Part 23: Seriously, fuck goblins.

Seriously, fuck goblins.

Oh hey, I just remembered I have an LP! Last time on Lizard Wizard Mage Mage, we recovered a cryptic document from the leader of the Dark Brotherhood detailing a hit put out on us. Today, we investigate!


Hey, we brought our assassin problems to the guards before, so why not now? To the Te





Suddenly this guy teleports in, yammering this and that about how he's going to bring Mournhold to its knees over the coming weeks.


Which might be easier if he wasn't made of paper. He died easily. A bit too easily.


So anyway, a short shlep later, we reach the temple, and it's, well, pretty majestic!


Here's our man, complete with hoity-toity glass pauldrons. The gist of the conversation is that Almalexia is a good person who we should be helping, and that King Name-that-starts-with-a-conspicuous-H is secretly training a goblin army somewhere in the city, and we should smash some of them to cripple the royal jerk's operations. But where do we look first?





On our way out, we pick up a spell, for...reasons.


Whoa, who's the Gold Ranger over there?


Oh shit.


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit. Yeah, this is one of the few things I do remember from nine years ago. Gaenor has some of the best armor in the game, spell reflection, constant health regeneration and a Luck attribute in the hundreds. The only thing to do is run to Godsreach and hide behind the area transition.


Oh hey guy. What's wrong?


He goes on to mention that Dilborn is somewhere in the sewers. I bet our goblins are there too!

Yup.


And these guys. Both the goblins and the horrorfrogs have one thing in common: THEY FUCKING HURT. The goblins are manageable in a one-on-one fight, so naturally they come at you in twos or threes.


What's all this then?


Oh no! If only we had some kind of immobilization spell to render this a completely impotent threat!


Yeah no we totally do.


For completing the quest, we get warm fuzzies and a Sneak skill-up book.


Urgh. Not my best level-up, but we've got goblins to deal with!


WHY ALWAYS WITH THE PUNCHING


Yeah, that right there is three goblins. Fraps dropped the ball on screenshots, but the area after this one had, like, seven goblins minimum. I think I'm ready to leave Mournhold.


But first, there's something great in this building.


The Craftsmen's Hall houses a few merchants, but I'm only interested in this guy. He sells Greater Soul Gems.


And I fill them. He doesn't have the gold to pay full price for a Storm Atronach, but it's basically infinite money. Lizard Wizard Sustainability Mage!


Hilariously, I'm able to duck into the corner of his room and sleep in his bed to restore our mana between lightning golems. I also dick around and practice about five levels' worth of sneaking. Anyway.


ONE TICKET TO NOT MOURNHOLD, PLEASE.


I missed you, nature.


A quick pitstop in Balmora to get some block training. We've got a shield, might as well know how to use it! Plus I want the best agility bonus.


Come to think of it, there's something I've been meaning to check out. Something up gnorth.


Can't get in here, so you can bet your ass it'll be required for the main quest.


Zergonipal. You might remember this as the first place I encountered Rito Revolto.


Let's crack this bad boy open.


Now this is exciting. Short blade is now capped, so I can use my sword with reckless abandon without ruining my leveling. We're gonna see a lot more skill-ups in the magic and stealth departments.


I'll just be taking that.


Oh damn, an ebony spear? Guess we're leaving Tesla's Finger behind then.


BACK THE FUCK OFF MAN, I GOT THIS SHIT FAIR AND SQUARE.


Well, that was fun. I decide to hit up the nearest town, which would be...Sadrith Mora, and check in with Big Helende.


Yeah, so we gotta steal some really fancy alchemy tool in Tel Mora.


But first, let's buy another spell I don't actually plan on casting.


One long-ass shlep later we pull into the shop. With liberal use of chameleon, I try to get behind her to burgle the retort. But she saw me before I could make my move.


This leaves her facing away from her shelf, so we can take the retort.


This'd be great if we ever wanted to practice lockpickery. But we really don't, especially since we'll hopefully be pouring more levels into alteration.


Ooh. Another shrine.


Let's have a look.


Y'know, it's kinda sad when the most memorable thing about a dungeon is the poor race/class combination. I don't expect khajiit decked out in heavy armor and I don't expect redguard mages, because they're both impotent as enemies.


I get some enchanting fodder out of the deal, though, so it's not all bad.


I'm feeling lucky, so I try another cave.


Yeah, it's just some smugglers. There was a Grand Soul Gem, too. Meh.


Success!


We require wizards.


Here are the wizards!


Yikes. That might take a while. But as long as we're here, we might as well get a few enchantments.


First, a belt to ensure that we almost never drop below maximum fatigue. Run everywhere, hit accurately and cast spells better!


Next, we improve our sword. But it lacks a certain...panache.


Perfect.

Also I guess I leveled up again and forgot to grab a screenshot.