Part 47: Update Forty Six: It's Dancing Time!

Welcome back! Last time, on Earthbound, we made a fool of the deadly and dangerous Kraken, found where Pokey had dropped a deuce, and stayed in a crummy hotel. Today, we're going to explore a pyramid and snag an ancient relic; it's going to be a bit of another long one, but I couldn't find a way that satisfied me to split it up, so let's get started.



We're adventuring out into the desert. Like Dusty Dunes, your characters constantly sweat and sunstroke is a possibility. Thankfully, though, sunstroke seems to go off your character's guts stat, and since everyone's guts are much higher than before (except Poo), sunstroke isn't too much of a concern right now.





This desert area isn't nearly as expansive as Dusty Dunes, though, so it only takes a few minutes to search all around it.



You can see some water to the east here, which means we've already encountered a border.



Beautiful UFO's are nothing extraordinary. If I hadn't encountered one here, I probably wouldn't have even mentioned it.



It fires beams to attack, like the other UFO enemies do, and it has access to Life Up Alpha, but that's not enough to really save her.



With only 339 HP and crappy defense, she doesn't have a chance to do much. If she wasn't so damned fast, she probably wouldn't have even gotten an attack off.



The exp. is also pretty shitty for them, too.



And they drop assorted random shit, but that's for Alien Arcana to discuss.



We're going to head south along this border for now.



It's not a bad thing to follow, either, as it will take you directly next to the pyramid. 'course, just heading south from the city walls will do the same thing.





Dread Skelpions only have 214 HP, and their stats are shit, except for speed. They can use Thunder Alpha and Beta, along with poisoning someone.



If Nass had been just a touch faster, he could have prevented Susan's poisoning here.



Even so, Nass one-shotted an enemy, and I'm now confused as to why we just didn't auto-win this fight.



Their exp. isn't very fabulous, either.



This is the Sphinx we have to dance in front of, but there's still a touch of desert to explore.



Oh, hey, a new UFO.



High-class UFO's actually can provide somewhat of a challenge.



They are fast, with good offense and okay defense. They've got beams, and can shut down PSI powers.



They also start with an automatic Shield Alpha, halving all damage. They can reapply this shield during battle, too.





Nass doesn't give it a chance to, though.



These are definitely another enemy that are more dangerous in pairs. And even then, they're just more of a pain in the ass enemies.



Their exp. isn't all that bad, either.



Another variety of Booka is here, and we're nearly done with this section of desert.





The Great Crested Booka is one of those enemies that is forever burned into my mind.



Like the rest of the enemies around here, it's best to just bash his skull in. He's got 452 HP to his name, and good offense and defense, but it's not worth it to blow any PP on any of the enemies here.



This is just about the most interesting thing they have, outside of smacking you around. It lowers offense and defense by a bit, but it's not really hazardous.



All the enemies around this area are fairly easy.



Bookas are the most profitable enemies around here, at least in exp. 4,000 isn't too shabby for a single enemy.



As Nass and Susan are willing to display for us!

For this level, Nass gained offense +1, speed +1, luck +2, and HP +2.



For his level, Susan picked up offense +1, oh baby! Defense +3, guts +2, vitality +1, IQ +2, luck +2, and HP +10.



Heading up and around this pyramid...



...Leads us to a Hint Man. I still ignore his services.



Those trees up there mark the entrance back to the city, so we're all done in the desert. Wasn't that exciting?



Back at the Sphinx, we whip out our Hieroglyph Copy and double check the Charleston it wants us to do.



Stepping on the first spot yields us a message.



And now, we have to dance.











Can you all see the pattern we had to make there? It's another interesting connection to the other alien connections we've seen already.



Let's enter the pyramid and begin--



I really hate this guy.



Admittedly, this would be a pretty cool picture to be a part of.





As soon as we set foot in here, we're immediately assaulted by enemies.



Enemies are everywhere in this place, too. It's hard to cross a room without at least one encounter and, personally, I think all the encounters here are just pains in the ass. That might just be me, though.



Arachnid!!!'s are weak to Fire and Freeze, as well as Paralysis. Their HP, 344, and offense and defense are all fairly low. They're also slower than shit, with only 20 speed.



Lighting them up is a fairly effective strategy, too, as this wipes out most of their HP.



