Part 66: Monster Time Part 1 - Prologue / Onett Outskirts

Hey, can I be this thread's OFS? I kind of know a lot about the game.

Actually Earthbound's really pretty simple under the hood. Damage is always 2x Offense - Defense; most attacks have a flat 1/16 chance to miss, and then there's have a chance to dodge as well based on the relative speed of attacker and defender. SMAAAAAASH! attacks inflict double damage before subtracting defense, and happen with frequency Guts/500.

The Earthbound level-up algorithm is weirdly complicated; it's randomized, but it also compensates when a stat goes too high or low. Levels that are a multiple of four are always the big ones - so if you feel like grinding, those are the milestones to aim for! Also HP always tries to match Vitality x 15 (and PP likewise matches IQ x 5), though it can overshoot it a bit. I'll do a full post on leveling later.


Meanwhile MONSTERS!!!!


Coil Snake has a 1/8 chance each turn to do the "immobilize" routine and stop Nass from acting that turn, giving the Snake's friends a chance to beat on him. Unfortunately Coil Snake has no friends and is only ever encountered alone.

HP 18, Offense 4, Defense 2, Speed 2.
Worth 1 XP and $4. 1/32 chance to drop a Cookie.


Runaway Dog spends more than half his turns howling at you rather than actually attacking. He's worth the most XP of the starter enemies, so if you want to grind a bit this is who you look for.

HP 21, Offense 3, Defense 5, Speed 26.
Worth 4 XP and $3. 1/32 chance to drop a Bread roll.


Nobody likes the Spiteful Crow. His absurdly high Speed means he always goes first, and he's got something like a 1-in-3 chance of dodging your attacks. He hits harder than the other enemies on Onett Hill, to boot, and has the most HP. But that's not the real dick move: one of his moves lets him steal an item from your pack. You can't get it back. In a game where inventory management is a Big Deal, this is the ultimate asshole maneuver and will continue to be annoying in the future. The Cookie he gives you is more of an insult than anything else.

HP 24, Offense 5, Defense 3, Speed 77.
Worth 3 XP and $5. Always drops a Cookie.


Starman Junior, the game's first boss, would be incredibly dangerous without Buzz Buzz around. He throws around Fire and Freeze attacks that would, indeed, insta-kill Nass. (Junior's weakest attack deals around 80 points of damage.)

Fortunately we've got Buzz Buzz to block the PSI and do some damage. It's not that unusual for Nass to finish him off. Buzz Buzz's attack power seems to be designed with that possibility in mind.

HP 200, PP 999, Offense 11, Defense 10, Speed 1.
Worth 16 XP and $20.


what have i gotten myself into