Part 35: Update Thirty Four: Bit On The Short Side, Eh?

Good evening, folks! Welcome back to another episode of Earthbound; last time, we weaved our way through Moonside and destroyed the Mani Mani Statue. Today, we're going to do just a couple of quick things (and I mean quick). So, let's get started.





The illusion device was destroyed.)

With Mani Mani crushed, the power it wielded over Monotoli and Fourside should be waning, if not entirely dissipated.



Numbness persists after battle. The effect of Nass sliding around like the ground is freshly waxed linoleum and he is wearing only socks is purely cosmetic, but it's nice visual short-hand for numbness.



Were you daydreaming?)

Kind of, Mr. Mouse. Though, if you were back here the entire time, does this show that animals are immune to Mani Mani's effects? Or is it just certain individuals who aren't affected?



Apparently, none of the patrons or the barman noticed we were wandering around in the backroom, drooling on ourselves. Maybe we should have filched some merchandise while we were back there.



Oh, yeah, the phone starting ringing, too.



: Maybe you won't, but anyway... it's called the "Gourmet Yogurt Machine." It makes many different flavors of yogurt. The only problem is, right now, it can only make trout-flavored yogurt... So I'm having the machine delivered to you via Escargo Express. It's coming "Neglected Class."

Jesus, Apple Kid, can't you beg someone else for cash so you can hire a real delivery man? Hell, you could even have me wire you the money. I'd be perfectly fine with that!



: Uh, I'vegotsomeproblemsheregottago, bye!

Uh-oh. I bet it was a machine that made Chicken In A Biskit not taste like crap. Truly, a noble endeavor.



Alright, let's get out of here.



Ooh, a monkey!



Wait, monkey, don't ignore me! Susan has gum!



Jesus Christ, monkey, no!



Well, to be fair, you aren't even a man. A delivery monkey would be better, though.



Possibly? Unless you guys are wearing a bow or some other goofy headgear, I can't tell you all apart.



: Kyu ukyo uki (and now wants to meet you) Uko uke kauike (at the west end of Dusty Dunes desert) Kekoi kiko ukkeke (in a cave with lots of monkeys.)

Now, that sounds like a cave that I can get behind.



: Kya (Bye!)

You can teleport!?



Now, you guys see the process start. What you're missing is the crunch as soon as he disappears off screen.

: Susan, is he okay?

: I'm not a biologist, but I don't believe even simian limbs are supposed to turn and twist like that.



Dammit, man, we have no time! Monkey down!





: Whew! I just got here from Dusty Dunes desert. There was this sunbathing guy, and he told me about a cave with lots of monkeys...

:...Speaking of those monkeys, look about twenty feet over there.

: Or was it orangutans? Anyway, he said... well... uh... I forgot. Yep, I forgot... actually, I forgot the stuff I was supposed to deliver, too. I think it was a weird machine to make trout-flavored yogurt.

Why can't anything ever be easy for our heroes?



: so don't ask me to get the package... I mean, it's your package, right? So YOU go get it! Go on, get out of here. Maybe that thing I forgot is important to you... So... have a good time in the desert!...



Jesus, what a douche. I wouldn't mind his job, though. It seems pretty cake to be incompetent as hell.



Oh, Goddammit! MONKEY DOWN, PEOPLE!



: trout-flavored yogurt to give to our special guest. If you know anything about it please tell me! I've been searching and searching...



And she scampers off, presumably talking to herself.

: Hey, the monkey's gone...Did he actually teleport?

: Hopefully to a veterinarian of some sort. Speaking of which...How's your numbess doing?

: I'm numb in spots I didn't know I had.



So, let's go get that taken care of.



It's $90 to get feeling returned; I considered using my Secret Herb, but I'd rather save it just in case. There are far nastier status effects than numbness.



Alright, let's go get that yogurt machine.



Oh, for fuck's sake!



: be a good idea if you took a break?

: Yeah, probably. But, Kim was--

: All right. You should find a place to stay in the nearest town. When you get to the hotel, be sure to give your dear ol' dad a call. And, hey, keep an eye out for bad guys!



Alright, screw it, we're going to the hotel. Monkeys can wait. I guess.





Alright, we're all rested. We've got what we need.



But, first, we're going to call Dad. He's caring enough to remind us to rest, so it's the least we can do.



And he's made us hella-rich!



Seriously, Nass' dad has to be one of the nicest video game dads ever.



: Night, Dad. But, I've gotta keep going. Kim...Kim needs us.

: Nass, you like to work hard, just like your mother. But, I don't think it's good to work too hard. (Click! Beep-beep-beep...)

: Thanks, Dad.



Next time, on Earthbound, we're going to VISIT SOME MOTHERFUCKING MONKEYS! STAY TUNED!