The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Boatmurdered

by Various

Part 20: by Bremen

This morning I found the mangled body of a fellow dwarf in the hills outside of the capital, surrounded by elephant tracks. I didn't think he'd be complaining, so I emptied out his pockets.

I knew it was going to be a lucky day for me this morning, before the guards found me sleeping in the back of the warehouse and kicked me out. Not only was this guy loaded, but he had a piece of paper directing him to take charge of one of the colonies, some place named "Boatsmurdered". Whoever named that must have had a wierd sense of humor.

Well, I figured the place had never seen the guy's face, so I took the paper (and the money, of course) and started following the directions on the piece of paper.

I finally found the place. The directions lead me through a hidden passage that looked strangely like an escape tunnel. It wasn't till I got inside and tried to find out who was in charge that I found out why. It seems that this place is under siege by a combined force of goblins and Elephants, and the last ruler dug the tunnel to escape. It sounded like a good idea to me, but when I tried to open the door to the escape tunnel the whole thing collapsed. Guess I'm in for the duration.

Everything's in chaos here, no one can go outside because of the elephants and goblins. The dwarves kept acting like I should know what to do, so I told them to dig some fortifications we could shoot outside from. The other dwarves informed me, to my surprise, that the goblins had bows too. It was a frightening concept and made me long for the escape tunnel. But I had already noticed the other dwarves skeptical looks at me so I ordered them to do it anyway and said it would all work out.

While I was working on excavating the tunnel this morning, a bunch of dwarves ran in. I panicked and tried to hide the tunnel, but they all grabbed me and ran for the main hall. I was begining to regret my deception when I noticed everyone was cheering.

Turns out the goblins all left, they probably got bored or something. Everyone else thought I'd known about it from the beginning, though, and now that the fortifications were almost done we were in a perfect position to deal with the elephants.

Between the military and a ballista, we managed to kill some of the elephants and force the rest away from the fortress. I've declared today a national holiday.

With the fortress safe, I finally got around to asking how much this job pays. All the other dwarves looked puzzled and they finally explained to me that they don't use money, and that everyone just works together. There's no way I'm going to keep risking my life in a fortress surrounded by goblins and elephants, so I ordered the smiths to start minting coins and sent a request to the capital for a bookkeeper.

We've also sighted an elven caravan approaching. I wonder if they'll mind the fact that the entrance to our fortress is surrounded by the rotting bodies of elephants and dwarves.

I commisioned this bracelet in honor of our victory. Well, actually I didn't so much comission it, when I went to visit the craftsman he was babbling about dead cities and the awakening of the ancient gods, or something. Also I have no idea where these cheese comes in, but I'm not going to question it.

In other news, I traded some stone trinkets to the elves for berries and cloth. It turns out all the trade goods were out in the depot since no one could bring them back in, what with the elephants and all.

I've taken steps to make sure the elephants never menace this fortress again. The others think I'm paranoid, but they're all fools. The elephants will return, and unless we're ready they'll trample every last one of us to dust!