Part 59: Update Fifty Eight: Night Of The Comet

Sweet Jesus, I get to determine who you give stuff to? Damn, I am important.

Anywho...

Welcome back! Last time, on Earthbound, Nass journeyed through the land in his mind, Magicant. He also gained the power of the Eight Power Spots of the world, and with it, a massive power boost. Today, we're going to see what we must do next, so let's get started.



We were in Saturn Valley.



Oh, Mr. Saturn, this is so sudden! I'm so glad you do!



Don't worry about that, Mr. Saturn. While I'm here, there's no hoping to die or needles in the eyes.



What in tarnation is that thing? Looks like some sorta space-man kerjigger.



Ding!



You bet your Einsteiny ass they are, Andonuts.



: kids. ...Well, anyway... The prototype Phase Distorter has been stolen. Someone resembling a pig wearing clothes took Mr. Saturn captive and stole the device!

A pig wearing clothes, you say? I can only think of one person who fits that description.



Was the other Phase Distorter being stolen part of the plan? Because, if so, you guys are up there with Batman on the "planning shit really well" scale.



:Phase Distorter. The purpose of the device is to enable instantaneous travel through space and time. In this prototype, you can only travel to different points within the same time period. It is able, however, to search out the locations of enemies.

You all read that correctly. He mentioned time travel.



Really? There must have been a few dinosaurs that escaped the purge.



Now, I intended to go over and talk to Gerardo there, but apparently, I didn't squeeze past Apple Kid correctly, so instead, we're getting into the Phase Distorter.



It shakes a little bit, but there's not really anything happening.



Though, I'm going to guess it was not successful.



"It didn't work"? No shit. No wonder you're the scientist here.



Considering we're fighting aliens, I imagine it won't be all that difficult to get our hands on whatever you need. Just tell me what I need to kill.



: that fell when I was much younger.

I get some Tunguska event vibes from this, even though that wasn't actually an impact. If I remember right, whatever caused it burst in the air, instead of actually impacting, but I wouldn't be surprised if this was the reference they were going for. Or maybe I'm just reaching.



Funny you should mention that, Doc. I wouldn't say it was a recent sighting, but I certainly know where one is.



: the material Zexonyte. ...I doubt your mortal enemy, Giygas, or whatever, will allow you to go to Onett and get a piece of the meteorite. By now, Onett is in his evil hands. You must go, though, so take every possible precaution. The Mr. Saturns have introduced some of their new developments at their shop. Please check them out before you leave. ...I wonder what Onett is like at this point in time?...

I wonder how surprised whatever bad guy has holed up there is going to be when we shot up and kick his ass all the way to Fourside.



: I'm going to stay here for a while and help Mr. Saturn. It's important for a man to enjoy doing his duty.

Gerardo is still awesome.



Let's go hit the shop, see what's new.



The first two Mr. Saturns still have what they were originally selling when we first arrived.



The one in the back sells these new goodies. I decide to hold off on buying any for now, as I plan on getting a few Star Pendants.



Alright, let's get to Onett.



We use Nass' new teleportation ability, since 8 PP ain't shit to him anymore.



As soon as we arrive, we're clued in on that things are not going well here. First off, it's dark. It hasn't been dark around here since, what, we started the game?



Let's just get what we need from here and skedaddle.



The faster we do that, the faster Dr. Andonuts can fix his machine and the faster we'll resolve this entire issue.





Oh, no. This isn't good. We're on the path to Nass' house, and there weren't monsters before this.



BAD MOTHERFUCKER ALERT



Look at this asshole. Look at him. He has 750 HP. Good defense. His offense?



Fucking horrifying.



This is the average damage to the entire party. When you encounter these guys, kill them as fast as possible. I don't give a shit what else is in the enemy party. After this, they'll start a countdown, starting at three. What happens when they finish that countdown?

Well, it certainly ain't pretty.



But, kick their asses, and you're rewarded with a nice amount of sexy exp.



Seriously, though, and I want to stress this point, do not fuck around when the Ghost of Starman is involved. Kill him first.



After crushing that Mechanical Octobot that was hanging around there, Poo gains himself a level.

For this level, he gains +2 offense, +1 defense, +1 HP and +2 PP.



Damn, more enemies. I don't like them this close to Nass' house.



The cohort here is an Evil Eye. They have 720 HP, with a good offense and a not-bad defense. They have a crippling weakness to Freeze, though.



