Part 84: Episode LXIII: This is a Story About the Spoils of War

Episode LXIII: This is a Story About the Spoils of War



Verse 3: Quest for Gems
Music: Pulchregeist - Battleground

We resume Four's journey at... oh for fuck sake it's the desert map again! God DAMMMIT, NO!



Today's session of meandering goals in Four's rather aimless campaign will be to collect hidden gems. Sure, why not? Really, think about it. One was out training her clone brother. Two was having a lovers' murder roadtrip before being interrupted by a zombie outbreak and the children in her care getting turned into a sentient pudding monster. Three was tasked with cleaning up her experiments. Four is... just kind of wandering around doing shit vaguely at One's behest. Something something justice...



Such glittery prizes would look splendid on you, Lady Four.
Stop. I'm not the sort of woman who expresses herself with baubles. Jewelry means nothing to me. But we can sell them to fill One's treasury, so we need to do this.

A little bit of the old war profiteering, eh? Gotcha! Let's do it.



Thankfully the heat/cold gimmick of the beloved area is absent this third go around. Though, I do think Four just might be slightly overdressed for the occasion. You could at least take the big dopey jacket off your shoulders. C'mon. You're not in the Land of Mountains anymore. I can't even remember the last time anyone was there.



We'll begin by searching near our enemies. Humans always hide their valuables, but never stray too far.

So we have to seek out ten chests scattered across the desert. All of which have their valuable contents' guarded by a handful of enemies. Mercifully, all the chests are marked on the map and again we are not dealing with a constant energy drain on Four like we did with Zero's two treks through this wasteland. So it's not too much of an ordeal.

The first chest to plunder for riches is just up ahead guarded by a pair of soldiers taking shelter from the sun.



Oh this ain't over... It ain't even started!
This one's for my brother!



Step aside, people. Four and Decadus just need to liberate the treasure from the evil lord's clutches. Why don't you understand One's new vision?



By the way, nice job forgetting to translate the message for unlocking the chests. Just a minor oversight gaff there. It is not like it pops up nearly a dozen times during the course of the mission or anything.





To the western part of the map, up in one of the temples where pesky wizards love crafting player irritating spells, rests another one of the chests. This one is among the most heavily guarded of the chests to collect, so best to knock it out early.



This is mostly due to a trio of sand ogres hanging out with the wrong crowd. That seedy crowd being flesh puppet possessing spirits. I think I made it quite clear that it's best not to let spirits and sand ogres play together. Fortunately, Four's combat bracer style lends itself well to beating ghosts the hell out of possessed victims in short order.



Once the ogres and ghosts are mopped up, Four is free to raid another war chest to add to the Intoner trust fund. Or really, Four can just run in, nab the shiny stones, and run out like a big jerk. The majority of the chests don't actually require the enemies to be slain. It just makes it easier to have enough breathing room to break open the sealed boxes.



You can see the map in the upper right corner marking all the chest locations. I guess Gabriella did a fly-by to give us some aerial recon prior to the mission. Or it's a video game. Take your pick. We began the mission in the southernmost part of the map and raided the chests just north of there and in the structure to the westernmost portion of the area. Let's continue our east and finish up north at the Shrine of Sands.

First up we have a few strangler soldiers chilling out with some resurrected skeletal compatriots in the shade. Nothing awkward about that.



After that is a chest guarded by some wolves. Surely they were aligned with the local villainous regent and Four isn't just rushing into a pack's den to steal some shiny stones. That would be ethically questionable and Four is fully on the righteous side of justice.



We're dealing with an Intoner here.
We've got to go all out!
All men, take positions!

You know it's entirely possible some of the infantrymen stationed in these remote desert outposts haven't gotten word their leaders have been brutally murdered surrendered and no order to stand down has been issued. Maybe they just word of Murder Vocaloids running around like maniacs kicking holes through people is all that ha--and they're all dead. Nevermind.



My sisters and I are staking everything on this fight. Soon, One's unwavering spirit will bring a great revolution across the world.
Soar for me, Gabriella! The world's future lies upon your gossamer wings!
Ew, no. I'm not helping anyone who talks like that. I already can't take this heat. The hot air pouring out of your blowhole is only making it worse! I'm gonna go sack out in the shade. Don't call unless you're dying.

