Part 50: Update Forty Nine: It's In My Raccoon Wounds!

Welcome back! Last time, on Earthbound, we fixed up a submarine that Brick Road conveniently had sitting around and made our way to the Deep Darkness. Today, we're going to be heading through the Deep Darkness, so let's get started.



There's a few monkeys around this starting area. This monkey here, though, is pretty helpful.



As if the game didn't have enough of them, here's another free, full-heal spot. It's getting a touch ridiculous, I think.



Hell yes we do, monkey. Free heals are free heals (no, I haven't done anything to reduce my HP/PP since that free heal back in Brick Road, so this is completely superfluous.)



And I'm sure someone has taken the task of detailing just what that is in a comic somewhere.



Peace out, monkey. Thanks for the rest.



See those dark patches in the swamp? That's the "Deep" part of the Deep Darkness. Stepping in those submerge your characters and deals a bit of damage as you walk through it. Thankfully, it appears to be only a couple of points here and there. There's quite a few swampy spots to walk through, so if did any appreciable damage, it'd be a total nightmare.



Fuck off, Dad, I'm balls deep in swamp water.



Glub glub glub.



Oh, and the screen flashes red like it does with sunstroke, colds and poison, so at first, it looks like your characters are actually in danger. I checked several times while walking through that patch, and I think I'd taken a grand total of 4 HP of damage.



Leonard, you beautiful bastard! I only buy one. These things are fucking badass, and easily break the game wide open. And since I'm not allowed to grind, I'm going to guess I'm not allowed to abuse these things like they're Alabaman housewives, so they're boss fight only.



And yes, there are some regular-ass enemies I'd consider using them on. Some are just pricks like that.



That they can, Monkey. They're just teleportin' fools out there!



Yep. Thankfully, we didn't teach them sign language or anything, so we won't have a Congo situation on our hands.



I'll teach you to teleport, but if I hear about anything that even remotely sounds like Congo, I'm coming for you.



I have no idea what Nass tells this monkey. He doesn't even demo it for him. Nass must have a hell of a way with words.



The monkey gathers plenty of room. This space is hard to teleport from, but if you're good at spinning with Teleport Alpha or just use Beta, it's not too bad.



OH GOD MONKEY LOOK OUT



Yowch, Monkey. That's an unfortunate side effect of screwing up a teleport.



Ah, but this monkey is persistent.



By Jove, he's got it! He circled around the tree and he's got it!



Fuck yeah, Monkey.



He gives us the Monkey's Love.



We'll be testing this out later.



Moving on, we see a business man, and you can barely tell there's a doctor behind the tree.



This man serves two purposes; he's a shop and works with the doctor.



I cut out his schtick because, frankly, it's unfunny and goes on too long.



Since my inventory is full of shit, I sold off Nass' old coin to pick this one up. His defense is increased to 131 with it on, and it provides no status resistances. It's kind of boring, really.



Yeah, talk about one of them indicative names.



: eye here, you're helpless.

Good thing we raided that pyramid then!



: you endanger your health. You can't help it. That's why it's called Deep Darkness.

She tells us something that we figured out on the way over here. Unless she's talking about enemies in the swamp or something.



Ah, a monkey with a goal. Good luck.



Remember the Piggy Nose I bought? You can use it here to seek out Magic Truffles which, if you'll recall, restore around 80 PP to whoever eats it.



I quickly run back to Onett, store more lasers, my Franklin Badge and other assorted shit with Tracy, then we're ready to continue.



Jesus Christ, that is dark. But first, a present!



Nass immediately eats this. It restores whatever tiny bit of health had been lost.



This is what the Hawk eye is used for. I'm willing to bet you could bump your way around here without it, but that's stupid and you're stupid for considering it.





Ta-da! Now we can see around here.



We continue south, ready to enter the swamp proper.



No, that's not an enemy.



You hit the mark there, buddy. You're not important at all.



This man dispenses cash, but he charges a handling fee. That fee is equal to whatever you withdraw from him; if you take $30,000, he takes an additional $30,000 for himself. This is a terrible thing. Besides, Deep Darkness has been added to the teleport list, so you can just 'port somewhere else, grab cash, then come back here for 4 PP (if you use Teleport Alpha, like I do, otherwise it's 16 PP if you use Beta). And with a free heal right over there, there's no reason not to do it that way if you need cash.



So we move on past him, content with the cash we have on hand.



There's probably a Magic Truffle over there, but since Poo has the Piggy Nose, I'll investigate that later.



JESUS CHRIST, MASTER BARF IS STALKING US



I actually managed to hit a surprise attack on his ass.