As shown here. Freeze Omega ain't nothing to mess around with, kids. It's not a bad idea to take him out quickly, either, as he has access to Paralysis Omega, Brainshock Omega, and can Diamondize party members.



And look at all the juicy exp!



Kim hits herself a level here, which isn't surprising.

For this level, oh, baby! +4 offense, +1 defense, +2 speed, +2 guts, +1 IQ, +1 luck, +3 HP, and +3 PP.



More enemies outside of Nass' house. We've gotta protect Mom, Tracy, and the delicious Cats waiting for us!



Well, this looks bad.



But, this is badder. So bad, that it kills everything. It's worth all 98 of the PP it costs.



It's also pretty awesome when Susan gains a level.

For this level, he gained +1 offense, +1 luck, and +13 HP.



Let's check on Nass' family.



I am not a fan of how dark it is in this room.



But, Mom and Bowser are still safe!



Was there ever really any doubt, Mom?



Yeah, I killed like, eight of them to make it here.



That's probably a good idea. Starstorm Alpha kicks our asses. I'd hate to see what it does to a random citizen.



It'll be okay if you sit here quietly, Mom. We'll go fix it.



Psh, that's gotta be one of those "rhetorical" questions. Nass is always down to eat some Cats.



And it's a full-heal, free of charge. Gotta love Mom.



don't you think?

It's really nice when you're acknowledged as the strongest people around in an RPG. It actually makes all those levels and earth-shattering abilities seem like they're being noticed.



As long as we're around, let's check in on Tracy.



She's doing her part, too, to help us save the world.





Look, I know they're just screenshots and sprites, but c'mon, think of the journey we've been through. Think of all the times we called Tracy, to ask her to store our crap and to take it out as we need it, and she never complained. Never asked why. She just offered to hold onto it and did it without expressing her worry for us. Only now, now that the fight has been brought to Onett, is her shell starting to crack and she shows that she really loves her big brother, and is willing to keep on helping us.



Before I go on being sappy and shit, let's give Susan an extra point of IQ by chowing down on some pure sugar. This puts his IQ at 65, making him smart enough to repair the Broken Antenna, which repairs into his ultimate weapon.



There's a lot of Goddamned encounters around here, too. It really adds this feeling that Giygas is pulling out all the stops to kill Nass, Kim, Susan and Poo.



While Aloysius and Lardna were both sacks of shit, let's see if we can't check on Picky. He was a good kid.



...There's no answer. There's nothing. I hope Picky's okay.





Just this final walk up this hill toward the meteorite. We're nearly done here in Onett.



But first, Nass and Poo gain levels!

For Nass' level, he gained +1 offense, +1 HP, and +1 PP.

For Poo's level, oh, baby! +3 offense, oh, baby! +5 defense, oh, baby! +3 speed, +1 guts, +2 vitality, +2 IQ, +1 luck, sweet! +25 HP, and +5 PP!



After the Magicant boost, regular levels just don't compare, no matter how good they are. Though, Poo had a hell of a level there, I say.



That's an Evil Eye.



That's a good reason to take them out fast. And Kim gained a level!

For this level, Kim gained +1 HP and +2 PP.





You Goddamned bastards, leave me alone!



Okay, I don't mind this so much.

For this level, Susan gained +1 offense, +1 defense, +2 guts, +1 IQ, and +3 HP.

If I had been a touch more patient, Susan would have been able to repair the Broken Antenna now and I could have kept that Rock Candy.



While Lier did give me the creeps, they weren't bad enough I wish him psychically murdered by alien invaders. Just regular murdered, really.



...There's no answer here, either. I bet he's hiding in the tunnel he dug in his home. It's probably the safest place for him, honestly.



Alright, there's the meteorite. Let's just sneak in...



We found what we needed, that's good. Let's make this quick.



...Nass, it's a fucking glowing meteorite! That shit looks hot, still! Don't reach in there!



And that's it! No boss fight to get this or anything. I guess the developers considered the Ghost of Starman a big enough obstacle getting here.



Let's get the fuck out of here.



And have our resident genius, hopefully, fix something!



Ah, free heals. I love you, Mr. Saturn.







: Ooh, Susan, what'd you fix this time?

: To be prepared for war, is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.

: Um, 'kay.



This is Susan's ultimate weapon. His damage from a regular attack now is near what the Heavy Bazooka, on average, puts out.



And with a quick call to Dad, we're done here.

Next time, on Earthbound, let's see what Dr. Andonuts is going to do with the piece of meteorite we got, eh?

Stay tuned!