Pfft! Hahaha. Can I have a Drakengard 2 remake that swaps out Legna for clearly superior black dragon Gabriella?



A lone sand ogre is guarding the next treasure chest. Do the sand ogres also align themselves with the evil lords or are we just straight up murdering and robbing indigenous tribes for their riches. Are are we just going "Pfft... Ogres aren't people. It's fine."



Damn! That witch won't let up!
I-If this keeps up we're all gonna die...
You know the drill, right?
Of course, let's do it!
That Intoner killed our friends. It's time for payback!
Damn straight it is! Keep fighting til the end.

The easternmost temple is full of a holdout of lancers, swordsmen, and archers all filled to the brim with hate for our Intoner. Four simply has no choice but to wipe away their prejudices by caving their faces in and stealing away with their valuables.



They're pretty, aren't they?
They look stunning on you.
You... you think so? I mean, not that I care! ...Because I don't.
Of course, my lady. Such gaudy flair is beneath you.
Yes. Still, an Intoner SHOULD try to maintain a certain level of fashionable decorum.
Oh, here we go! You're just waiting for him to tell you to keep one or two for yourself so it seems like it wasn't your idea in the first place, right? Girl, you are SO predictable.

I like that Gabriella's primary purpose this mission is to just chill out in the shade and only tune in to shit on the protagonist at opportune times for laughs.

...

Hey, isn't that my job?



We're getting there. The last three chests are all situated outside the Shrine of Sands to the north. One of 'em is guarded by another pair of sand ogres. Perhaps the gem stone has deep religious significance to the desert nomadic folk. Too bad, One needs an extra toilet installed in Brone's tower so cough up the shiny.



The second chest outside the shrine is hidden in some ruins surrounded by imps. Not even going to defend the killing of imps to raid their treasures. This LP takes a hardline "fuck imps!" stance.



The Intoner is here!
That dirty murder... She's the lowest form of scum!
Our fallen comrades demand revenge!

The final treasure chest is being guarded by some wizards. I have no problem with curb stomping wizards in this area on sheer principle. I don't care if those wizards were planning on fleeing with that gem to go sell it off and fund the opening of an animal shelter for pets whose masters were slain in the war against the Intoners. I'm still sore about the energy draining gimmick versions of this stage.



Speaking of which, gathering the last gem of the ten marked on the map does not yet end the mission.





The gates to the courtyard outside the Shrine of Sands open with the gathering of all ten gems. And with it the goddamn fake magic sun spell gets cast upon the land. We are NOT dealing with that again, game!



I couldn't be better.
I should have guessed. You probably see this as some kind of torture game, don't you?
N-No, my lady. I'm not--uuunnngh--not getting any pleasure from this is all...
Don't deny it. I'm well aware that all you think about is... that kind of thing. It's dirty!
D-Dirty!? Ohhh, look at your eyes... Such disgust and hate... Uuuunnnggghhh!
Cease this at once! You're going to get sweat all over me! How can a man of your age be so immature?
Oooh...
You two are a perfect couple. I bet you're way more alike than you know. Two peas in a pod! Ha!







In this last area we have three golems and four wizards to deal with to end the mission. The wizards should be priority one as if they are left unattended for too long they will commune in summoning the health draining sun once again and I don't think I, or the game's framerate, can abide that continuing.







With all the blood mopped up from getting our atatatatata on against the wizards, a combination of choice Intoner mode use and some support from Gabriella should be enough to topple the three golems camping outside the shrine. Got to clean the place up for Two and Cent's future home like a good little sister, right. Even if she is a half dressed hussy drooling all over her man, a disciple no less, like a vulgar dog.





The death of all wizards and automatons will open a gate revealing an eleventh chest to pilfer the spoils of war from within. Still didn't fix that untranslated message, huh...?



And now that we have fully pillaged all valuables from the area, the penultimate mission of Four's Prologue begins. Tune in next time when Four is put to the task of direct diplomacy with the ever elusive elvish folk. It'll be one for the text books to be sure!







Video: Four's Prologue Verse 3 Highlight Reel



Decadus Concept Art - Nice butt shield under that coat.