Part 47: Episode XLII: In Which I'd Rather Be Playing Psychonauts

Episode XLII: In Which I'd Rather Be Playing Psychonauts


...WHAT?!


Shut the hell up, kid. Unless you want my lalala foot up your narrow ass.
"Is that...me?"


"Where are you taking me!? If you hate me so much, go ahead and kill me now!"
You ain't getting off that easy, pipsqueak. Not after all that bullshit! The fuck was that turning 500 feet tall garbage?! That was the most retarded thing I'd seen all month and I saw giant cyclops monsters with scaffolding for hats and Inuart trying to act tough.
"What do you want from me?! Say something dammit!"
I swear to god... The next decent hunk of solid wood I find, I'm carving 'shut the FUCK up' in the side of it and beating you in the head with it until it gets through...


"Stop! Please forgive me! Don't be mean to me! Mummy!"
Your stupid ass mom is dead. Deal with it! My mom got stepped on by a dragon and you don't see me whining like a little girl.
"But I AM a little girl."
And I'm friggin' DEAD. Cry me a goddamn river, blondie.
"Mummy... Mummy..."
And a mummy is some retarded zombie thing wrapped up in toilet paper that makes your sword smell all musty when you cut it in half. It's MOMMY Goddammit! There's an 'o' not a 'u'! Damn kid can't even whine in her head properly. And where'd you get that half-assed British accent from anyway?! Knock it off. God! I'm going back to being dead. If I have to be in another memory...flashback...dream...subconscious WHATEVER bullshit of yours, I'm gonna kick you in the ovaries!

Verse 4: The Watchers - Music: Fate


Oh hey, we're back in Manah's palace in Imperial Notspain from the end of the first game. Or at least a representation of it in her mind. Uhh...still not quite sure how the hell Nowe managed to jump into Manah's head. And they're not even going to attempt to explain how in the hell that works. So just go with the flow...


Well it is a bit different than the last time we were here. The walls seem to have a rather apt suggestion for our invader of Manah's subconscious. Also big red doors. I want to paint them black.


There's also graffiti of giant teddy bears painted in blood. That's cute. I'm pretty sure all this graffiti was found scribbled in a few corridors of the Sky Fortress in the original game. It's weird the few times this game decides to be an actual sequel to Drakengard 1, it puts a bunch of effort into making it pretty neat. And then the new stuff comes back in force and it gets extra terrible. It's going to get extra, extra terrible after this event...






Anyhow, the child version of Manah is standing around in the chamber. Should Nowe run up to her, she'll giggle and teleport to another point in the room. We basically need to repeatedly chase her around to trigger the next cutscene.

Nowe finally catches up with the child Manah...




"You don't have to be a good girl. I want you to be yourself."
"Your mother sucks cocks in hell, Nowe, you faithless slime."
"I don't have a mother. I had two fathers, though!"
"Fag!"
"Hey, that's not nice!"
"Neither is your needle dick. But you still want to stick it in my body, don't you?"
"I don't like this talk."
"Then go dry hump that dragon of yours some more. We know you've got an erection every time you ride with it."
"That's not true!"
"Then why are you blushing?"
"I'm not blushing!"
"Too easy, human plaything."


"Give Manah back to me!"


Alright, now we have to sever all of Manah's emotional trauma... By beating the shit out of it. In her mind.


And to do that, we'll need to combat a horde of knife wielding Manah demons. Uhh...sure. Why not?


There are an infinitely spawning swarm of Manah demons flooding into the area. Only one of them is the real deal. But all of them have very sharp knives that will very much harm Nowe's err...astral projection into Manah's mind or...whatever the hell is going on in this mission. Unfortunately for Nowe, dying in the dream will not wake him up in reality. He'll just die. I'd like to think back in reality that Manah and Nowe are just standing stone still, staring off into space and drooling while Eris and Legna wonder what in the hell happened to the two of them.


