Part 30: Post 27: In which we deal with Verdham, home of soap opera ridiculousness and storming off in a huff *once again*, and we discover a maid with a gift of grammar so bad it can predict the future.

Post 27: In which we deal with Verdham, home of soap opera ridiculousness and storming off in a huff *once again*, and we discover a maid with a gift of grammar so bad it can predict the future.


(Baloch) forgot.
(Creyney) Baloch, you're an old fool. (Baloch walks off)

designs are truly amazing. They give me a feeling that I can't describe.
Yippee! I got to cross the bridge first! I got worried when I saw that giant crowd show up.
I heard there's a huge herb garden on this side of the bridge. I wonder what the place looks like. I can't wait to see it!
I've got a bad feeling about this...

herbs?
FUCK NOT THIS PLACE AGAIN! No, I don't need any herbs.
Really? But in any case, please have a look at the Herb Garden.
Borlock would turn in his grave if the manor were to change hands. It's all Iwan's fault that this failure of a garden has come to pass.
Well, at least Borlock's dead. That's a step in the right direction.
As her childhood friend, I know why Linda left. She left town in search of Pepe. No matter how much time passed, she just couldn't forget Pepe, her true love.
It's been ages since Linda left town, leaving her husband and son behind. Wherever could Linda be now?
Lady Kaya is too nice for her own good. She even paid Iwan's bar tab. Even if Iwan was her husband once, there's still no reason for Lady Kaya to do such things.
Kaya's running the show, married Iwan previously, and isn't horrible? This is obviously Bizarro-Verdham. Or Kaya's smart enough to not get caught... that's a bit more likely, I suppose.
I understand the current master of the mansion, Kasadol, has been in poor health for some time. In spite of his devoted wife's constant nursing, he remains bedridded.
One morning when I came to temple, I came across a girl sitting with tears in her eyes. She prayed for a long time, all the while holding back her tears. And the next day, the girl, whose name was Linda, vanished.
Back when I was a little kid, a gray rain fell and turned everyone to stone. It never fell again, thank God!
Hey, I remember you! That gives us a rough timeline, you're not that old now, call it 20-30 years?
(Porta) You guys aren't... No, you can't be. That's impossible. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just surprised because you all look exactly like the people who helped save our older brother. Well, I'm sure it's nothing that you'd care about. Anyway, welcome to the herb garden. Come take a look around.
Porta! Looking good. Last time I was here, you looked like a bully.
(Eppe) If I'm not looking after him, Father quits working and starts goofing off. My mother Linda was such a hard worker, so why is Father like this?

(Iwan) not so lucky. As long as Eppe's standing guard, I can't very well goof off.
(Cherri) Stop it, Kopan. I'll play with you later, okay? Otherwise, how am I gonna be able to get you your food?
What a pleasant looking dog - so his name's Kopan? How nice!

(Eppe) There are still weeds to clear after this! It's not fair to Porta to simply quite because things got a little difficult.
(Iwan) I'll never give up! But I'm finished for the day, though. I'll continue tomorrow.
(Eppe) What do you mean, tomorrow? You haven't even finished your work for today! This attitude's exactly why Mom got fed up and ran away!
(Iwan) All right, already! I'll start working seriously tomorrow. Today's already over, thought, so... (Iwan wanders off. Then Eppe walks off in a different direction. That's 2.)

(Iwan) My son doesn't have any friends, but you look awfully familiar. Maybe I'm just imagining things.

scold me.
(Cherri) I can't just throw out all of this food. It's too wasteful.
I understand how you feel, but she told me to throw it out because it didn't taste right.
This reminds me of something from the last time I was here... but what?
(Cherri) If It's going to get thrown out anyway, why not give it to the dog? It's not fair to feed Kopan leftovers day after day, poor thing. Every now and then I'd like to feed him something decent..
All right. I'll do it. I'll let you get away with it this time.
(Cherri) All right, thanks! I'll take the food over to Kopan right away. (Cherri runs off. That's 3)
Whenever Lady Kaya cooks something that tastes wrong, it's supposed to be thrown out. If Lady Kaya discovers I didn't throw the food out, she'll scold me. But still, I wonder where Lady Kaya could have gone...

(Kasadol) can't get out of bed. Even with my body in this state, though, I still have my pleasures. The one thing that keeps me going are the daily meals that Kaya cooks for me. Cough, cough!
What was it that I'm trying to think of? A lot's happened since then, it's all kind of hazy....

(Cherri) It's one of Lady Kaya's feasts. Even we, her maids, don't get a chance to eat like that.
(Kopan) Arf.
(Cherri) That's not much of a response. You should be happier. I did a lot to get this for you.
I was playing in the garden and the owner, Mr. Kasadol, chewed me out, even though Uncle Porta the gardener never gets angry with us.

