Part 1: A Long, Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far Far Away...
PART 1: A LONG, LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY...[VIDEO: The Opening]
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PREPARE YOUR BODIES FOR THE THUNDERDOME.
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So, that's the situation. Ancient evil, chosen one(s), desperate struggle. We'll laugh, we'll love, we'll learn, and in the end we'll murder a zombie dragon from hell.
But first we'll need a hero. And what type of hero shall we be?
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Dragon Age: Origins lets you choose 1 of 6 origins (the clue's in the title) for your protagonist. Each origin gives us a different prologue and (very) occasionally affects things in the main plot. Sometimes there's additional dialogue. Sometimes there's bonus items. Sometimes everyone's just a dick to you because of fantasy racism.
The choice of our plucky hero's origin is in the hands of you, the viewer. You may also choose how plucky they are.
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Dalish Elf posted:
Proud of your role as one of the few true elves, you have always assumed you would spend your life with your tribe... until a chance encounter with a relic of your people's past threatens to tear you away from everything you have ever known.
CON: Oooh, check me out, I'm a true elf. Lah de dah de dah. Prancey prancey prance.
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Dwarf Commoner posted:
Born casteless in a land where rank is everything, bound as the lackey and thug of a local crime lord, you have spent your life invisible... until chance thrusts you into the spotlight, where you can finally prove whether you will be defined by your actions or your birth.
CON: Common as muck.
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City Elf posted:
You have always lived under the heavy thumb of your human overlords, but when a local lord claims his privilege with the bride and shatters your wedding day, the simmering racial tensions explode in a rain of vengeance.
CON: Heavy thumb.
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Magi posted:
Wielding a power as dangerous as it is potent, you know that magic is a curse for those lacking the will to control it. You anxiously await your Harrowing, the one chance you have to prove yourself against the demons lurking without and within. Succeed, or be slaughtered by the knights who ward against your kind.
CON: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!
[NB: Mages can be either elves or humans. Humans get more skills, elves have slightly better stats. Dwarves lack the special magical juice required.]
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Human Noble posted:
Born to wealth and power, second only to royalty, you find your training in both diplomacy and battle put to the test as your brother leads the bulk of your family's forces to war in the south.
CON: We've all seen Game of Thrones. We know how this works.
[NB: Dwarves and elves get two dedicated origins each, but humans only get one. There was going to be a Human Commoner origin, but it got taken out due to lack of time. Personally, I think it's yet more evidence of Bioware's sickening anti-human bigotry.]
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Dwarven Noble posted:
As the favored child of the dwarven king, you proudly take up your first military command... only to learn that the deadly intrigues of family and sycophants may pose a greater danger than even the battlefield.
CON: The deadliest sycophants.
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NOW WHAT?
To make our hero, I need you to pick:
An ORIGIN, from the ones listed above. Don't forget to specify human or elf for the Mage origin.
A GENDER, which mostly just affects how many people we can have sex with. Just like in real life!
A CLASS, either FIGHTER or ROGUE for the non-Mage origins. I won't insult your intelligence by explaining the difference.
A CHARACTER ALIGNMENT, so I know how many of the total dickhead dialogue options to pick.
Most popular choice wins.
Feel free to also suggest a name, face, hairstyle, hat size, lucky number, favourite colour... I'll just pick the defaults if there's no consensus on those.
Voting closes in two days, and then I'll get this show on the road.
[For the record, a canticle is a religious song, and a threnody is a song of mourning. So the opening quote is from verse 13 of chapter 8 of the song of sad songs.]