Part 54: Update Fifty Three: Where's The Movie Version?

Edit: Screw it, that was a failed joke.

So, have an update in its place.

Welcome back. Last time, on Earthbound, we rescued some old friends from the clutches of the aliens and wrecked their Stonehenge Base. Today, we're going to help out the Tenda Village, so let's get started.



We left off in Winters and had discovered that Apple Kid had returned the book that the Tenda needed back to the Onett Library.



It's a good thing he mentions, that, too, as I think a lot of first time players would completely forget there's a library in Onett.



Hey, look, a hotel! Remember when we used to stay in those?





We're looking for a book and we have no idea where it is. So, let's ask a helpful library employee!



Oh, hey, something else I had entirely forgotten about! Now, about the book "Overcoming Shyness"...



As of this date, I think I'm about eleven and a half years overdue on that map. My bad.



Looks like we have to hunt this book down ourselves.



Thankfully, we don't have to fight anything or even look that hard, really.



As much as I would have loved a boss fight against a library book; it would even fit in with the game! It'd be all, "Graa, I'm a scary book!"

And then Nass and crew would be like, "Ooh, we're gonna beat you up!" And then they do, and I get a bunch of exp. and it would be cool.



The third bookshelf holds the book we're looking for. I just want to know why the pages are all greasy and why it smells like pig sweat.



Yep, it's the one we're looking for.



Fuck you, library lady, we're takin' this book!



Now we've gotta scoot back to the Tenda Village.



Thankfully, we can just teleport directly there, and we don't have to slog through the Deep Darkness again.





Now, I have no idea if the Chief is the only Tenda who can read, or if he just thinks it is his Chiefly duty to read the book to them.



As for those speech patterns...



: Just holding this book in my hands makes me feel like I'm overcoming my shyness already! I'll really take time to read it to everyone!

Jesus, that's one hell of a book. Are there any self-help books that are even close to this effective?





Oh, okay. That sounds...Lovely?

: Tendakraut is a type of dish all Tenda like. It stinks, but it tastes wonderful.



I hope the library doesn't notice this. They're persistent about getting their late fees.





Who invited him?



At least Nass can smile about it.



Oh, Goddammit, the phone's ringing now. Thank God I didn't want to talk to the new, non-shy Tenda.



My credit card rates are fine, piss off!



"The Goons are on fire!"

"We don't need no water, let the motherfuckers burn!"





Yes, we have a chance to change it. No, we're not going to re-vote.



Yeah, we're pretty sure.



Yep! Bye!



This is what happens if you try and eat the Tendakraut. Nass at the trout-flavored yogurt, but apparently, that was better than this.



So, let's go get that rock moved. But first, something important!



This is the item shop guy. He doesn't really sell you things; he operates on a barter system, where he'll accept a Horn of Life for



one of these items. The last three are worthwhile, with the fourth item being good, and the first three being kind of a slap in the dick. I get them all, as Nass would appreciate the weapon upgrade (brings his offense to 175) and the Talisman Coin is a defensive boost for him (that I don't remember off-hand).



Before we go too far, though, let's chat with this Tenda.



He's finally able to move this boulder, as his conversation skills have improved.



And he wings that sumbitch straight into the sky. I wonder how long that rock is going to fly.



We're free to head down there now, which is the next Sanctuary location.



Before we go too much further, though, let's talk to the now not-shy Tenda.



I almost feel bad for this guy.



Hey, they might not be shy anymore, but that doesn't mean they've become eloquent.



This isn't the first we've heard of the Lost Underworld. We'll be visiting there soon enough.



And there are talking rocks down there. Still not the strangest thing we've encountered, I suppose.



If we ever need a healthy pick-me-up, I'll probably forget about this place and just use PSI Healing.



Uh...Kind of, yeah.



Sure!



That's one hell of a cup of tea, Tenda.



Jesus Christ! That's a hell of a reward.



I'm not one to turn it down, though. Dragonite is nice stuff.



We may as well stay here. We've got a dungeon coming up, and it never hurts to be absolutely sure everyone is at 100%.





: Hey, Susan, what'd you make this time? Is it another bazooka?

: I hope this isn't Poo's blood.



