Part 5: The Great Escape

"It's a good thing you called me today, we have got to talk about the guards. They really need better training, because.. well, today's training session was just sad."



"I forbid it. You're the Princess of this country."

"I won't allow you to venture into the outside world where monsters lurk!"

"Did you not hear me about the guards? I'm really not any safer in here."

"Never go outside this Castle! Is that clear? That's all!"

"Fine, daddy! I'll just go to my room and knit or embroider or whatever the hell I'm supposed to be doing as a princess."



"No, he only says these things because he's a cranky geezer who's forgotten how to go out and have a good time."



So, this is Alena. She's a bit low on HP, but she's got a good strength and agility. I should mention that agility factors into defense power, so that's very much to her benefit. That MP total isn't going to budge, by the way.



"I think the word 'late' in there is fairly important. If she wasn't so refined, we might not be having this conversation."

"As your tutor I feel responsible for how you've turned out."



"...I know where my room is, you twit. Why do you feel compelled to tell everyone who talks to you about it?"



"I can't make that promise."



"He's lucky I can't get in there, or I might do something unladylike."



"I don't think it really counts as fixing if you're just putting up some boards. I'm not going to complain, though."



"Can't go out traveling without this. A proper hat is everything."



"You too?"

"Hey, it's what they pay me for."



"If the princess doesn't leave the castle, she might strangle someone."



"What if I asked very, very nicely?"

"I'm afraid not, your Highness."

"And if I asked very rudely?"

"I'm still afraid not.. and just afraid in general. Please don't hurt me."



"You don't know where you are, do you?"



"It'd be reckless for a junior functionary who's barely competent to know which end of a sword to hold."

"If something happens to you, I..I mean the King will be devastated."

"Oh god. I'm not dealing with this. I'd rather go rummage through the priests stuff for valuables than stand here one more minute."



"Eh. Maybe someone will want this. Finders keepers."



"You and me both, padre. It's more your problem than mine, though."



"Oh hell yes, I'm out of here."



"I'd take you with me if I could, kitty, but you're probably better off here. You're probably the first cat who's taken this logical step for catching birds."



"I, your humble servant, will accompany you also, Princess! Let's go now."

"Oh god. The last thing I need is a doddering old man and a love-sick junior bureaucrat tagging along. Are you familiar with the term 'friend-zoned'?"

"...I'm afraid not, your Highness."

"You will be."



Brey's a pretty standard wizard. He's a bit sturdier than most, but his equipment choices aren't any better than usual.



I don't know why Cristo's class is given as chancellor, but.. eh, whatever. He's a healing and buffing specialist, with practically no offensive magic. Sadly, he's got the best armor and weapon selection for most of this chapter. Unfortunately he doesn't have the strength to make much use of it.



"Ahh, freedom."



"We won't say anything if you don't say anything."



"How exactly does a medical herb qualify as armor?"

"I suppose it could be used to preserve one's modesty, Princess."

".. friend zoned. Remember that."

Even though Alena starts with more cash than Ragnar, we can't afford much at this point.



The weapon shop isn't much better, although the selection is a bit less confusing. This is the point where the game telling you whether or not a character can equip something when you try to buy it is really useful.



"If you say anything the least bit condescending you're going to be swallowing your teeth."

"I recommend you build your strength around this town first."

"Oh. Well, that's actually pretty good advice. You can keep your teeth."



"Someday, door. Someday."



"..and? What should I do at that small village?"

"Don't ask me. I'm just a retired geography tutor."



"As a nun, I'm pretty sure she's not actually allowed to do that."

"I'm sorry, I can't. I'm too old for you."

"And she's old. That's just all kinds of wrong."

"Old people need love too, your Highness."

"Yes, but I don't need to hear about it."



"Your poetry is terrible, and you are terrible."



"I really, really want to know what that sign says."



"Thank you, it was terrible out there. We're glad to be safely back home."

"Yeah, we're not staying."

You can enter, but if you do they block the entrance again and you have to escape through the window again.



"I realize this is extremely girly, but I HATE bugs."

"More properly, Princess, you should call them insects. Bugs is an inappropriate generalized colloquialism."

"Bugs. Hate them."

"What about the red slimes, your Highness?"

"Oh, they're alright."



"There's something very strange about that gopher."

"It's just proof that humans aren't the only tool using creatures."



"I'm just as glad you don't."



"Hey, I think this is the third reason that guy with the nun-fetish doesn't have a chance."



"Your singing doesn't get any better at night. Also, I'm quite sure that randomly stringing words together doesn't count as poetry."



"Well, I'm persuaded. Now we just need some money to afford some of this stuff."



"Is.. is that its' tongue?"

"Yep, pretty sure it is."

".. let's kill the shit out of it."

"You're starting to get the hang of this."



"Fascinating. Flying rodents that AREN'T squirrels."






"Okay, I think we're ready to look for that town to the east."



"Cristo, make a note. We really need a road system rather than a bunch of signs."

"Yes, your Highness."

"How do you intend to fund this project, Princess?"

"Proceeds from my monster slaying exploits."



"Good lord, what is WRONG with that dog?"

"Super-rabies, your Highness."

"Ah. So what we're about to do is merciful by comparison."



"Kid, you just made my day."

End of Update Snapshot



Alena get's Cristo's hand-me-down weapon. Note that she's got better attack and defense than he does despite the weaker equipment.



Most male characters in this game go through a period of looking like one of the Belmonts.



Brey's gained an average of about 1 HP per level. This is pretty much the pattern for him. On the plus side, at least he gets a shield!