Most of the Manah clones just rush in and stab Nowe in the groin. Only one of the horde is the real boss. It's pretty easy to pick it out of the crowd. It's the one that has its health go down along with the boss meter on the left hand side. it's also a lot stronger than the lesser Manah demons and can do crazy ninja flips to stab Nowe in the eye.


It also has a flower petal teleportation/shield. No "lalala" to go along with it, though. I am very disappointed by that... Drakengard 2: Disappointment the Game.


"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
"I'm so sorry."




The chief Watcher can also float into the air and fire off a massive burst of unblockable energy at Nowe. It needs to be knocked out of the air with Nowe's own magic or else he'll receive a face full of mind flare. And that is...pretty much all the attacks the boss possesses. There are still a few other things going on during the mental battle.

The Watchers' health falls to 66% and the screen flashes to a new location...


"Is it you that I seek? Is it I that seek you?"
"Love me."
"Love me, please!"


We've now got a creepy horde of red eyed silhouettes under a blood red sky serving as the audience for the battle. It's just a wee bit unsettling.


Also flying stuffed kittens. Since cats are just kind of sort of assholes...


Also floating beds. Since Seere always got the top bunk since he was a little brown-noser and Manah was the reject.

The Watchers' health falls below 33% and the area shifts again...


We're now transported to some creepy vein filled mess inside Manah's brain. Perhaps Nowe is so stupid that he's actively invading other people's minds and murdering their brain cells. Maybe the real Nowe is just violently shaking Manah and screaming her name in her face and this is a visual representation of what it is doing to her psyche.


"We are irritated by when a tool fails to know its place and return to the shelf."
"I am not your tool."
"Indeed..."
"That is more lik-"
"You appear to be EVERYONE's tool."
"You know what? You are...you are a...a...a big jerk!"
"We take pleasure in watching you struggle to articulate yourself."
"Sorry, Manah. It might hurt, but I have to do this!"

The Watchers are defeated...


"You think this stops us? We are legion. We are the beginning and the end of this world. We are fate. We are the inevitable outcome."
"I don't care about you. I only want Manah back."
"This toy is but one. She can be replaced by any other sheep of your kind. This changes nothing!"
"Whatever! Like I care. Just get lost. Gosh!"




"You can be with me. Would that be such a bad thing?"
"I want to go back..."
"Come back to me!"
"I'm gonna come back."
"Come on, Manah!"
"I am coming!"
"Come!"
"JUST GO ALREADY! We're bloody done with you!"




"I..."
"Don't be afraid. You conquered your weakness. Let's go home, Manah."

Back to reality...


"Thanks..."
"Though uhh... WHERE are we...? Why does the air feel so thin? I can barely breathe. And...are those blocks floating...? What on earth...? And my gods...the sky!"
"Err...it's a long story."
"Well done, Nowe."
"I am a bit confused as to what you actually did. But her eyes aren't bugging out of her head and she no longer has a man's voice so... Nice work?"
"Nowe, I thought you told me she died..."
"Very long story..."


"Your work here is done, correct? Then help me do my work. There's a place I need you to take me to. Now that my ship is gone, I must rely on your dragon for transportation."
<snort> "At what point did people cease asking me for permission to hitch a ride...?
"Why didn't you just fly there on your ship in the first place...?"
"Well I..."
"Err..."
"...Anyway, what do you say?"


"To the Promised Land, the place to restore order to the world."

The Promised Land, huh? First I ever heard about this... But, I guess that's where the final level is gonna be located... Sure... Why not?


Since Manah has had her possession and childhood trauma forcefully beaten out of her brain, she now rejoins the party.


And the newly not dead Eris finally gets back on the team to use that massive stockpile of idle spears and lances we've been collecting since she left at the end of Chapter 2. Too bad there are literally 0 proper ground missions left in this playthrough to ever utilize her... Drakengard! 2!











Verse 4 Cutscenes




Manah Demon Concept Art - It looks like it's blasting a wicked fart in that middle drawing.


Possessed Manah Poster - Aww. The Watchers just want a hug!