The Big Pile of Puke has 631 HP, and acts like Master Belch did waaaaay back when. Except, this time, we don't need to use Fly Honey on him, so I bash him until he's dead.



And I couldn't decide which death look I liked better, so I took two.



What do you think, thread? Which one do you prefer?



Great Odin's Raven! That's a very good amount of exp!



Oh, thank God, we're back on land. As I'm sure you figured out, walking in the swamp and the deeper parts of the swamp slows you down massively. It's part of why I'm not a huge fan of this area.



We move west and north, covering more ground.



Or swamp, rather. Either way, we're making progress.



God, that present must be soggy and it has to smell so gross.



Enemies!



I had forgotten entirely about the Zap Eel's existence. They only have 370 HP to their name, along with low offense and defense.



Yeah, their defense is pretty terrible.



This is Thunder Beta, in all but name. These guys aren't common or dangerous enough to warrant keeping the Franklin Badge on hand.



They're weak to Fire, but you shouldn't have to exploit their weakness to drop them like a bad habit.



Even Slimier Little Plies have 326 HP, with offense and defense barely above that of the Zap Eel. If you remember the attacks of the piles back in Belch's Factory (hell, I barely remember them), then you know how these guys operate.



The exp. around here is nice as hell, too.



In the present near them, we find some Beef Jerky.



This restores Kim's HP to full. Beef Jerky is a nice healing item for Kim.



If you head north and around, you find this little scene.



And another one of the photograph spots. I'm sure I've missed a few, and I am not going back for them.



Just once, I wish instead of smiling, Nass would just PSI Bacon Gamma this guy back to the sky.



This bird has a touch of interesting information for us. We're near the Tenda Village, so now we have a destination in mind.



In the present, I find an IQ capsule, which immediately goes to Susan.



Heading back to get on track again, I find another new enemy.



Now, these guys can be fairly challenging. As the name might lead you believe, they've got one hell of a defense, with a good offense to back it up. Weak to Fire, of all things; I expected Freeze, but I guess a crocodile wouldn't like being lit on fire, either.



But, I still opt for having Kim freeze his nads off, while Nass beats his nose in and Susan gives him a couple of extra nostrils.



All the Hard Crocodile can do is attack, either with a generic bash, a biting attack, or by giving you a good whack with his tail.



Good God, that was a regular hit, too. Kim definitely needs a defensive upgrade, even though she's still rocking some of the best defense on the team.



But, before too much damage is done, Susan blows him away with a laser gun.



Their exp. nice is drop. Solo, these guys aren't very difficult, but if paired up with others, things can get a bit hectic. I just realized how many enemies I'm describing like that.



Glub glub glub



That's Pokey's chopper! Maybe his fat ass is dead! CELEBRATION!







Dammit, we're never going to get a helicopter. That's it, celebration's off!



...Where the hell did the engine go!? Are there Jawas in the Deep Darkness or something!?



Oh, hello, Flower and Tree who look out of place.



Hey, remember the trees from Peaceful Rest Valley?



Yep, same thing, basically. Just more health, at 609, and higher defense/offense. They still explode upon death, but I don't think it actually does anymore damage. I mean, Nass is going to survive that easily.



*Yawn* Yeah, I'm not super-impressed with the enemies around here.



I like the exp., though. 'course, I always like exp.



Especially when it leads to a level!

For this level, Nass gained +1 offense, +1 guts, +1 IQ, +1 luck, +2 HP and +5 PP.



Oh, yeah! Two levels!

For his level, Susan gained +3 offense, +1 defense, +2 vitality, +2 IQ, +1 luck, and sweet! +23 HP!



Hey, alright, now this is a nice treasure to find.



And let's beat up a flower.



Demonic Petunias have 478 HP, with meh offense and defense. They have access to Fire Gamma, though, which they call "Dispense an extinguishing blast". They can also paralyze people.



I was actually going to say stuff about these guys, but Nass murdered the only one I found.



...Yeah, I have nothing else to say here.



I like the exp., though. But, as has been established, I like exp. in any form.



Oh, hey, Spicy Jerky! This restores about 250 HP when eaten, as opposed to regular Beef Jerky, which is only about a 60 HP heal.



You can barely see these bugs over there.



Aye, it's another palette-swapped, "new" enemy!



If you remember the Attack Slugs from the days of yore, you know how these guys operate. They only do about 15 HP of damage, so they're not really a danger to anyone, even if they gang up.







Oh, and a Salt Packet. Whoopdee-Goddamn-Doo.



But, hey, Kim got a level out of it!

For this level, she gained +2 offense, +1 IQ, +1 HP, and +3 PP.



She adds Shield Beta to her repertoire, making her even more useful.



Heading west, we glub glub glub again.



Just keep going west here. It's...Not very exciting.