Nass splatters one across the walls, while Poo



ensures that the other one isn't going to move again. Freeze Gamma is hella effective against these guys.



Their exp. drop is fairly good, too.



And Poo hits another level!

For this level, oh, baby! Offense +3, defense +2, guts +1, vitality +1, IQ +1, HP +10, and PP +3.



And in the next room, we find a staircase leading up.



I'm now having flashbacks to the Lost Vikings and their Egyptian themed levels. I hate those damned mummies.



See, if Erik the Swift were here, I bet he could just charge this guy once and defeat him.



Freeze is only 75% effective against them, but it's still a good bit of damage.



Like so. They have 516 HP to tear through, so it's not a huge number. But their defense isn't too bad, so physical attacks can take a while to wear them down, and they hit pretty damned hard in return. They have a continuous attack, like the Filthy Attack Roaches, which could easily drop anyone that's not Nass.



And their exp. is a touch disappointing for what a pain in the ass these guys can be.



Caskets serve as treasure chests in this area, and we'll be seeing a couple of them before we're done here.



The hieroglyphs can also pop off the walls to attack, which is mostly why it's hard to get through here with a small amount of encounters.



These guys are, in my opinion, the biggest pains in the ass in here.



They only have 470 HP, with a nice defense and okay offense. But, they have no physical attacks, so their offense doesn't matter at all.



They are actually weak against Fire and resist Freeze, but I don't like using entire row attacks on a single enemy. He didn't get a chance to attack this battle, but I'll be seeing plenty more of these assholes.



And their exp. isn't all that wonderful either, considering what douche nozzles these guys can be. They have the ability to inflict colds on people, Flash Alpha, and Thunders Alpha and Beta, so the Franklin Badge can still come in handy around here.



They have a 1/16 chance to drop this item, so it is fairly rare. All it does is inflict poison on an enemy, so it's pretty "meh" for its rarity.



After tearing open the casket, they pocket the viper they find in there. Slightly odd, but since it's Earthbound, nobody bats an eye.



In this next room, there's another long staircase.



And an interesting looking hieroglyph on the wall there.



Oh, Jesus, it's attacking!



The Lethal Asp Hieroglyph can be a bit of an asphole, but with only 458 HP and a weakness to Freeze, the team is pretty much custom-tailored to rip it to shreds. Their offense isn't bad and their defense is laughable, so just bash its brains in.



Oddly enough, they can't poison you. They can solidify someone, like the Coil Snake could way back when, but that's about it for interesting things. And that's stretching the definition of interesting, in my book.



And their exp. isn't too shabby, considering how easy it is to crush them. Usually, they appear with other foes, but even then, they're not dangerous.



And here, some of you may recognize the importance of how I have my items set up.



Up top, there's another Asp, making this a perfect opportunity to show off the Rock Candy glitch.



This requires a bit of Rock Candy and a Sugar Packet or Delisauce for maximum effect. During battle, use the Rock Candy on whoever...



...and the condiment, as usual, automatically sprinkles on it, and permanently increases Nass' IQ by two. So far, that's status quo for how the item works.



But, check the inventory after battle...



And what's this? Only the condiment has been spent, Nass' IQ has been raised by two, and we still have our Rock Candy. For this glitch, you need the Rock Candy in the lower right corner, and the condiment in the other. I don't know how it works, but this can lead to stupid high stats for everyone, but, if you're going to exploit and glitch everyone's stats to stupid high numbers, be warned that if you go over 255 for the stats this raises, they will overflow back to zero.



In the next room, we find quite a big casket, and at least one other exit to this room.



This is a pretty average encounter in here, based on my experiences. I find the Guardian Hieroglyph to be a massive pain in the ass, and I do not know why. They're not particularly difficult, they have no major damaging attacks, and they only inflict Colds, so it's not like they're actually an enemy to try and avoid.



Kim gets herself a level, while Nass has the sniffles.

For this level, Kim gained +1 speed, +1 luck, HP +3, and PP +1.



Nass scarfs down a Peanut Cheese Bar, and I prepare to head into the upper-right door.



We're greeted by another staircase and a hieroglyph.



And Poo gaining another level!

For this level, oh, baby! Offense +3, oh, baby! Defense +3, speed +2, guts +1, luck +1, and HP +2.



I'm surprised there's not an encounter at the top of the staircase. Usually, Guardian Hieroglyphs seem to wait up there for you.



