Part 60: Update Fifty Nine: Shit Just Got Heavy

Welcome back! Last time, on Earthbound, we discovered Onett was full of terrible monsters, and we took a piece of the meteorite there, as Dr. Andonuts requested us to. Today, we're going to see just what he needed that piece for, so let's get started.



Let's go deliver this to Dr. Andonuts.



Before this, he just repeated the line about needing a piece of the meteorite.



Alright, here we go.



I dunno, Doc. It just looks like a piece of space rock to me.



And I suppose the textbooks back in your day were still raving over the invention of the microscope, so it's okay.



Does real science work like this? If a scientist just needs one little thing, can he really fix the entire thing, after it's been built and tested and already spit out some charred bodies, in a day or so? Or am I just asking questions that need not be asked?



Fuck it. Let's get some sleep instead. I bet Susan could explain it, though.





After resting for a while, let's check up on Andonuts' progress.



: is equipped with two new features. First, it can repair your biological functions. Second, it can save your progress.

So, Andonuts' new toy is pretty bitchin'. It's also another free full-heal, with the addition of having a phone built right in.



Eh? What could be there wrong with this thing?



Oh. Not knowing if we have a way back is a pretty big downside. But, we're heroes, right? I guess this comes with the territory.

: Are you ready to go?

: As ready as we'll ever be.



: Even if you're not 100%, perfectly, completely ready... Well, you should be as prepared as possible. It would be for the best. Without careful preparation, you would be in big trouble. I just want to make sure you're ready. Let me know when your preparations are complete.

Well, everybody, we're ready to go. There's nothin' else I wish to do, and we've got all the best gear we could ask for. So, let's talk to the good doctor again and get our endgame on.



Like Nass said, as ready as we'll ever be.



Hey, uh, Doc? You already told us this, so let's fast-forward.



Into the Phase Distorter we go.



Here we go, guys. Let's mosey.







We do the same transportation into this area. And maybe it's just me, but I do not like that song. Even though it fits this area.



Alright, everyone pile out of the Phase Distorter!



Well...This is kind of a lame-ass looking area.



Gah, fuck, what is that!?



Oh, it's just Jesus/Poo's Teacher.



'sup, dawg?



He's right. We're nearly finished with the game. Am I the only one who's going to be sad to see this go?



But, extra powers are nice! Especially if they're the last power.







Oh, Goddamn, that is a sweet-ass skill. It's pretty expensive for Poo's PP pool, though, at 42 PP a shot.



But, let's continue on.



Hey, a Mr. Saturn! And...Wait a minute...



Who would kidnap Mr. Saturn? And why?





...Wait a second, didn't Dr. Andonuts mentioned a Mr. Saturn who was kidnapped?



Jesus Christ, we saw this from the Lost Underworld! But, that was a while ago...How long has this Mr. Saturn been here?



This confirms it. This is that side cave we went into in the Lost Underworld.



Hmm. There's more land off that way. But, how do we get there?



Nass is a pretty chill motherfucker if he doesn't have an issue with this thing. Like, if I stepped onto the porch one day for a cigarette and this fucker was just in someone's yard, I'd be far too "What the fuck?" about it.



Why the hell did we come here? Aside from Mr. Saturn, there's nothing.



Who else has a Phase Distorter? I thought we had the only working one.



Dr. Andonuts? Apple Kid? What are you two doing here?



Uh...Yeah, no shit, Doc. I can see it right there.



Oh, Mr. Saturn, what aren't you awesome at?



I'm going to include the second half of this sentence in a text box. I think it's easier to digest that way.



Giygas is attacking from the past. Even though we've done everything here in the present, it has not been for naught. Nass has gained the power of the Sanctuary Spots, and we've saved many, many lives here. But now, we've got to travel to the past.





There's also a downside to this, too. The bad thing is, I'm sure we all already know what it is.



Oh, Mr. Saturn, you mood-lightening motherfucker.



Dr. Andonuts begin to walk away when we speak to him again.



He has to have some heavy news, if he's doing the whole "intensive stare off of a cliff" thing.



We all know where this is going, yeah?



We've got to take the fight to the past. There's no getting around this one.



: Life is demolished in the process of warping.

Oh, well, then, we're shit out of luck, huh?



: "program" into a robot, and send the robot to the past. ...The transfer means that your spirit will go into the robot while your body is left behind...

Wait, wait, wait...You're telling us we get to become robots? And that's supposed to be a bad thing? Fuck it, robots are awesome!



...Oh, yeah, there's still that part. As awesome as being a robot would be, being a robot trapped in a battlefield in the past...Maybe not so awesome.



And that means there isn't anyone else who can do it.



: Of course.

: Yes.

: Indeed.

: Absolutely.



: return to your current form, right?

Look, Doc, they made themselves clear.



Well, there's nobody else who can do it. Besides, didn't every kid want to be a hero?



: please give me that red cap... Ready... Stand by...



And the screen then fades to black.





Dr. Andonuts begins his work on our heroes, transplanting their brain "programs" into the robotic bodies.





We hear the same "power drill" noise we did back when Susan fixed the submarine.



Rocky! Brad!



C'mon, Doc. When you're a chosen one and a hero, you just accept these things. It's all part of saving the world.



Jesus, that's a lot of pressure on Nass. "Nass, throw the switch and potentially strand everyone in the past!"



It's not like he has a lot of choices here. Of course he does.



: save through that bravery is immense. I feel very fortunate...to be present at the beginning of this monumental undertaking...



The Phase Distorter begins performing the process to initiate time travel.



The screen fades to white...



Then becomes completely black. We're traveling through time, kids.



Normally, the cliche here is to ask not "where" we are, but "when" we are. The answer here is piss off, that hasn't been funny in like, 800 years.



And this is where we end off for now. We're now past the point of no return. Next time, on Earthbound, we'll begin our final fight against Giygas and his toadies. Stay tuned.