Part 63: Update Sixty Two: Thanks, Everybody

Welcome back. Last time, on Earthbound, we defeated Giygas and saved the universe. Today, we're going to take Kim home, so let's get started.



We left off in Saturn Valley, after Poo had performed PSI Farewell.



Susan had a pretty bitchin' time with us.



Yeah, it is, Doc. It really is.



Oh, stop it, you.



I can only imagine, Doc. After all, the fate of the entire universe rested on the shoulder of your son and his friends.



: Distorter. What a story that would have been... "Scientist and four kids save the world!" Wahahaha!

This is why I love Dr. Andonuts. He might be a wonderful scientist and a neglectful father, but at the same time, he loves his son very much and is just as goofy as the rest of this world.



I don't need to outline why I love Mr. Saturn. If you don't love Mr. Saturn, you're not people.



And here's Apple Kid. I'm certainly glad he waited until now to reveal the odds.



Huh. It's kinda funny how often those one in a million shots come through, huh?



Just play D&D for a few years, Apple Kid. I'm sure you'll understand it in some form.



...Mouse, how did you cross the water? Did you have a little mouse dinghy, named the "U.S.S. Cheesemeister"?



Gerardo, I'm not exactly sure what you were doing here, or how you contributed, but you're still awesome.



...I'm starting to wonder if he even knows why he's here.



: something. Maybe we can play horseshoes, too!



In the present next to him, we find a letter, written by Tony.



Y'know, he called us on the Receiver Phone at one point. Why the hell did he write a letter?



but instead I'm sitting here, waiting for you in Winters. I want to see you again as soon as possible. I can't wait to see your cheerful face. I bet your glasses are dirty. If you come back, I'll clean them for you! Like I said, I'm waiting for you.



Tony is a wonderful friend. Susan's pretty lucky; cleaning your glasses is kind of a pain in the ass.



...Quickly! Everyone on the internet, avert your eyes!



Am I the only one imagining a Mr. Saturn flexing and looking like Master Roshi?



In the present box, we find a letter from Nass' mom.



Once again, we have a Receiver Phone with us. Surely, Dad could have given her the number and she could have called at any time.



For example, I don't have to do as much laundry. Also, we don't seem to eat Cats as much as we used to. I heard you defeated some universal evil character--what was it, Googi, or something like that? Well, that sounds really great! I want to hear all the details, so hurry home, okay? Tracy, Bowser and I are waiting for you.



Googi made me laugh a hell of a lot harder than it had any right to.



Over near the final present box, we encounter a Mr. Saturn in the middle of an asthma attack.



...Or maybe not. This Mr. Saturn is simply high! On life!



Aww, Kim got a letter from the children.





Me okay. Please come and play with us again at Polestar Preschool. Oh yeah, one more thing, bring us some presents ...if you have any.



Y'know, if Kim just gave the children presents from what she had in her inventory, someone is going home with a Bag of Dragonite.



Holy scene change, Batman! There are some areas that have different dialog after you've beaten the game; I'm not going to cover every single last one of those. There's just a few that stick out to me, so we'll be covering some of them.



These two don't have anything new to say, but their phone is in working order.



Next level? Dad, what are--



Oh, Dad. What a card!



: home for that big day! I'll be sure to get you a good present! I've been following your adventures closely, but I want to hear about them from you, in person. You sound a lot more... mature over the phone. Well, I'll see you at home, then. Bye!

All of the people we can call have different dialog now. Let's run down the list.



This is Mom. I'm sure she's glad to hear her only son hasn't been blasted into a ludicrous amount of gibs by now.



: did, but... Anyway, if you come home quick, I'll make some Cats. Get here as soon as you can. I can't wait to see your bright and shining face!



Next up is our constant item storage pals.



"Then we found out she was storing a shit-load of lasers! We had to confiscate all of that and fire her! We lost four men in the process, though..."



: work you're doing. It's an honor to talk to you, sir. Oh, you're calling for a delivery? I'm very sorry. My wife is out on maternity leave, so I'm taking care of my other kid. I decided to take some time off from the delivery business.

Well, it's a good thing we didn't want anything else now, eh?



Oops. Anyone who's talked to a parent on the phone before has probably experienced this.



: I really would like to hear some of your stories. Zoicks! That was the dog's food! *Crash!* Hey, hey! Now look what you've done! ...I'm sorry, I have to go. Good bye.

I hope he doesn't beat that child for his transgressions; that's how Pokey was made, y'know.



Ah, Mach Pizza. I only ordered one pizza from them, and it was off-camera.



: using us for all of your pizza needs.

Honestly, random present boxes fulfilled my pizza needs better than you guys did.



...I must have dialed the wrong number for the Stoic Club.



: The Stoic Club?! That lame place shut down ages ago! We totally remodeled the place! Now we've got loud music, great food, and really rowdy crowds... Listen, buddy, I'm too busy to talk to you right now. Just drop by anytime! You come, you enjoy... I promise!



