Part 25: What? More Distractions?

The default ending, now THAT'S dangerous unforgivable. Your wish is my command!

What? More Distractions?

Last time, we stole a book for the Thieves' Guild in Ald'Ruhn. We've really been neglecting our WIZARDLY DUTIES, so, what was that thing Skink-in-Tree's-Shade wanted us to do?


...oh yeah, that boring noise. Well, let's just turn in our book for now.


Eh. I already know how to turn invisible. Got anything else for me?


An EBONY STAFF you say? That's for me, boy howdy!


Off we go! It's being kept by some Telvanni mage in his tower, which is tucked away in the southeasternish corner of the lands. Also, it took me a moment to realize that this was not lava, but beautiful graphics enhancement.


I ducked into a cave on the way, which proved to be about as exciting and worthwhile as we've come to expect.
_{And yet I keep checking caves}


Later I saw a nifty-looking daedric shrine from a mountaintop, and decided to glide down on wings of slowfalling! Actually, I'll be trying to use my own spells for travel more and more instead of those pendants now that Short Bladeisn't devouring the majority of level-up pie. Except for levitation, of course. That shit is costly.


Death from above!


Whoop, backup's here.


Annnd backup's gone. That Hunger in the corner, he knows what just went down.


Inside, we find...


Goddammit, Bethesda. Get it right.


Now what's that over there? Looks like some kinda giant lady statue.


It's...a shrine?


Ohhh. That statue must've been of Azura.


Fan-cee. No orcs or nothin'!



HEAD NORTH, LIZARD WIZARD. SO SAY THE TITS.


But first, we've got burglin' we gotta do!


Riiiight after some extracurricular burglin'. There are some shops surrounding the tower, and of all things, I found a GLASS HALBERD somehow crammed into this desk at the inn. It's only a slight upgrade from the ebony in terms of damage, but more importantly, it weighs about 20 pounds less. The big black shaft will remain in this desk in case I ever need it again for some reason.


Anyway, on to the tower itself. From talking to locals, I gathered that the gal in charge is kinda batty.


Kinda real batty. Those are kwama eggs.


Up we go!


Well...might as well talk to her. She is an important Telvanni lady after all.


Well, you're demented. Bye now!


Not too far away is the owner of that staff. In case you can't tell, it's the shiny thing behind his right shoulder. Now, you can see how it'd be hard to take it with the guy so close.


It's less of a problem for wizards who can turn invisible.


Invisibility does just what it says on the tin; you can't be seen. Which means your chance to be detected while sneaking is nil. Should you cast a spell, attack something, take something or basically do anything but move around, it'll immediately dispel. That said, it's great for things like getting critical attack bonuses if you're into that thing, and of course, stealing. I grabbed the staff, went doip back into visibility, and away I went.


I was kinda tempted to keep the thing, but if we want a kickass magic staff, we can just make our own after throwing wheelbarrows of septims at blunt training, right guys?


And we're done with the thieving in Sadrith Mora! Lizard Wizard, Bandit Mage! ...wait, isn't that just a Nightblade?


Conveniently, those Ashlanders we need to diplomatize with are kind of on the way to Azura's follower.


Or...grasslanders. Whatever. Let's just look for that wise woman.


This gal has a pretty wise headdress. She wants us to find the White Guar so they can restore their MP see if it helps their medical concerns any.


Rocks like fingers of a hand, got it.


That's not the guar we want.


Theeeere he is! He's hiding!


As soon as we get next to him, he starts leading us somewhere.


Oh. A dead body.


That'll do the trick. Thanks, White Guar!


I go to turn in the amulet and quickly realize that this is a seperate quest.


In retrospect, this should've been obvious.


Huh. Looks kinda...bitchy.


Yup, called it.


I decide to check out the ruins on the way, though, not realizing that "ruins" translates to "worthless pocket of land with daedra enemies and no shrine to loot".


Gotta give the game some credit for making the tombs recognizable, I guess.


There she is!


Time to kill us a ghost!


He's riiiiight over there, and he dies easily. Also, this tomb contained a spear skill book, making it the least worthless so far.


The lengths this game will go to not to move a character. Sheesh.


All done thanks to Lizard Wizard, wise gal!


Yyyyyyup, still a bitch.


Now, that poor follower of Azura's is out there somewhere!


Just crabs on this island.


Ooh, a shrine!


Maybe Sheogorath left...clues there. Yes.


As soon as we get there, we're challenged to an in-your-face wizard duel. It took at least a minute and a half to skewer this guy to death.


You better believe I took his robe.


And look, the tail sticks out in a not-unnatural-looking way!


Once inside, we get into this situation. These two guys are ganging up on me, and the orc has a jinkblade. When I'm not paralyzed, I'm staggering from the blows, helpless. Is there nothing that can be done? Suddenly, I feel a peculiar tickling from beneath my robes, like the horsehairs of a paintbrush. At the nearest opportunity, I reach to investigate.


My sword had grown properly dignified, taking on marks of wealth and high society!


Buck up, my cantripping compatriot! Together, we can trounce these hooligans with but four blows!


A junction, is it? Whenever faced with such a choice as this, I find the leftmost passage to be the most optimal.


I say! Are they really fighting amongst themselves? Quickly, let us slip by unnoticed!


Or sorcellation is just as viable, I suppose.


Ah, an offering! I suggest you leave the heart. These daedric sorts can be a bit testy unless their nosh is perfectly unmolested, don't you know.


That would be my arch-nemesis, Montessori Cubone. Best to leave him be.


Don't forget the gems now, old chap.


Egad. Is that a woman made of gold? Mine her posthaste!


I do believe I've found a suitable neighbor in this staff, Lizard Wizard. Good show.


Best we abscond before these pillagers take note of us.


That was rather enjoyable. Should you have need of me again, well, you know where to find me. Cheerio!


These islands are pretty tiny. It might take a while to find this woman. But I've got all night.

A DOZEN GODDAMN ISLANDS LATER


I came across an island with a humble shack, and this. Reeeeeeeal stealthy, Sheogorath.


The proof's on the finger, as they say! Now there's the matter of getting back to Azura's Shrine.


I use my Amulet of Recall, jog back to Balmora and grab a teleport to Vivec. Why Vivec?


That would be why Vivec.


The only way to travel, as always.


And before you know it, we're here!


Ohhhh baby. I've played enough Oblivion to know what this means. Azura's Star is essentially a reusable Grand Soul Gem. I'll probably be getting a lot more liberal with the soul trapping from now on.


Oh yeah, almost forgot. Gotta check in with Skink.


Lizard Wizard Good Job!

And goons, I'd like to see any and all fan material of Reginald von Bloodslurp you can make.