Part 38: Update Thirty Seven: Kim, To Honor Your Return, We're Buying A House

Welcome back. Last time, on Earthbound, the Runaway Five proved they were some of the best guys on the planet. Today, as the thread title makes obvious, we're rescuing Kim and buying a house. So, let's get started.



Last time, I left you off on a cliff-hanger. Let's resolve that right now.



This is Monotoli's office. Apparently, Kim's just been hanging out in here, not in any sort of danger. As far as we know, at least.



Without the Mani Mani statue to back him up, Monotoli is just a regular old man.



Seriously, after talking to him, he just runs the fuck away from us.



And he...Hides behind Kim?



You better believe it, Kim. This shit is hard without you around.



: Take some time to listen to him.



: I've become so weak since I lost the Mani Mani Statue. I'm sorry I kidnapped Kim. I haven't done anything to her. ...Kim is a nice girl.

Damn right she is. Though, I do feel a little bad for Monotoli; he was on top of the world, then we came along and entirely fucked his new life up. Granted, he did it through bad-guy means, so we're still in the moral right here, but we did turn this mad into a sad shitsack.



: I'm sorry I've created so much trouble for you. I'll tell you everything. The Mani Mani Statue creates an illusion. It attracts evil spirits and weakens your heart.

So, how did we get sent to Moonside? Was that some sort of defense mechanism brought about by Mani Mani?



With a power like that, since it catapulted you from lowly real estate agent to, like, the Mafia Don of Fourside, it'd scare the shit out of me, too.



: me while I was in the illusion. Nass, your name appeared in the cryptic messages. "Stop Nass and do so by your own hand."

Yet another mention of prayer; I seriously thought that Nintendo of America didn't like that shit over here in the west. And while Monotoli was in the illusion, did he go to Moonside, too? Or did he have another cracked-out acid trip?



Summers? I think I smell a new location.



And apparently, we're also going to travel to a Stargate, too. I hope we meet Teal'c.



: doesn't want you to go to Summers. ...Evil...Giygas...or something... I could hear the name... Anyway, the evil side would be in trouble if you visit Summers...

We'll be heading there soon enough, Monotoli. We have some other business to attend to, first.



: especially because they don't want you to make it there. .....

Well, he may have lost all of his power, but he's still sharp as a whip.



Nah, I'm good. If any of you want the story again, scroll up.



Ooh, we get a helicopter!

: I'll open the door to my heliport.



I'll admit, it's pretty fucking awesome that to open your secret door to your heliport, you've gotta move your Mighty Bear statue.



Charlotte!



Monotoli ain't such a bad guy. He just got wrapped up in some shit that he didn't expect.



Kim's only a level behind Susan, and seven behind Nass. All in all, the dynamic is just about the same.





We even get a golden helicopter to travel in!?

Yes, it's probably just painted yellow, but shut up, let me enjoy this moment.





Because it starts to fly off! Who could be behind this?



POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKEY



: have no more use for him. This helicopter will really come in handy. Looks like you're the world-class loser again!



POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKEY



I HOPE HE CRASHES, GOES MAD, EATS HIS OWN HANDS AND DIES



Let's just get out of here. We'll find another way to Summers.



Kim? Are you alright?





Are you really?



: where we must go...

Well, shit, it'll be easy gettin' back there. We learned how to teleport while you were gone.



How long were you in there? Did the groaning man make it out okay?

: Not if he went back in there. You want to get to Threed as soon as possible? We can take you to Threed in our tour bus. I'll get the bus and wait for you just outside the building...



With that, they all shuffle out. Normally, I'd make mention of how their effort isn't needed, because we can teleport, but they're just trying to repay us. I see no reason to rain on their parade.



So, we're heading back to Threed. But what back there can help us reach Summers?



: In fact, I know I'm a genius. Why? Well, I have discovered the primary enemy of you and of all humanity.

How in the fuck do you discover something like that? And shouldn't you tell the army or something? Or at least give the Runaway Five Tommy Guns and let them join the party?*

: We have to fight and defeat this being... To do so, we need to invent a machine called the "Phase Distorter." I've got to find the wandering scientist, Dr. Andonuts, and make the distorter. So, I may be gone for a while. Later... *click*

Was it just me or did Apple Kid seem a touch...Off?



Well, yes, we are.



: Hey, I'm just a friend of theirs, so I don't see why you'd want my autograph.



:





: me.

Yep. With Pokey gone and Monotoli depowered, these men have different dialog.



: But don't worry, I won't come after you. Unless you're kinda itchin' for a fight.

Not right now, buddy. Give me a little bit though, and I'll come back to duke it out with you.







With Pokey gone, his dad has flown the coop, too. Somehow, Pokey doesn't seem the type to take Aloysius with him when shit hits the fan.



Let's catch our ride back to Threed.



Nobody gives a shit, Orange Kid.



Why are you wasting my time with this bullshit!?



: though... talk to me later. *click*

Jesus, I hate that asshole.







Once again, I'm not going to interrupt this next part with words.







You saved our asses, old friend. That's enough for me.



: time, just think of our songs and imagine the Runaway Five singing somewhere far, far away... By the way, why did you need to come back here?

I'm not really sure. I know we've got other shit to do before we take care of that, though.



: How's that for a guess? Am I close? Well, you don't have to tell me... See you later and good luck!



See you later, Runaway Five. Keep on rockin'.



Before we do anything else, though, we have business in Twoson.



What business, you ask?



You might remember this thing from way back when in that bonus update. We're finally going to find out the significance of the insignificant item!



It's used up here on the second floor in the hospital; I hope nobody minds me cutting out the first floor. I know how riveting it still is to all of you.



In the first room, we find this man.



: *cough* *hack, hack* *cough*

Poor guy. I know what it's like to be stuck in the hospital, wishing someone would swing by to visit you.



Maybe this'll cheer him up?





...I'm now concerned if we accidentally stepped into the psych ward or not.



A "Magic truffle"? What the hell kind of reward is this for a bunch of children?



Scaraba? I wonder if we'll ever go there.



Well, let's see what this thing is all about...



80 PP!? Holy shit!



That's right, I'm throwing this bitch in storage. It'll be much more useful later on, and I don't want to waste it early. And don't worry, I won't be forgetting about this item. The same goes for the Brain Food Lunch; it's far too valuable to be pissed away right now.



And back to Onett.





We have just a couple of stops to make here.



The first is way back over here. I hope ya'll ain't forgot about this.



Yes, take my money.



Oh, we're homeowners now. And all before high-school!



And into our new property we go!



Well...This looks like shit, huh?



Hell yes, I am. This is the only reason I wanted this crapshack.

And now, in all of its unedited glory, presented purely through screenshots, I present to you:

























Truly, the greatest story we never get to finish.



Since this is our property, do we have the legal right to kick this guy's ass?



Nass, stop smiling! He's a criminal who's broken into your home!



Or not. We'll be making a return journey home, though, since its right here.





I don't care what anyone says, that joke is paying off.

And we'll leave off with that. Next time, maybe we'll make our way back to Threed and see what was there that could help us reach Summers. Stay tuned!

End Of Update Status Shots










*Anyone who wants to draw this up is free to. I'd make it a full-blown contest, but I have no disposable income to give out prizes with. So, I can only ask you from the bottom of my Runaway Five loving heart.