After those phone calls, there's only one thing left down here that I find worthy of note.



The talking rock is no more. He has fulfilled his duty. I wonder if it's restful becoming a regular rock again.



Back to the Tenda Village! Yeah, I'm aware that we're rapidly flipping places, but c'mon, it's the end of the game! Cut me a break on all those technical details!



If you'll recall, we lent this man a book from the library.



: Oh, man, the pages smell like sausage and why can I now taste kiwi fruit!?



No longer shy and polite as hell. This book is fucking amazing.



And now we're in Dalaam!



Everyone in this kingdom is nice as hell, too.



Poo, I don't think that's how you sit on the throne. Maybe...Maybe that psychic assault did more damage than to just his HP meter...



Well, you don't have much besides one of the strongest people on the entire planet. And hell, even knowing that, look at Poo! Were I him, I'd be as hell right now.



I wonder how the journey through Magicant compared to Poo's Mu training.



Alright, let's get that library book back where it belongs.







It's been a good little bit since we've been here. I wonder if this lady even remembers what book we checked out.



It seems that she remembers. She's one hell of a librarian.



Aww, man, why do I never encounter those kinds of librarians?



Maybe it's just me, but is that a hint of color I see in Nass' cheeks?



Before we head to Nass', house, though, let's check on a few things around Onett.



Namely, Pokey's old house and one other house.



...You're not Pokey's dad!



Sudden Guts Pill, I apologize for this, but that bitch.

: Well, live and learn. You just have to keep plugging away.

...Oh. This guy doesn't seem that bad to me. How the hell did Lardna land this guy?



Y'know, Nass, you have enough PP for six or so Bacon Omega's. I'm just sayin'.



If I'd had it my way, he'd be walking around in Hell!



She has to be secretly rich. Or give wonderful head. Or...Or something!



I'll be happy when he tells you to put the lotion on your skin, or else you get the hose again!



Sorry about that, folks. I just...Really hate every member of the Minch family.



Except Picky. He's a good kid.



Oh, buddy, if you want cool, sit down; we've got stories.



Picky, I think you're above average cool.



Let's hit Nass' house real quick while we're here. We have one more stop to make here in Onett, then it's off to take Kim hom.



Eh? Kim, I just said--



Not yet, Kim. Not yet.



I wonder how high Nass' heart soared there.



I know mine would have just flown to the moon.



: I'd like to hear all of your stories, but I don't want to annoy you as soon as you walk through the door. I want to have a chance to get to know your little girlfriend. It's good to meet you, Kim. After all your chats with people you met on your adventure are finally over, please come back here. The photo-man brought an album by. I'd like to look at it with you...

Nass' mom is one of my favorite video game moms. She's just so...Nice.



saved the world!)

Damn straight you know the score, Bowser.



Let's see how Tracy is doing, what without having a job now and all.



She's just pleased as punch to see us.



And she promptly throws up on the floor in excitement.



I'm sensing a touch of arrogance/maliciousness here.



Well, yeah, they did. How much crap of ours did they come take into storage? Including how many weapons that I'm sure violated the Geneva Convention?



Y'know, Tracy, I like the cut of your jib.



Like I said earlier, we were going to save world, get girl; did you really think I'd leave one of those steps out?



And here, she offers to still store and check out stuff to us. I'm not sure why you'd ever use this, but it's nice that it's still there.



However, we turn her down. There's no need for her services anymore.



when you were gone...

Tracy's a hell of a sweet girl. Not as irritating as stories of younger sisters have led me to believe.





Just one more stop to make before we take Kim home.





Y'know, I'd think Kim would be a little frightened to be led into a cave, dug out in some guy's basement, but I think if Nass tried anything, she'd Freeze Omega his ass back to the Stone Age.



Lier X. Agerate. I don't know why he's down here.



Y'know, Nass, we are pretty far underground. I don't think the corpsey smell would reach the surface...



He may eat a lot of garlic, but you have the Rabbit's Foot equipped. I bet you could gank him before he knew what hit him.



Fuck you, Lier, you creepy-ass motherfucker.







Hey, there's the meteorite. Alright, now there's just one stop.



That's all Nass has to say about this.



And so, off to Twoson we go!



Everdred isn't in Burglin Park, so the only thing here that interests me is the Polestar Preschool.



And here we are. It's been a hell of a journey.



Nass is a gentlemen, after all. Of course he escorts his lady home.



Aww. I know what she means there.







Ah, just as awkward as they should be.





Alright, guys, here we go. Let's get home.









And that's it. We're done. It's been a hell of a ride, huh?

I've had a wonderful time doing this LP. Everyone who posted, from those who had beaten this game before, to those who weren't even aware of its existence, it was great to be your guide through this game. From what I understand, I did a pretty good job, as evidenced by all the views, the Gold rating, and everyone who told me I did.

I'm so glad I could do this for you guys. I hope you all loved this as much as I did. But, your dear old LP'er is thinking of hitting the hay for the night. I've created a record of our adventure to this point. Good night, sleep tight.