Hey, dry land!



Head to the west from here, and you find this item.



It immediately goes on Kim, as she's very squishy and needs all the defensive help she can get.



If you look in the swamp, you can see the fin of a new, non-palette swap enemy.





Manly Fish have 500 HP on the dot, with lower offense, and good defense. All they can do is jab you with their spear, so they're kind of boring.



Oh, dear. This isn't good.



THIS IS EVEN WORSE



Alright, now there's two things I can do here; heal Susan and not worry or



Activate mode!



mode prevails! Probably not the smartest move I could have made, but hey, it worked.



I think it was worth it. I've got Life Up Beta, so Susan will be fine.



Like so. While we're around, let's mop up that puke.





I think those enemies are supposed to be at least uncommon, because I can't recall the last time I encountered one outside of this LP. And even then, I ambushed both of them here.





I think I may have missed one, but this should be the last present box around here.



If it is the final one, then it was a good treasure. If not, it's still a good treasure.



We're almost done in the Deep Darkness, so let's get the hell out of here.



Oh, what the hell, game.



Yeah, Belch is back, baby!



: odor? Belch has trained more and returned much stronger! Buuuurp!





These screenshots are partly because I don't want to transcribe it and because I think it's better to see it like this.



Erm...Maybe?



Fight time! It's the rematch against Belch!



Sure, he changed his name to "Puke", but it's "Barf" here. I don't know, either.



Maybe this trick will work again!



Freeze is only 50% effective against him. He has no weaknesses to exploit, but 1319 HP to tear through.





Monkey Love, be effective!



Oh, God, I think that monkey belly-flopped onto a big ol' pile of puke!



Oh, no, the monkey couldn't hold a sentient pile of puke together! What a twist.



Let your gluttony be the death of you again!



Aww, dammit. We're going to have to do this the old fashioned way.



After making Nass nauseous.



Nass is going to heal himself up.



Kim's going to burn the puke.



And Susan is going to play with his new toy.





Well, that was super-effective.



I think this is the only new attack he has. I actually don't know, as he never lives long enough to display much else.





Jesus Christ!



SHE'S ALREADY DEAD, STOP IT, DAMN YOU



Hopefully, this will end this shit.



Welp, I think it succeeded. Suck it down, Master Barf!



Poo, your help is not needed!



Oh, well, this is a nice way to end a fight, though.



...346 HP of damage, Poo? Susan just did SEVEN TIMES that much damage!



I still maintain we could have finished this on our own.



Hey, whatever, a boatload of exp!



And Barf dropped a new weapon for Nass!



And everyone leveled up!

For his level, Nass gained oh, baby! Offense +4, speed +1, guts +2, luck +1, HP +3 and PP +2.

For her level, Kim snagged offense +1, defense +1, speed +2, oh, baby! Guts +3, vitality +1, oh baby! Luck +3, HP +4 and PP +2.

For his level, Susan netted +1 guts and +1 HP.

And finally, Poo gained oh, baby! Offense +6, oh baby! Defense +3, speed +1, guts +1, vitality +2, IQ +1, luck +1; sweet! HP +27 and PP +5.



And now he has the ability to do something useless to the entire enemy party!



Starstorm is pretty sweet, as it is non-elemental. It's basically Poo's version of Bacon, including being pricey for the PP pool it is coming from.



Holy balls, that's a hell of a boost!

It's too bad that the Casey Bat is nearly useless, though. Sure, it adds a ton to your offense, but it only hits every one in four times. It's guaranteed to SMAAAAAAASH when it does hit, though, but that's still not worth it. I'd rather have a nearly-guaranteed hit for less damage, but will come closer to equaling out one hit from the Casey Bat.



There's a good chance that you may just whiff.

Some people act pissed when they learn about the Casey Bat's downfall, since it's apparently impossible to find this out (but only when you're retarded like any of those people). Granted, you might not think to check the description for every weapon, but c'mon, it's not like it's hard to do it.



This is the Piggy Nose in action.



There's a bunch of Magic Truffles scattered about the Deep Darkness.



Now, I don't know if you need the Piggy Nose to find them, but I generally don't go and hunt them down. PP isn't that much of a worry now, but even so, I'm not saying it's a bad idea to go find them.



After all, recovering around 80 PP isn't anything to sneeze at. Even so, Kim's PP pool is high enough it's not really a concern that she'll run out, Poo can recover through water and DX water, and Nass should be a back-up healer, and even then, the others will get by on Life Up Alpha.



We're almost out of the Deep Darkness.



Oh, hey, doesn't this look like a convenient teleport spot?



And this looks like an excellent spot to end an update!

Next time, we'll see what is in that cave! Stay tuned!