Part 10
I walk down the hallway jauntily, my ego bursting at the seams so that not even my hyper-elastic special order bikini top would be able to contain it. Hell, it barely contains my massive rack as it is. That's the way I like it.
Halfway to the door marked "EXIT", however, the floor drops out beneath me. I hang on to the crumbling floor as hard as I can, but moments later, the soft material bursts into flame sending me catapulting into the depths below.
And he said there was no fire. <
![](../Smilies/mad.gif)
>
![](10-1-ruins.jpg)
I land on hard clay in the middle of a ruined temple, and stand up just in time to get hit with a motherfucking axe.
![](10-2-ruins2.jpg)
This dungeon is short and sweet -- basically, the best offense is a good defense. In short, run like hell.
(If you're wondering where I am in this screenshot, I accidentally took the shot in the "off" state of a flashing magic item. Oops.)
![](10-3-gargon.jpg)
DRAGON EXPLORER.
Finally a boss that not only looks impressive but is also marginally difficult. Those fireballs
hurt, and there are a ton of them. Not only that, but he moves around quite a bit in and out of that corner, so you can't very well get behind him.
![](10-4-nonetheless.jpg)
Nonetheless, I kick his scaly ass. As the life fades from his glassy eyes, I whisper softly and slyly, "Happy New Year, love dumpling.
![](../Smilies/emot-whore.gif)
"
On my way out, I step on his neck.
![](10-5-dungeon2.jpg)
The stairs lead into a dungeon that looks suspiciously like the dungeon I was locked in by that vicious Rose creature. It reminds me of the muscle-bound hero and I sigh, shuddering. My step quickens in hopes that I might find him in the nearest village. The chances aren't great, but I'm sure a brave adventurer like him would be famous all over the world, let alone the kingdom.
![](10-6-finally.jpg)
And finally, the sweet smell of grass and the wind rushing through the trees. The stone huts remind me of paradise, and the birds singing on the rooftops afford me a moment's respite from the terrors I had witnessed. My first stop is the castle to find out exactly where I am, and to ask the questions I deserve answered.
![](10-7-guards.jpg)
![](../Smilies/emot-cop.gif)
: Ooooh, damn. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
![](../Smilies/emot-j.gif)
: Hey fellas, have you seen a large, oiled He-man around here?
![](../Smilies/emot-cop.gif)
: Yeah, just about three hours ago.
![](../Smilies/emot-j.gif)
: Oh yeah? Where did he--
![](../Smilies/emot-cop.gif)
: Oh SHIT. Let me try that again. Ask me if I've seen any large, oiled He-men again.
![](../Smilies/emot-j.gif)
: ... Have you seen any--
![](../Smilies/emot-cop.gif)
: RIGHT HERE, BABY.
![](../Smilies/emot-j.gif)
: ...
![](10-8-king.jpg)
![](../Smilies/emot-hitler.gif)
: Why, Princess Iko! What brings you to our kingdom?
![](../Smilies/emot-j.gif)
: A fucking giant rose. And don't think I don't appreciate it. <
![](../Smilies/mad.gif)
>
![](../Smilies/emot-hitler.gif)
: Yeah, that guy's great for tourism.
![](../Smilies/emot-j.gif)
: So where's that hunky fighter?
![](../Smilies/emot-hitler.gif)
: In the bar or something I don't know who cares it's dinner time get out
The two talked for hours. Meanwhile...
![](10-9-fighter.jpg)
![](../Smilies/cool.gif)
: fuck this i'm tired of waiting. no woman is worth this. i'm loaded and i want to kill some motherfucking demons. eat shit, princess cocktease
t
And just moments afterwards...
![](10-10-bar.jpg)
![](../Smilies/emot-j.gif)
: Hey, where did all the manmeat go?
Next Time: More of the badass fighter and his badass ass-kickery.