Part 37: Update Thirty Six: I Think It's The ED-209 Prototype

That shit is amazing and I want a Ness hat, pronto. I think that's the best purchase you could have made, Hello Winter.

Welcome back! Last time, on Earthbound, we went through the monkey cave, learned how to teleport, and now we're preparing to rescue Kim from Monotoli's clutches. So, let's get started, shall we?



We're heading to the 48th floor of Monotoli today. With Electra's help, we can now get to that floor.





I'm not really a fan of the elevator-lady dialog; I think it's more irritating and annoying than anything else.



Had I not come here prior to this, I would have popped in to see Tons of Fun, but today is a day of rescue.



Why, yes. I am Nass.



: office on the 48th floor. Only you may go.

If only Nass can go, I hope Susan is hiding in Nass' backpack or something.





We're now on the 48th floor. Isn't it exciting?



Oh, look, a cute lil' robot!



Secret code? Um...



BANANA! BANANA IS MY SAFE WORD



These guys have 372 HP, with no weaknesses we can exploit. Their defense isn't too bad, but their offense is high, and they have one total bastard move.





Bottle Rockets are horrible things when used against you. They can also solidify Nass or Susan, call for help, or just waste their turn.





Nass and Susan have enough offense to where the Sentry Bot's high HP isn't that big of a deal.



Not that I'm going to complain, but this Sentry Bot wanted Nass dead. He made no moves whatsoever against Susan.



But, Nass returned the sentiment in kind.



They drop a nice bit of exp., too. Soon enough, we'll go back to dividing exp. up three ways.



Life Up Alpha restores about a Bottle Rocket's worth of HP, which Nass is going to be thankful for here.





Now, aren't you all so glad that I went through that door? Jesus pleezus, isn't it exciting.



Oh, hey, look! Bathrooms!





Just once, I wish enemies would pop out of the bathroom after you listen at the door. Not a sentient pile of poo or something, but maybe a Slimy Little Pile or something.



Yeah, you have to go through this dialog every time you encounter one of these. Thankfully, they seem a touch uncommon.



But their desire to murder Nass with fireworks is universal.



Up through this door...



...Another Sentry Bot, and another door leading off. There's also a door on the opposite side of this room. There's a bit of treasure in Monotoli's Building, but not a ton.







Seriously, Nass has to be covered with burn marks and blisters by now.



Let's roll up to the top door first.



These rooms look like classrooms to me. Surely, they're meant to be a meeting area or an office or something, right?



We went through the top door this time, too.



And Nass gained a level for all his being-exploded troubles!

For this level, he gained +1 offense, +1 guts, +2 HP and +2 PP.

...Well, that was a lackluster level for being one of those multiple of four levels.


Senior Woodchuck has proved himself more intelligent and gooder at math than I am.



Ah, Sudden Guts Pill. We meet again.



Heading back, we'll continue on this-a ways now.



These enemies aren't really difficult. Other than the Bottle Rocket, they're actually fairly harmless. But I'll be damned if I don't consider them a pain in the ass.



I didn't actually avoid him here, despite what it looks like; after defeating an enemy, they blink, like the party does, and I just took this shot while it was visible.



So, readers, is this more or less boring than the monkey cave?



Oh, hey, we found Electra. Let's see about snaggin' our yogurt.



I guess she's not one for small-talk when she's working.



Oh, God, she's still under the influence of the Mani Mani! Truly, a fate worse than death is to think Pokey is anything but a human louse.



Don't you just want to hug her and tell her that, soon, life will change for the better?



Is trout flavored yogurt a real thing? I know Bifauxnen mentioned trout flavored ice cream being made on Iron Chef, but that's a touch different from trout yogurt. If it is real, has anyone here tried it?



Apparently, it's not that good. It only restored 30 HP!



Out of Electra's room and into the one next door.



Now this ain't a bad bit of treasure. Nass drinks this down, as Susan or Kim's HP growth will always suck, and I may as well make my tank guy even tankier, right?



Alright, here we go. We're nearly to Kim.



What the hell is that thing? It's so...Derpy looking.



Aww, it's a malfunctioning robot. Let's take it with us, then Susan can fix it and we'll have all sorts of wacky misadventures together!



Oh, Jesus, shuriken swirl! It's full of hate!



This is our boss of the day; 962 HP, with high defense and he can hit with the force of that one meteor from that one movie with meteors in it; you know which one I mean.



He seems to have a fucking stupid-high dodge rate, too. His speed is also 83, so we're never going to go before this asshole does.



Sudden Guts Pill, save my ass!



This is the big thing to watch out for in this fight. Why, you ask?