It's just a lone treasure room up here, but it's a very nice treasure.



The next boss I find that's weak to Fire attacks is going to get his ass roasted.



On the other side of this room, you can see the door we need to go to. There's nothing we can do with that casket in the center just yet.



On our way over there, we find a new enemy.



They resist Freeze, which I always forget. For some reason, it makes sense to me for them to be weak to Freeze. They also resist Fire, but Paralysis will render them useless, as all their attacks are physical, barring the war cry we saw the Bookas use.



He has 573 HP, so these numbers are good to see. Their defense is monstrous, at 173, with an offense of 106. They're slow, with 12 speed, so that's a nice thing.



Seriously, when Nass is hardly dealing triple digit damage, you know you have a defensive powerhouse around.



But, it falls like all the others.



And it has a nice exp. yield, too.



Nice enough to get Susan another level, even.

For this level, he gained +1 speed and +3 HP. He's definitely going to need an IQ boost soon, as I'd like my bazooka working.



Poo sucks down a bottle of water, as his PP reserves were getting low. For my backup healer/magical nuker, I'd prefer his PP to be in a nicer range. I don't have a ton to do about Kim's PP, with me at least, but I can deal with that.



Up here, there's an Arachnid!!! and a Guardian Hieroglyph.



Arachnid!!!'s can poison, but it's nothing to fear. Flash still sucks when used against you, though, but at least Kim has the Night Pendant.



And hey, Nass hit himself another level!

For this level, oh, baby! Offense +5, oh, baby! Defense +3, guts +2, oh, baby! Vitality +3, IQ +2, and sweet! HP +43 and that rocks! PP+ 18!

Now, that's what I call a good fucking level.



Through the other door, we're nearly done with this place. I'm not a huge fan of the pyramid, so, much like the Fifth Sanctuary dungeon, I just want to be done with this place.



Down another long-ass staircase.



And through this door.



There's two treasure caskets in here, a Fierce Shattered Man, a Lethal Asp Hieroglyph and a Guardian Hieroglyph. If you're wondering why I don't like this place, just take a second look at this screenshot.



But, hey, this isn't too bad!

For this level, Poo gained +1 IQ, +3 HP and +5 PP.



He also picks up this sweet little number; three bolts of Thunder rain down, so there's a pretty good chance it'll actually hit something. Even so, Thunder is still not that useful, sadly enough.



Nass gets this capsule, as he needs to keep up. With his physicals, healing abilities and the opportunity to use PSI Bacon, it's important that the leader of this ragtag group of heroes can be fast enough to be useful.



And this could come in handy later.



In this next room, there's another staircase heading down, so we've gotta be heading fairly deep into the ground right now.





Seriously, hella deep into the ground.



Eh? What's that doing in the way?



Oh, it's just the boss. No fanfare, no dialog, nothin'. It's just...There.



And pretty damned lackluster. It only has 831 HP, for starters. Sure, it's defense is 209, so it won't take shit from physicals, but its offense is barely higher than the Royal Guards, and it barely breaks 20 speed. Same set of resistances, though, which also includes Paralysis here.



The only new attack it has is to make something spin around, to drain a touch of PP. Beyond that, though, it feels like such an boss, it's not even funny.



Freeze Gamma starts us off nicely.



Freeze Omega also seals his fate quite nicely.



Seriously, his defense is fucking crazy. And this is one of the better physical offensives I could hope to see.



Susan proves himself the MVP of this fight by wiping out half the boss' health in one shot. He could have done this fight solo with no trouble.



Yep, he's dead. Seriously, there's not a ton I can say about this guy, besides that he hits hard and has good defense. He's a boring palette swap of a boring enemy in a boring dungeon, what the hell do you want from me?



He drops a nice bit of exp., though. That's about the only good thing I can say about the guy.



Well, that, and he got Kim another level!

For this level, oh, baby! Offense +3, defense +1, speed +2, guts +2, oh baby! IQ +3, HP +2 and that rocks! PP +11!



In the room beyond, can you spot where we need to step?



Seriously, I know a ton of these screenshots are level ups, but that's how it occurs within the game. Levels aren't an uncommon thing, and I don't really notice how many have been gained until I'm doing an update.

Oh, yeah, and

Anyways, for this level, Nass gained +2 HP.



