Part 50: by Doctor Zero

BoatMurdered - 1062 Spring

Well, after a night's sleep (not so good. Olin was right - you can hear those damned elephants all over the fortress) I was ready to take on the full responsibilities of the job. I found out that the cat lady's name is Kib. After looking through the records, I find she has no fewer than 20 cats. That's 8% of all the animals in the fortress and 30% of all the cats. I... really don't know what to say about that, but I've ordered another 20 bags of sand to be collected. I don't want those things shitting all over the place.

Also in looking over the records, I see that nobles comprise 31% of all the dwarves
in this place. Seems a lot of dwarfs have died to various invasions, attacks, disasters, and "accidents". I count 33 coffins, but I don't think they are all full. There are also 4 "corpses" listed in the fortres' assets. I don't want to, but I should look into that eventually and ensure they aren't dwarven.

Let it be shown that there is one dwarf currently incarcerated in the prison. One erith Uristkeskal, recruit, for violation of a production order. I don't recall a lot of my Cavern Production Management Systems class, but I'm pretty sure the military wasn't expected to produce anything but dead bodies. I was going to pardon her, but she only has 3 days left and she seems content anyway. I guess I shouldn't seem too easy on crime or whatever it is she did to piss someone off.

Note to self:
- Get Farms working
- Get someone to gather plants
- Talk to some of these nobles outside my door complaining about not having their needs met
- Get some clothes on these people

First thing as I come out of my door, I get the metal smiths complaining that they have orders for pig iron and no limestone. They are quite annoyed by it. I assured them that I'd get someone to cut some limes right away if they keep the pigs restrained. It seemed to quiet them down, but they walked away with some strange looks on their faces. They probably aren't used to such responsiveness.

In looking for the lever to the farm, I found something that might be it nearby. It might also flood the seige workshop, but I'm not exactly sure why that would be a good thing. There are channels, so the fortress should be safe. But in looking for someone to pull the thing (my academia career has left me a little.... scrawny and these levers appear to weigh about 200 pounds) I notice that there are no peasants. Not one. Given the high percentage of nobles, I'm beginning to suspect something is amiss around here. The good news is I'm pretty sure I found the Dwarven Doomsday lever, which is, thankfully, no where near the farms. Although I wouldn't put something like that past these people. (well, sure enough it flooded the siege workshop. Ah well. I might have to just build a new lever unless I can find it soon.)

I finally found the lever! There was a cow standing over it. *sigh* Anyway, this is great news, because that means we will have some mud to till!

I've also begun to go over the standing work orders and try to rearrange them according to Dworkis' Underground Rules of Productivity. I've gotten through the farmers now, and normalized their work queues. I'd like to get the other jobs stable (like getting the metalsmiths doing something). Speaking of that I took a peak in my unused Metalsmithing for Dummies book and found out what Pig Iron is. Boy is my face red. I'll have to play it off like it was a joke when I see the metalsmiths next.

Another interesting note. The records appear to be incorrect. I'll have to explain Thibdul's Law of Inventory management at the next staff meeting. It seems we have almost twenty elephants in cages. Man, the way they look at me while I did the hand count is CREEPY.

5th Granite

Ahhh. Things are going just like they taught me in Kinmelbil Community College. The jobs are normalized, although some dwarves have yet to really get into their new streamlined roles, but now the only idler is the wounded farmer. I've also begun to order up some more warhounds as the military presence (or lack thereof) is a bit scary.

9th Granite
A goblin snatcher picked the wrong place to approach the fortress.

An Elven Caravan Arrives! I can't wait to see our noble neighbors. I've never seen an elf. Perhaps they have brought us some elvish delicacies or wine!

And they brought a friend!

And with that, I decided to take a quick nap before the elves arrive! Hooray! Elves! I want to be well rested for them!

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StarkRavingMad posted:

I love that Boatmurdered has turned into some sort of horrendous evil eyesore on the continent. I'm picturing groups of hardy adventurers gearing up to assault the place just based on the barren ash-and-skeleton filled landscape in front of it.

Also, I love that the place has become so complex and messy that literally no one knows how everything works anymore. The part where there is a lever to flood the siege workshop for no apparent reason really cracked me up.