Not a huge upgrade over the Spectrum Beam, but it's still a nice upgrade.


Also, this drawing is fucking awesome.



I don't know why some Tenda have regular speech patterns and while others talk like this.



It really bugs the shit out of me. Though, to be back on track, let's head down that hole.



This is the first thing that greets us down here.



There's a few talking rocks 'round these parts, so we'll be chatting with more stones before we're done here.



Oh, yeah, this is also the path to the Lost Underworld.



It's a bit of a maze, but nothing too terrible.



There's a few new enemies around here, including one of my favorites in the entire game.



There's a few ladders leading down, most of which end with treasure.



And these assholes, too.



They're not too different from the Smilin' Spheres back in Dusty Dunes. They've got 577 HP to work with, with a decent offense. Their defense can't keep up with our offensive power, though.



Ordinarily, this wouldn't bother me too much. I mean, it's damage, but since these things are going to die last, their damage is going to be mitigated by the end of the fight.





Their exp. leaves something to be desired as well. However, they hold a 1/128 drop item. It's the Broken Antenna, which Susan can repair. The only reason I mention this in this much detail is because it's the item that needs to be repaired so Susan can have his ultimate weapon.



If nobody minds, I might just do the same for that that I did to get the Sword of Kings.



Oh, man, do the Tenda have the perfect book for you, then.



You probably figured out how these guys operate just by looking at them. With 587 HP and low defense and offense, they're just the upgraded version of the Conducting Menace, back in the Pink Cloud Shrine; they've added Thunder Gamma to their move roster, which hurts like a bitch and is guaranteed to hit the part.





Carrying the Franklin Badge for this portion isn't a terrible idea. I don't, because eh, I've got plenty of healing with me.



They drop a sexy amount of exp., too. They also have a 1/128 item, which is a Brain Food Lunch. It'd be nice if I got one, but I'm not going to grind for it.



Alright, a level up!

For this level, oh, baby! +3 offense, oh, baby! +3 speed, +1 vitality, +1 IQ, +2 luck, +9 HP and +5 PP.



Kim can now put a psychic shield up on everyone, for just 42 PP.



Oh, hey, Susan carries an infinite-use one of these around.



Anywho, we head back up and around, toward this ladder here. If you look to the right, you can see why I actually like this place.





Now, whatever you do, do not underestimate these guys. Especially when they come in pairs.



As the results can be disastrous. Flash Beta is nothing to be trifled with.



But, Nass hit himself a level, as did Susan!

For Nass' level, oh, baby! +3 offense, +1 defense, +1 speed, +1 guts, +1 luck, +2 HP and +1 PP.

For Susan's level, he gained +1 speed and +3 HP.



A bit of revival later, and we're back on track.



There's some nice treasures scattered about down here.



This goes to Susan. He's got a few things to repair yet.













240 HP, weak to Fire and Freeze, and the only new trick is the ability to use the HP-sucker. Don't ask me where they got one.



Oh, yeah, and

To think, that's not even from a boss. That's a regular group of enemies, which will all remain here forever, be just as easy to kill, and can gather up to a group of six! See, this is the kind of stuff that dreams are made of.



To the right here, there's one of the best treasures around this place.



Poo gets himself a fancy bit of headgear.



No resistances on it, though. It's kind of weird to me that the Diadem doesn't do anything, since the Sword of Kings will never miss, the Bracer resists hypnosis, and the final piece, the Cloak of Kings, raises speed by a good bit. Well, the Diadem does raise luck, so it's kind of weird to me it doesn't do anything useful.

Never mind on the Diadem sucking. Alien Arcana swoops in to prove I'm an idiot yet again!







Anyways, let's get back on track.



OUTTA MY WAY, ASSHOLES



I actually did defeat those two; Dad just called immediately after the battle, before they could fade.



Eh...Sure, let's take a break. But not down here.



We'll rest next to this hole. It just drops into the room with the rock before, so there's no need to go down it. And I wasn't kidding about the break. The next update is going to finish out this place, and I'm worried about making another massive update, like I did for the Fifth Sanctuary dungeon.

So, next time, on Earthbound, we'll finish off the Seventh Sanctuary dungeon! Stay tuned!