(Iwan) you just cut it out, please?
(Kaya) I'm not doing this just for your sake! I'm doing it for mine, too!
(Iwan) Aren't you living a life of luxury in that mansion? What could you be so dissatisfied about?
(Kaya) ...
(Iwan) Don't worry about me. I know it's my own fault I've turned into such a loser. Huh? You're still carrying that junk around?
(Kaya) How dare you call it junk? You sent this to me when you were a child! (Something glitters on her chest)
(Iwan) Hey, the rope on your small bottle is all frayed. You should replace it.
(Kaya) Just leave it alone. I want to leave it just the way it was back then. (Kaya saunters off, bringing us to 4)
(Iwan) Those with good memories will always look to the past when discontent with their present lives. If the past could be forgotten and Kaya would reconsider, things would be fine.
That's pretty meaningful, actually. I'm impressed.

(Kaya) out that food disaster. The garbage is empty. Where else could she have thrown it out?

(Cherri) seem well. What, you're sleepy now that your stomach's full? (Kopan slowly walks toward Cherri, then collapses) Kopan! Somebody help! Help me! What am I to do? Kopan's dying!
(Porta) If I'm going to treat him, we've got to transport him to my house first. It's better than treating him here, right?
Certainly not a bad idea. Go for it!
(Porta) Now that it's decided, let's hurry up and transport him to my house. Please could you lend a hand here?

(Porta) of its effect on a dog.
(Cherri) Poison? That can't be! Who would do such a thing? How could they? It's inconceivable!
(Porta) A dog that was healthy until this morning started to foam at the mouth and then collapsed. It happened so suddenly. The only possibility that comes to mind is that he was poisoned. But how?
(Cherri) I have no idea what's going on. What am I going to do?
Poison... what was it that I was trying to remember...
... Kaya's poisoning Kasadol. But how can I prove it? And more to the point, why do I care about this horrible, horrible town? Let's just see what these idiot townsfolk can come up with.
Hang in there, pup. I know it's painful now, but father is going to fix you right up.
(Eppe) I concur with Porta's diagnosis that it was poison, but is there anyone in this town who'd hate their dog so much that they'd want to poison it's food?
(Porta) Even if the dog did eat something bad, it wouldn't get that sick.
(Cherri) Something gone bad? No. What I fed Kopan was the food you had prepared for your husband. I know you asked for the food to be thrown out because you had erred in seasoning it, but poison?
... Cherri, Porta *isn't* Kaya. Your statement doesn't make a lot of sense.
(Porta) I can't say for certain that it was poisoned, but the dog ate Lady Kaya's cooking before collapsing, right?
(Cherri) Mistress poisoned the food? I don't believe that! It was for her own husband! Now I get it. So that's why her husband has been... I have something I want to look into, so I'm going back to the mansion for now. Please take care of Kopan for me. (Cherri runs off, bringing us to 5.)

(Cherri) the mouth and collapsed. Something terrible would've happened if your husband had eaten that, what with the condition he's in. I wonder what was in it...
(Kaya) It's my mother's secret recipe. Why did you disobey my instructions?
(Cherri) That's some wife, teaching her daughter to poison food like that.
Mother instead of wife, maybe?
(Kaya) What are you saying? I will not permit you to keep saying such ridiculous things!
(Cherri) It wasn't some random act! I'm sure your husband is bedridden because of your cooking! You only messed up the flavor because you put in more poison than usual!
(Kaya) Stop it, Cherri! If you say another word, I'll have to ask you to leave the mansion! You will never disobey instructions again. Do you understand?
(Cherri) Yes, I understand, Mistress Kaya.
(Kaya) We're finished talking. Now hurry up and get back to work. (Cherri rushes upstairs, so now we're at 6)

(Cherri) wife was lacing the food with poison. The Master wasn't recovering because his wife kept poisoning his meals. If only we could find proof, we'd be able to expose the Lady Kaya's evildoings, but the Lady is suspicious of me and won't let her guard down. I'll never be able to get any proof.
Eh, I'm in a pretty good mood. I think I'll see what I can do to help her.

(Kaya) Ouch! Darn! Today has not been my lucky day! I wish you'd quit hanging around in the front of the mansion when you've got no real business here. Oh come on! Get out of the way and clear off the street! (She ambles off to Iwan's house, dropping something along the way - that's 7)

Yoink! Let's see what she's saying to Iwan for a moment.

(Kaya) improtant right now. Could you please leave us alone?
Well, that settles that. Let's see if I can get you hung!