It hits both Susan and Nass, and for a ton of fucking damage. Nass can take a couple of those before he needs to heal, but Susan just doesn't have the HP stock needed to tank through them.



This isn't a bad amount of damage to be dealing to him with Nass; at 962 HP, it's nearly 1/10th of his health from Nass alone.



Now, if Susan would just get his fucking act together!



I'm so glad every time I see this asshole waste a turn.



Susan, you have a fucking laser gun. How is a kid with a ball bat outdoing you? Start shooting him in the dick or something. Robots hate shots in the dick as much as guys do, right?



Nass is on healing duty again; it's too bad that Susan can't match him for damage, as that'd be a hell of a thing in this fight.





While being another turn wasting attack, this also wastes my turn, so it's frustrating, yet I'm okay with seeing it.



Nass heals himself up next; Susan would be completely screwed if he had to do this fight solo. And no, I didn't bring any Big Bottle Rockets because I'm a fucking idiot.



You might be wondering why I'm going to use this, since it's so rare. If I didn't use it now, I'd whip it in storage, then never pull it out.



So, instead of giving into my rare item hoarding tendencies, I decide to ensure you guys see at least one usage of Dragonite in this LP.



Dammit, Susan!





Jesus Christ, it's horrifying!



Oh, fuck yes, close to 1/3rd of his health in a single shot. Bags of Dragonite kick ass.



Bologne sandwiches? Dammit, I want one now.



OH, YOU FUCK



HOW ABOUT SOME BACON TO WASH DOWN THAT BOLOGNE, ASSHOLE!?







Finally, Susan! Keep on doing that!





Sure, the Neutralizer would have worked better, but I'm just making sure the Shield Killer gets its usage, too. It's about to be thrown into storage, never to see the light of day again.



Aww, dammit.



Hell yeah, Nass!





Jesus, Susan, did you not think of testing this Shield Killer before you declared what it was? Both Nass and Kim can make shields.



But, he's clumsy! How can he dodge?



Oh, shit.





Oh, God, that missile sucks.







Nass was already set to bash his robo-brain in, so Bacon will have to wait. Susan needs healing, too.





Well, hey, that wasn't a bad hit, Susan.



I used Life Up Beta here, just to be sure Susan's HP would get maxed.



Uh-oh. Hold out, Nass! That's what Sudden Guts Pill is there to help you do!



JESUS FUCKING CHRIST



Alright, Susan will survive. But I've gotta hurry and get Nass to heal himself.



As soon as Nass is better, I'll get those back to you, Clumsy Robot.



A touch of healing later, Nass decides to replace those bolts by shoving concentrated psychic Bacon powers up the robot's ass.











Okay, that's not too bad. That's better than 309 fucking damage, at any rate.





Susan gets a pair of nice attacks off while Nass frees himself.





After healing Susan, I decide that if that robo-jackass is going to fire another missile, he's going to get a taste of his own explosive medicine.



And at this point, the robo-douche deserves it!



Susan gets it first.





Another pair of good hits. We'll need those.



Nass covers his own ass next.



Oh, fire a missile now, robo-jerk!







Wait, what is this?

It was the Runaway Five!

Oh, fuck yeah!





Yeah, these guys repay us in the best ways.



You should have been here about four minutes ago, man.



Indeed. I wish I had only considered the Shield Beta earlier.



And so, our fight is won, mostly thanks to the Runaway Five.



And we get a bucket of exp. for our troubles.

But, Leavemywife, if that was just a wait-it-out fight, why did you use the Dragonite and stuff?

Because it isn't. That Clumsy Robot has 962 HP to burn through before that happens.

But he restored all of HP, more than once! I know you didn't go through 962 when the Runaway Five came in!

And you're right, bolded-question-I-made-up-to-simulate-a-reader's-question. See, when it says that the Clumsy Robot eats a bologne sandwich to recover all of his HP, nothing happens. No HPs are restored to it; literally, it is just a waste of his turn.

That's some assholery!

Well, kind of, yes. It's to make you believe that the fight is unwinnable (and it is, by conventional means). I also believe it's to enhance the Runaway Five's badassery in coming to your rescue, instead of you bailing them out again.

Wow, that's cool!

Yes, yes it is. Now shut up and let me get back to the LP.

Okay!



Alright, here we are.



I would have loved to see you use your sax as a weapon to bat the Clumsy Robot into Twoson or some shit.



You guys have done more than enough.



Aye, we're close to Kim, friend.



It's the only option we have, really.



Oh, okay. I can wait a few minutes, I guess.



But, just how suspicious?

Find out next time, true believers! For now, we're ending on a cliff-hanger!

Stay tuned!

Bonus Video

Watch the Runaway Five in action!