real??? Are you for real??? Are you for real??? Are you for real???JUST ANSWER ME DAMMIT!! I have to know what the hell is wrong with your... your everything. Well that was a waste of time. I steal Bouf's jar of vaseline that's sitting beside him. That tiny thing on the box he's leaning on, at the left side of Bouf.
Yeah, that thing.
You 'borrowed' this industrial size jar of petrolium jelly from Bouf's back room. He claimed it was for auto repair, but you wonder otherwise... On the back of the container it reads 'Caution: Do not use while operating heavy machinery.' You wonder what it means by that...Which brings our inventory up to....
Next time we'll explore the right side of Bouf's. If there is something you want me to fish/lube/underwear up, post it and I will fish/lube/underwear it up... That is the heart and soul of Dare to Dream.
...
Are you for real???