While that level was lackluster, this more than makes up for it. Nass probably won't be killed, but the others run that risk, so this will help for their survivability.



Oh, yeah, Susan gained another level, too!

For his level, he gained +1 offense and +1 HP.



Jesus Christ!

For this level, oh, baby! Offense +3, defense +2, vitality +1, and HP +10.



This protects against Freeze attacks, like the Flame Pendant does. It's not a defensive boost to anyone, so it just sits in the inventory for now.



It sounds like something up above is moving.

I wonder what ever it could be!



Jesus Christ, it's a hell of a long walk back up here.



Ooh, the casket moved! Let's hop down the hole!



James Sunderland mode, activate!



We're dumped in front of this artifact, which we came here for, anyway.



Now, we can bring light to the Deep Darkness and get the hell out of here!



Through the door and up these stairs, we'll reach the exit.



Thankfully, there's not another boss to fight to get out of here, so we're free to leave.



Well, as soon as we get through here, at least.



Too bad I already bought three of these, but I believe the purchase of these was more than worthwhile. They lasted a fair few dungeons, at least.



And down the hole, we're plopped pretty much straight into an encounter.



Ooh, how non-threatening.



But, hey, this is pretty sweet!

For this level, Kim gained +1 luck, +3 HP and +2 PP.



Through the door, we come to the final hallway of the pyramid.



And enemies are every-Goddamn-where through the hall.



But, hey, it's enough to get Poo another level!

For this level, he gained +1 offense, +2 defense, +1 speed, and +3 HP.



We're almost done here, I promise.



Here we are. Last Lethal Asp, last staircase, and the last door.



Oh, Goddammit.



But, hey, whatever, we are outta there!



Eh? What the hell is that?



Oh, shit, it's this guy again!





Poo just strolls through everyone to get to the old man.



Well, it's a good thing I made it through the pyramid quickly, then. I'd hate to dispute the stars.



For anyone who's played Brawl, but not this game, Starstorm automatically means something badass to you.



And he's taking Poo away. Yeah, Poo's kind of an odd party member like that. He's our fourth party member, but doesn't join until halfway through, and is snatched up before you can really get attached to him like you can Nass, Kim, or Susan.



: you don't want to. Stay with me for a while, do you understand?!



Poo understands. And I do, too.



: Trust me... I will see you again.

Alright, Poo, we'll catch you later. Good luck, friend.



: Be faithful, and wait until the time comes!



And so, he whisks them both away, for Poo's training.



So, we're almost done here. Just one more thing to do.



: there is a strange looking tower to the northwest. ...This key I picked up a little while ago shall maybe open the tower. You may have it, I do not need it.

So, now, we have a key to get in there.



New enemies are around here, but we're only going to meet one for now.



And we're meeting him the hard way.



Ooh, robotic octopuses! These guys aren't too bad.



Their only attack is to fire a beam. Other than that, they can coil around someone for solidification, or STEAL A GODDAMNED ITEM.



But, with only 482 HP and decent defensive power, they won't last long. They're weak to Fire, if you really want the extra boost in damage, but be sure to drop 'em quick. Having an item stolen here could be a major kick in the dick, as your shit is a lot better here than it was back when fighting Spiteful Crows.





Though, their exp. is a hell of a lot better than the Spiteful Crow's will ever be.



Heading northwest, we start to spy a most interesting object. And you're not missing anything by me cutting out the journey; it's about ten seconds of walking through the desert, with an occasional tree.



And so, by using the key on the tower, we can now enter his crotch.



Awww yeah, son. Brick Road is back and he has become the ultimate fusion of man and dungeon, just as he wished to be.



Heading up through the path, we encounter this sign. We're also going to head to the left, just so we're part of the 30%.



Ooh, presents!



Aaah, bad presents!



Nass SMAAAAAAAAAASH bad record!



Well, I feel better about these guys kicking my ass back in the Department Store.



After the fight, we find our hotel for the area. It's absolutely free, too.



Jesus Christ, Dad! That nearly equates to three Diamond Bands!



Well, our fortune is back. We should be good on money for the rest of the game now, too.





Ah, all rested. Say, this would be a good place to get some repairs on...



But, we're going to take a break here. Next time, on Earthbound, we'll be heading through Brick Road's newest dungeon, so stay tuned!

End Of Update Status Shots