Part 19: Shit Let's Be Jesus

Shit Let's Be Jesus


Today's update started, predictably enough, with running between Balmora and Seyda Neen, selling loot over the course of a few weeks. I decide I should check in with Ahnassi before I accidentally sell that robe again.


Well, what the hell. I'm not using it, right?


Ebony Throwing Stars? THEY HAVE THOSE?! Well, this is going right into my shanty storage unit.


Ahnassi also has another lead for us, but I'd like to put this off until I can reliably cast stronger chameleon spells. Let's check in with Caius instead.


"Yeah, you might be the second coming. Go to this village and doublecheck."


And so I set off with my magic dagger.


And then I got there.


After assuring this gentleman that I was not here to harm him, he directed me to the village administrative cul-de-sac.


Greeny!


LET'S RASSLE academic interest, can I see your chief?


Chief Forcefield tells us that he'll be happy to run jesus tests on us if we run a dungeon and grab a bow for him.


Said dungeon is just a stone's throw away.


It's got skeletons. These guys pretty much crumble when they touch my sword.


Oh no, a perilous gap! Hope I can jump it!


I'm pretty sure this segment of the dungeon is an ancient Mario Party board.



Got Item!


I think that skeleton back there is struggling with his heavy sword.


This guy was wearing a mix of light, medium and heavy armor. The Orcish Cuirass is a pretty decent improvement.


The next room is pretty cool. Essentially, you're just going up and around this central stone pillar, and there are four Burials for you to check out loot.


Oblivion would later ruin vertical dungeons for everyone. Anyway, each burial is more or less identical, so I'm only going to describe Fragile in detail.


These statues are usually clutching some form of awesome loot.


Enemies in the passageway! Bet you didn't see that coming, player.


Eventually you get to a room with shallow water, and a platform with four statues. This is your cue to take things. I'm on top of the platform, if it's not obvious.


Fragile bears the distinction of having the only secret passage out of the four Burials.


It leads to another treasure room!


I'm genuinely jazzed about this find. It's the best light shield in the game. There are a handful of medium shields that are just barely better, but they involve murdering House guards and fuck that. That having been said, I'm sticking with the Dragonscale Shield for a while to keep myself in a unified medium armor set for the endurance.


Son of a sub-mariner was this a disappointing Burial. Skeletons, skeletons, more skeletons, and worst of all, no sweet wizard loot. Waste of a perfectly good name, Bethesda.


The skeletons looked pretty cool in the light, though.






Some of the mummies in the main chamber have pretty good loot, too!


The last leg of this dungeon is Juno Burial. I get it, Bethesda. You have played RPGs.


And this is the g-g-ghost of Chief Forcefield's dad. We burn him to death and claim the bow.


Ding! The endurance multiplier sorely reminds me of how I need to be using that spear more.


I guess I'm an honorary Ashlander now! We'll come back in a bit to talk to the important Wise Woman. And hey, free bow!


For now, though, I'm heading to Seyda Neen to stash my loot. This daedric shrine is pretty tempting...


Yeah so this is why you should never summon a Flame Atronach. They have terrible aim.


And this is a Huntger! They try to get you with their tongues. Nothing I can't stab.


In we go!


I'm not really doing a lot of damage per hit to this gal due to her armor or something, but I manage to keep her firmly stunlocked. I don't know if it's because of my Short Blade skill or the strength of the Ebony Shortsword, but I can really get a good pummel going on a lot of enemies. Also, I'd just like to point out that I'm getting a shitload of levels in Short Blade lately. I'm trying to alternate between it and my spear more often. For the endurance.


Goddamn is that a good find.


Helpless enemy for ten seconds? Yes please. Unfortunately, there's not much else in here besides a third cultist, so off I go. I got a glass axe out of the deal, though!


I run into Ivan Ooze outside. He's pretty tough, but I emerge victorious thanks to smart use of heal-over-time spells.


We run to Balmora for some quick repairs...


And then hit up the Seyda Neen area for some spear and medium armor training. I got the bright idea to take off my robes and cloth fineries to prevent Unarmored levels, but I eventually realize that not wearing a helmet makes that pointless anyway.


We do some jumping, too.


Okay, that's enough of that. I've got an idea. Quickly, to the mages' guild!


I make a better science-based spell. The damage-over-time stuff is nice, but sometimes you just need a nuke.


And now the main reason I came here -- making my spear badass! Now we'll use it more often.


Okay, back to the plot.



I may or may not be the Nerevarine and there are many reasons for that. Most of it went over my head, but hey, Dissident priests came up again! You'd think this is my cue to investigate in Vivec, but the game actually wants us to talk to Caius again.


Anyway, let's do Thieves' Guild stuff!


Well then! Let's go get us a key!


Your money and your life!


We also help ourselves to a new robe. Fancy!


I guess you're not supposed to murder for Thieves' Guild quests. Whoops!


Now we need to track down some dwemer artifacts. Habasi should've gotten these a long time ago, and she wants us to investigate. To Hla Oad!


Well, shit. Chances are he's lying, but I went over the place with a fine-toothed comb and found absolutely no dwarven geegaws.


Well, she wanted a bowl, goblet and tube.


Goblet and bowl? Check. Tube, not so much.


Told ya spears would pay off! Strength and intelligence were kinda lacking, but it's not like they really need a shot in the arm at this point.


Out in the wastes, we encounter a rather unsavory orc. And take her awesome bracers.


Remember, always check the journal!


Traveltraveltravel dungeon.


Annnnd there's our tube.


Habasi is pleased, and rewards us with thieving tools. Which would be great if we didn't rely on thieving magic.


Now she wants brandy. To the manor!


Yup, he's dead all right. No sign of the brandy, though. Let me know if I'm missing something, goons!


In the meantime, let's check out this shrine. Now, after a few deaths I know that there's a murderous lady in there, and that she's got fucking Lothor to back her up. Now, I can't fight both of them at once, so what do I do?


Glorious.


Here's spear in yer eye, kid.


Waaaaaiiiiit a minute. Is that what I think it is?


Hell yeah it is! I'm going to stash this away until I can actually handle long blades.


And as long as I'm in Seyda Neen, I'll pick some mushrooms.


Violet Coprinus and Luminious Russula share two effects, so they're great for mid-level alchemy training. See you next time, goons!