Part 34: Episode XXIX: In Which I Could Have Sworn the Game Ended Last Update...
Episode XXIX: In Which I Could Have Sworn the Game Ended Last Update...Music: Fate (This is pretty much the official "Oh hey, remember how this was a sequel to Drakengard and not some generic fantasy JRPG...?" music. As such, it only appears...three times in the entire game...)
Sadly, that was not how the game concluded. It's time for a climactic battle between Nowe and Uncle Caim. This is definitely the best boss battle in the entire game. Not that there is a particularly high bar set for such a thing. But, it's genuinely a pretty fun, fast paced duel set to some of the best music in the game against an enemy we actually give two shits about. There's a video of the fight at the end of the update, if you're into that kinda thing.
To complete the Inuart's bastard son look, we'll be using Inuart's Long Sword for this fight. Its original owner used it all of once against Caim in a FMV where he pretty much knocked Caim on his ass and was promptly ignored in favor of our old protagonist bum rushing the Black Dragon. But, this weapon gains a huge buff against Caim in this showdown. So, it's not only fitting but also the best option for taking into battle in the duel of protagonists.
Funny, I remember some bearded guy claiming the same thing at that very spot three or four years ago. Lopped his head off and punted it down the chasm shortly thereafter. Let's see if you fair better, junior.
Caim...pretty much fights like a really powered up version of his self from Drakengard 1. He has the same basic combo with his sword that he possessed in the previous game.
He can also perform the mid-combo energy burst attack from before. This needs to be jumped over or ran away from quickly or else Nowe will end up like the roughly 15,000 imperial soldiers that got their shit pushed in by this move during the original game.
Caim can also perform his sword's old magic attack fireballs. Apparently he has leveled up enough in the last two decades to double the number of fireball blasts from three to six. Caim has also gained the ability to shoot these off from both a standing and mid-jump position. And he no longer needs to adhere to that pussy ass magic meter nonsense. Middle-aged Caim can fire these off all day long. Luckily, they are one of the few attacks that are blockable.
So, Urick has decided to pay Nowe back for ditching him in the fight against Caim at the beginning of the chapter (where he almost definitely got his ass kicked and killed again) by sitting this one out. I guess it would be silly to have a guy that resurrects every time he dies to be playable in a boss battle. Nevermind the 12 times he died in that godawful Yaha fight and I got a Game Over. Now he's revealed in the plot to be immortal, so it wouldn't make sense! See, gameplay consistency!
It's worth noting that Manah is available for this boss battle. However, she has a massive de-buff against Caim and is about as effective as one of those Imperial Conscript child soldiers from the first game. Hell, she doesn't even have anything to say during this battle other than crying out in dismay if Nowe gets gutted and dies.
The one-eyed man has been brushing up on new techniques introduced in Drakengard 2. For instance, he's studied that ground pound move of Nowe's and improved it a bit. And by "improved" I mean "jump twenty feet and hit the ground so hard it causes a massive explosion." Unfortunately, this new maneuver is Caim's big flaw in his attack pattern, as it can be rather easily jumped over and countered with Nowe's own ground pound move. As such, the boss battle can easily devolve into the two of them just leaping through the air and trying to counter slam each other to death.
You know you can just ask me this kinda shit instead of wondering aloud like a spaz. I'm mute, not deaf, jackass. And the answer to that is 'yes, if that breaks the stupid Seal' and 'the hell is a district?'
Yeah, sure. I feel under the weather if I don't meet my weekly murder quota. But I'm well above par this week thanks to all the Union cannon fodder lining up. You pricks are just gonna be icing on the cake.
Caim's final attack is just a huge ass fireball that hits like you'd expect a huge ass fireball tearing across the arena would hit. Inuart's sword has an ice affinity and magic attack in contrast to Caim's fire based magic. Not that we'd know that from the first game, considering we fought Inuart a grand total of never.
"Actually, we went through a lot of trouble gaining favors from merchants by finding ancient hidden relics in one of the districts in order to gain information on where you were hiding. We then flew out several hundred miles all the way there and scoured the city until we came across you in that alley..."
"...I did say 'or something like it'. Sheesh!"
This would require Nowe to think for himself occasionally. Which has happened...hmm...let's see... Once! Right now: Fighting Caim for no real reason other than to prevent a conflicting goal that will not be resolved by fighting said adversary.
A bit more battle later...
Yup. You totally got me. Good job, junior!
"I won't let you kill Urick to achieve an identical goal that only can be accomplished by killing Urick!" ...The fuck is this kid even talking about? This is getting annoying.
Alright, ya little prick. You had your boss battle fun. Good for you! Now let's see what happens when we play for keeps...
Caim is not actually fazed at all from that boss battle and rushes forward to take Nowe's seldom used noggin off his shoulders. However...
URICK OUT OF FU-
...Yeah, so that probably could have gone better. Nowe's still alive. Urick...uhh...
...Not so much. I think at this point, "Death by Caim" is a check box in coroner autopsy reports in Drakengard's world.
Now where were we...?
Oh what the fuck now? Can't I just kill anyone today without any stupid shit for once?! Bleed. Fall over. Dead! It's not that hard!
Urick has gone into full blown zombie mode following his clash with the business end of Caim's blade. Again, why couldn't he do this in the boss battle with the gnomes? It would have been a touch more helpful then...
Umm....'kay? That's new... Lemme see... Dude just rose from the dead... What to do...what to do... Ah! I gotta plan...
KILL HIM AGAIN! 
...Huh. That's the first time that hasn't worked. Well, let's try mixing it up and...
RIP...
...AND...
...TEAR!!
...Ha!
"...Th-That the best you got...?" Oh this is just pissing me off right now! You know what nobody, not even the undead gets up from...? Learned this trick a while ago. Lemme show ya...
Caim proceeds to stab Urick straight in the dick...
...This kills Urick so hard that Death itself is slain in the process. Well, it took 42 years but Caim finally did it. He murdered someone so hard it took out the Grim Reaper itself. Congratulations!
However, even with his pact partner destroyed and a foot of steel cutting into his crotch, Urick has one last bit of strength and...
Oh...BUUUUULLLLLL-
-SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!
Caim Full Boss Battle
Post Caim Battle FMV (You should definitely watch this.)
Caim vs. Nowe Artwork - Nowe looks like he's slipped on some ice and is about to faceplant on the ground.