Part 106: Coco's Route - True End - Part 11

Video: Coco – 34 years

Track—Karma




"So 2013 was four years ago?"

I said to You. You and I were alone in the Security Office....All the sudden You had asked me to come see her, and had started talking about what had happened in 2013.

No, I probably had seen it coming. Just before she had spoken to me, You had hinted indirectly that she had changed her mind and needed someone to confide in.

Her expression was solemn, like a nun about to seek redemption. You's eyes were empty of emotion. And at the same time, her gaze showed an unconditional compassion: impartial, demanding nothing, asking nothing.

After a short while....


"That's right. It was four years ago....When I was 14."

You began quietly to tell her story....



She hadn't been born with it. In 2013, when she was 14, she suddenly had fallen ill. One day, You had suddenly collapsed. She was examined at the hospital and the doctor told her...

[Doctor]
"This is very hard for me to tell you, so I want you to please listen calmly. You have a very serious heart condition. It's unclear whether you'll even make it to the end of high school."

This meant that she only had three or four more years to live. A transplant was out of the question. And even with treatment, she would only suffer and they couldn't guarantee her a cure. There was no way left for her to survive. She had received a death sentence.

[Doctor]
"But medical treatment is advancing daily. In a few years, we may still find a cure. So don't give up. You have to fight this illness."

With the doctor's hollow consolation, emptiness took over her mind.













































She opened it, and silently passed it to me....




"WAS your child?"




"Which means you were lying to me...."


"It wasn't...a lie....She is my daughter....But she's also my twin sister....And....She's another me....She is...myself...."

I didn't know what to say.


"This was my sin....I know I'll never be forgiven, and will never be able to atone for it....But...."


"Like I told you, I have no regrets. I'm glad I had her...."


"........."


"I'll never forget the moment that new life was created. It was...such an unbelievably happy moment....The first time she said, 'Mama... Mama....' I...I can't explain it....It was more than a precious feeling, or love, or that good fortune had come my way...I felt as if I were wrapped in light...."

"I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if I burn in the fires of hell for thousands, millions of years....But...I knew I wanted to protect...my daughter....no matter what. I didn't want her to suffer....Her smile is so beautiful....Her tiny hands are so cute....She is everything to me....She is irreplaceable....Besides, none of this is her fault. She was welcomed to this world...just like any other soul born who comes here."

"But at the same time...the moment I gave birth to her...I died. It was as if I no longer existed....You see....I gave all my life, my existence, to my child...."



The baby in the picture was reaching out, trying to grab something.