(Cherri) Isn't this the small bottle that Lady Kaya keeps on her at all times? This might be just the thing I need to expose Lady Kaya! Please! Lend me that small bottle!
Here, take it. Use it to destroy that bitch.
(Cherri) Thank you so much. Let me just check the contents. (Cherri runs off again! 8!)
After her!

run like that!
(Kasadol) Food tastes best fresh out of the oven. I can't wait to eat. Cough!
You don't have to hurry. Your wife's cooking isn't going anywhere. (Both the maid *and* Kasadol run downstairs! 9 & 10!)
(Kaya) Darn, the rope snapped! And on today, of all days. I can find the contents almost anywhere, though, so it's not a big problem. You're getting in the way of my cooking, so get out. I'm just about to work on the final, most essential seasoning, so...
(Kasadol) I just love seeing the silver all laid out on a table. I wonder what Kaya has made for lunch today...

(Cherri) I'll tell you all about it later, so for now, please just tell me what is in the bottle.
(Porta) It's an addictive poison. The poison attacks your system, withers your body, and eventually kills you.
... Alcohol?
(Cherri) I knew it! The Master's illness was caused by this poison, wasn't it? Thank you, Porta. I'll explain everything later. (Unexpectedly, Cherri runs off! Now we're at 11)
(Porta) Boy, she sure is busy. First she was all excited that her dog was going to survive, now she brings me a bottle filled with poison and insists that I analyze the contents.

(Cherri) with the Lady now. Don't worry, though. I won't cause any trouble for you about that bottle.
(Kaya) What do you want? I'm just starting to cook! The food won't taste very good if you guys keep hanging around. Get out, please.
(Kasadol) This is perfect. Usually, it's just my wife and I for meals, so things are rather quiet. I'm feeling good today. Every now and then it's fun to eat with a group of people. How about it? Would all of you like to join us for a meal?
We know the spell Antidote, so I'm not worried about it. Let's eat!
(Kasadol) Please sit down wherever you wish.
(Kaya) I won't do it! How could I possibly eat with total strangers?
(Kasadol) That's good. Please take your seats. (The party takes their seats) Let's eat! Help yourselves!
(Cherri) Please wait! Master, don't touch that food! It's poisoned!
(Kasadol) What? Don't lie like that! Who would do such a thing?
(Cherri) It was Lady Kaya! She cooked your food Master, and added poison to it.
(Kaya) Be quiet! Go back in the kitchen right now, Cherri!
(Cherri) No, my Lady. The proof is right here. This small bottle is filled with the poison.
(Kasadol) Kaya keeps my medicine in that small bottle and takes it with her wherever she goes.
(Cherri) It's not medicine, it's poison! The Master has not recovered from his illness because he's been poisoned.
(Kasadol) Is that true, Kaya? Have you been poisoning me while telling me it was my medicine? And on top of that, you poisoned my food?
And tampering with the food is obviously the worst part of this!
(Kaya) You're mistaken! Yes, the bottle is mine, but why would I fill it with poison?
(Kasadol) If that's the case, then drink the contents of the bottle and prove your innocence! (Kaya starts walking toward Cherri)
(Iwan) That's enough, Kaya. Drop it.
(Kasadol) What do you want, Iwan? You're in the way, so please get out.
(Kaya) Yes, leave. Get out! This has nothing to do with you!
(Iwan) I'm the one who made Kasadol sick under Lady Kaya's orders.
(Kaya) What on earth are you saying? I would not say such things if I were you!
(Kasadol) I've had enough! Kaya, I want you to leave the mansion at once! You too, Iwan! Get out of town! I don't ever want to see you again!
(Kaya) Are you through? Give the bottle back to me.
(Iwan) Well, shall we go?
(Kaya) But I don't have anything packed!
(Iwan) Leave everything behind. What we need, we can pick up along the way. (Iwan and Kaya leave together - 12 & 13, beating the previous total!)

was trying to murder her husband. Did she hate her husband so much she had to kill him?
I didn't want to believe it, but I saw the Lady Kaya leave town with that Iwan. I bet they'll never come back to this town again.
Even though I knew that Lady Kaya and Iwan had an intimate relationship, it's still hard to believe that Kaya married when she still loved Iwan.

(Eppe) home with mom that time. If you had, you wouldn't have had to suffer like this.

(Eppe) It's all right, Mother. Don't get up out of bed. I'll make some food. Mom, let's go somewhere far, far away. Just the two of us.
(Linda) What about your father?
(Eppe) I don't care what happens to father. He can just stay here all by himself!
(Linda) Well, that's not fair to him.
(Eppe) I don't care what happens to him! (Cuts back to the present)
(Eppe) Huh? Whoa! Too many herbs, I guess. Actually, it seems my father left a letter for me before he went off.
Just one last thing to check before I can leave this Godforsaken town.

(Cherri) If you had died, I'd have been left all alone. Wait a minute! What's the point in my telling you? You can't understand what I'm saying. I'm such an idiot.
Come on! Cherri! Quit messing around and get back to work! (Cherri rushes off making it an even 14)
And that, as they say, is that. Now we should be done with all of this talking! IT'S ACTION TIME!

Next time on Let's Play Dragon Warrior 7: More goddamn talking.

New Items: TinyMedal x 2,